Miles gave her a quick smile, teeth flashing. “Raine wears out lances when he’s angry. I have my own way.”
He was silent for a long moment. “How is our son?” he asked quietly.
“He has high cheekbones like your brother Gavin. There is no doubt of the family resemblance.”
“I never doubted it, not truly. Elizabeth…?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Why did you leave me? Why didn’t you return to me within a week or so? I waited every day; I prayed for your return. Kit cried himself to sleep. So many mothers have left him.”
Tears were rolling down Elizabeth’s cheeks. “I was afraid of Roger. He wasn’t sane. Brian had vowed to kill Roger and I was afraid that if I weren’t there to stop him, Roger’d declare war on all the Montgomerys. I hoped to make him see the truth; I hoped to learn the truth about the hatred of the two families.”
“And the men?” Miles said. “Pagnell told everyone of how you were delivered to me and every man who courted you made sure I heard all the details.”
Elizabeth put her hand up. “You were not only the first man to make love to me, you were the first man to speak to me without a leer on his face, the first man to make me laugh, the first man to show me kindness. Even you have said I know nothing about men.”
“So you found out,” Miles said bitterly.
“In a way, I did. I thought about it dispassionately and I knew that it would be better if I loved any man but a Montgomery. If I were married to someone else perhaps Roger would forget that I carried a Montgomery’s child and maybe some of his hatred would leave him. So I decided to meet some men and see if maybe I loved you merely because you were the first.”
Miles was silent, his eyes burning into her.
“Some of the men made me laugh, some were kind, some made me feel beautiful, but none of them did all things. As the weeks went by, instead of fading, everything about you became clearer. I remembered your every gesture and I began comparing the men to you.”
“Even to the size of—”
“Damn you!” Elizabeth cut him off. “I did not bed any of the men and I have a feeling you know that, yet you want to hear me say it.”
“Why didn’t you take them to your bed? Some of the men you met are very successful with women.”
“As you are?” she spat at him. “Here you stand demanding celibacy from me, yet what about you? When I tell you there have been no other men will you allow me to come to your pure bed? This morning I had to drag you from a woman. How do you think I’ve felt while holding your son and knowing that at that moment you could be in bed with one or two—or more—women?”
“More?” he mocked, then lowered his voice seductively. “There have been no women since you.”
Elizabeth didn’t believe she’d heard correctly. “No—” she began, eyes wide.
“My brother Ra
ine and I moved into one of his keeps and in a rage we dismissed every woman, even the laundresses. We trained all day, drank all night and cursed women constantly. Raine came to his senses first when his wife sent their daughter to him. Little Catherine made me miss my own children so I went back to Gavin’s for Christmas and Judith—” He ran his hand through his hair.
“I used to think Gavin was hard on his sweet little wife but I’d never been on the sharp side of her tongue. The woman never left me alone. She was merciless. She talked constantly about our son, sighed over the fact that her son would never know his cousin and she even hired a man to paint a picture of an angel with long blond hair holding a little boy inside my shield. Inside my shield, mind you! I told Gavin I was going to wring his wife’s neck if he didn’t do something but Gavin laughed so hard I never mentioned it again. When she received your letter about how you were willing to forgive me, Judith launched into me with renewed force.”
Miles closed his eyes a moment in memory. “She enlisted Alyx’s help and Alyx came up with a dozen songs about two lovers who were held apart by a stupid, vain man who just happened to look exactly like me. One evening at dinner Alyx led twenty-two musicians in a song that made everyone laugh so hard two men fell off their stools and broke ribs. Alyx was at her best.”
Elizabeth was so astonished at his story she could barely speak. “And what did you do?”
He winced in memory. “I very calmly bounded over the table and took Alyx’s throat in my hands.”
“No!” she gasped. “Alyx is so tiny, so—”
“Both Raine and Gavin drew swords on me and as I stood there, about to kill this pretty little songbird, my brothers’ swords at my neck, I realized I wasn’t myself. The next day Judith arranged the meeting between us.” His eyes twinkled. “The meeting where you wanted Sir Guy to deliver you to me in a carpet.”
Elizabeth wouldn’t look at him. She thought Sir Guy had been on her side, yet all along he’d been reporting—and laughing—to Miles. How the two of them must have slapped each other’s backs at her wanting to seduce her own husband. What had happened to that prideful woman who’d once stood on a cliff edge and vowed never to submit to any man?
“Excuse me,” she whispered as she swept past Miles on her way back to Roger.
Miles caught her in his arms, pulling her close to him.