I pictured Caela in my mind. More perfect than any bird of the skies, or animal of the land.
"As the story goes, Remus saw the first bird," Felix continued. "But immediately after, Romulus saw a flock of ten birds. Which was the greater sign? Each brother claimed the right to the throne. As Remus and Romulus fought for control of the land, Romulus killed his brother, then founded the city of Rome on that spot." Felix eyed me sideways. "Before you can understand Rome, you must understand where we began. We are a product of our history of violence, betrayal, and blood."
I was still thinking of Caela, the way I had abandoned her in that cage. "I know about the execution of criminals at the games, and the gladiators who battle one another," I said warily. "I know those animals must be sent into the amphitheater as part of the battles, but what will happen to the griffin? Surely she is not part of the venatio. She is a gift to the emperor, right?"
Felix drew in a breath and released it with a sigh. "In two days, the emperor will be watching the games. Then he will see who is stronger, his mighty gladiators or the griffin, animal of the gods."
I
closed my eyes and tried to absorb the horror I felt. The venatio was a hunt -- Felix had told me that, but I had never thought it included Caela. Inexperienced and too eager to please, I had just led Caela into a cage to await her turn to die. I had only one friend left in this world, and with that betrayal, I was already becoming a part of Rome.
Eventually, Felix led me to his home, a small wooden box behind a loud tavern and within perfect view of a much larger, fancier building called the Ludus Magnus, where the gladiators received their training. Felix gazed around the spare furnishings of his home and sighed. "It isn't much, but it's what I've been given."
Maybe it wasn't much to him, but I had trouble believing an entire room had been granted to only one man. One day, I would achieve something like this for myself. I would have my own four walls.
Felix picked up a tunic from his table and handed it to me. It was no fancier than my current one, but it was clean and would hide the mark on my shoulder.
"Thank you," I said, already changing out of my old one. I couldn't wait to be rid of it.
Felix next went to a cupboard and pulled out some drink, which he poured for me, and some bread and cheese. He placed them on a small table and then invited me to sit beside him on the floor. "Please," he said, motioning toward the items. "Have all you want."
All I wanted was everything he had set out, and more. But I didn't reach for any of it. Not yet.
"Why are you helping me?" I tried not to sound as suspicious as I felt. "None of the other slaves are here."
"Is that how you see yourself, Nic, as a slave?"
"Why does it matter how I see myself?" I folded my hands together. "You bought me. You ordered me to cage up a griffin who'll go to her death in two days, and I obeyed, because you own me."
Felix hesitated a moment before cutting a slice of cheese, which he held out to me. I popped a piece into my mouth. It was one of the most delicious things I'd ever eaten, and I quickly ate the rest. He cut me a second slice, thicker than the one before, and offered it, but this one I held in my hand. None of this made any sense. Slaves were never treated so kindly by their masters.
Then it became clear. Felix set down the knife and said, "I want to see that bulla now."
Rather than answer, I ate the second slice of cheese. Not necessarily because I wanted it, but because I needed time to figure out what to do. I couldn't allow him to take the bulla from me. And I wouldn't let him give it to Radulf who seemed to know things about this bulla that I didn't. If Felix intended to take it, how much of a fight would it require to stop him?
But refusing him didn't exactly solve my problems. Maybe I lacked enough good sense to keep from stealing the bulla in the first place, but now that I had, I also had to acknowledge that I'd waded into waters that were far over my head. I needed his help. After a little maneuvering with my arm, I withdrew the bulla from beneath the tunic and held it up for him. I hadn't looked directly at the amulet since hiding it. Now I realized the faint glow that had been there the first time I saw it was still there. I started to remove the bulla, then left it around my neck, just to be clear that it was mine. Which really, it wasn't.
Felix leaned over and held the bulla in his hands. I waited for him to comment on its warmth or the vibration whenever it was touched directly, but he said nothing and didn't even seem to feel the difference between this and any other object. Even the glow seemed to escape his attention. He merely brushed a finger over the initials carved on the front and the griffin on the back, then let it fall back to my chest.
"Do you know who that belonged to?" he asked.
"Caesar," I mumbled. "It was his."
"Did you know that Caesar used to claim he was a descendent of the goddess Venus?"
For some reason, that struck me as funny. "Such a powerful emperor claimed to come from the goddess of love?"
"Also the goddess of military victory. If Caesar was telling the truth about Venus, then he would have been more than a simple human. He may have even had some of her powers. What do you think about that?"
It wasn't up to me to believe or doubt him. Nor could I see how it mattered. Caesar had been dead for almost three hundred years. Unless ... unless he had become a god, one of the immortals. Unless he was alive enough to whisper warnings from inside a sealed cave. I had not stolen the bulla from Radulf. I had stolen it from Caesar.
I nodded and forced out the words that sat like a lump in my throat. "Yes, I believe that."
"Good, because it's true. Venus is the mother of all Romans. She smiled upon Caesar more favorably than any other Roman before or since. And even when he was young, she gave him a way to draw upon the powers of the gods."
My fingers wrapped around the bulla. I was barely able to comprehend the full meaning of what he was saying. "This came from the gods?"
"Straight from Venus's mighty hand to his. When Caesar was alive, this bulla gave him wealth, brought him military victories, and provided him with the power to unify Rome and become the strongest emperor the world has ever known. But he began to believe too much in himself, rather than in Venus's power. His journals boast of his own abilities, not hers. In his arrogance, he removed the bulla and it became lost. Without the bulla, Venus's protections gradually abandoned him. Soon after, he was murdered by his own senators."