Elliot and the Pixie Plot (Underworld Chronicles 2) - Page 35

"I can't. Not yet. I'll run in the other direction. Without a light, the Shadow Men will follow me instead of you. I'll run for as long as I can and then poof away."

"Don't get caught," Elliot said. "That's a king's order."

"There won't be much time, so don't you get caught either. That's a friend's order." After a short bow, Fudd poofed himself away. He must have reappeared at a close distance from the Shadow Men, because Elliot heard him yell, "Hey, Shadow Men! You can't catch Brownies or Goblins or Elves. You're so slow, you can't catch yourselves!"

Almost instantly the Shadow Men turned from Elliot and swarmed toward Fudd. Elliot took off in the direction where Demon Territory looked darkest, although he didn't dare run too fast. Not only was he afraid the breeze would blow out the small, cold flame that danced on his hand, but it also didn't throw light very far ahead of him. The last thing he needed was to run into more gripping mud.

He ran until his lungs ached and then ran until worry made his lungs do little flips in his chest (which can really hurt, if you think about it). Fudd had said he wouldn't be able to give Elliot a lot of time to get away. But it had been a long time and Elliot still hadn't seen any more Shadow Men. Did that mean Fudd hadn't been able to poof away before they caught him?

Elliot made a promise to himself. If he, Fudd, Mr. Willimaker, and, yes, even Tubs, made it out of this alive, Elliot would never enter Demon Territory again. Not even if they put up the best theme park ever and let him come for free. Not even if they had the fastest, tallest roller coaster and no long lines. But...what if they also gave free cotton candy?

Elliot shook that thought out of his head. Now was not the time to think about cotton candy. That soft, sticky, sweet, chewy sugar rush. It was a good thing he wasn't thinking about it, because otherwise he wouldn't have noticed that his fire had burned out. And that the air around him was so black, it would have even put out a firefly's light (if a firefly were stupid enough to come in here).

Elliot froze, not sure where he was or where he should go next. About the only thing he was sure of was that the snores he now heard could only be coming from the most evil tonsils in the Underworld.

Somehow, Elliot had found Kovol.

Kovol wasn't awake. Or at least Elliot was pretty sure he wasn't awake yet. He'd never heard anyone snore when they were awake, and that was definitely snoring.

He thought back to the night when all of this had started, when Tubs's snoring had kept Elliot awake half the night. He sort of wished he hadn't complained about that snoring, because this was much, much worse.

Elliot figured he must be in some kind of cave, because the air moved whenever Kovol breathed. When he snorted air in, a cold wind blew from behind Elliot's back toward Kovol. And when Kovol exhaled, the foulest smell rushed at Elliot's face, like rotting, decomposing eggs.

Demon morning breath.

So Kovol was asleep, but he seemed to be rolling around a lot, as if he was restless. As if he knew a human was in this cave with him. He could wake up at any second.

Elliot kept one hand by his flashlight, ready to flip it on as soon as he had to. He knew he'd have to use it soon, because he couldn't find a sock and a hair without it, not in

this darkness. But he didn't want to turn it on too early and have the light wake up Kovol. He crept forward on tiptoes, testing every footstep before he put his full weight down. Snails moved faster than him, but he didn't care. He had only one chance at this.

With every step, he was closer to Kovol. He stopped every time the snoring stopped and it sounded as if Kovol rolled over. Then the snoring would begin again, and he'd continue forward. Once or twice it sounded as if Kovol had stopped breathing entirely for a second or two, but he always started again with his next snore.

Dear Reader, there is a condition known as sleep apnea in which a creature might stop breathing entirely for a second or two. This is not just for evil Demons. Several humans have it too. If you have this condition, you are lucky, because a doctor can treat it, and you'll be fine. Sadly, no doctor can help Kovol, mostly because Kovol would likely rip the doctor's arms off first. If you have a condition where you stop breathing for an hour or two rather than just a second or two, this is not sleep apnea. This means you're dead, and you should go see a doctor right away, even before you finish reading this book, no matter how exciting this chapter is.

After twenty steps, the snoring was so loud that Elliot was sure Kovol was within an arm's reach of him. He silently pulled out his flashlight and then put the lens inside his shirt so that when he turned it on, it would give off only dim light.

He flipped it on, then immediately turned the light toward his body. It was very bright. Bright like a miniature sun were inside it. Of course, Agatha had said it got its light from the sun. Elliot didn't understand how this flashlight worked, but magical tool design was hardly his biggest concern right now.

Even with the lens pressed against his skin, Elliot had enough light to see the dim outlines of Kovol's body. He was asleep but kept stretching and rolling over like he was trying to wake up. It must be hard to wake up when you've been asleep for a thousand years.

Kovol slept on a flat rock that seemed to have molded to his body while he slept. Like memory foam, but less comfortable. He was very tall, at least twice Elliot's height, maybe more. He was dressed with only a cloth around his waist and had leathery purple skin. His ears were long and pointed, and the horns on his head were gray, sharp, and twisted. His hands were gnarled with long fingers and fingernails that ended in spiked points. The skull of something that once might have been human was cuddled under his arm, like the Demon version of a teddy bear.

Elliot aimed the reflection of his light toward Kovol's feet. How could the Fairies possibly have wanted a sock? Anyone who looked like this, dressed like this, wasn't going to wear--oh, there they were. His socks.

Maybe sleeping in a cave for a thousand years gives a creature cold feet. Kovol's socks were long and thick, made of the skins of some animal Elliot didn't recognize.

Elliot stood as close as he dared to Kovol's feet and tried to ignore the stink that came from them. Maybe this was why his mother always told Elliot to sleep with his socks off, so he didn't have foot sweat at night.

Demon foot sweat was pretty awful. Like sticking your head into a garbage can full of old, rotten fruit that's been baking in the sun for a week.

Elliot stuffed the flashlight into his pants so that he could free both hands. He put his fingers on the sock closest to him and very slowly rolled it down Kovol's meaty leg, then over his shin, then--Kovol yawned, a wide yawn that reeked of moldy fish, and he turned over. His movement trapped the sock Elliot had been unrolling under Kovol's other leg.

Elliot made a "why me?" gesture with his hands. He'd made it this far with more problems than anyone deserved. Couldn't he get a break for once?

He pinched the new sock between his fingers. This one was already resting at Kovol's ankle, so he decided to pull it off from the evil Demon's toes, like pulling off a glove.

He pulled very slowly, pausing every time Kovol twitched or stopped snoring. After what seemed like hours, Elliot finally pulled the last of the sock off his foot. Even while asleep, Kovol must not have liked the feel of only one sock, because he pushed the remaining sock off with his big Demon toe.

Tags: Jennifer A. Nielsen Underworld Chronicles Fantasy
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