That was less helpful. Although just before Elliot was poofed to the Battle Zone, Tubs had given him some good advice: "If you can't beat him, just move around a lot until he gets tired of chasing you. I always hated it when you did that to me."
"Grissel doesn't need to chase me. Goblins scare you to death."
"But that only works if you're scared, right? Just think funny things and you'll be fine."
"Wow, Tubs," Elliot had said. "That's actually a good idea."
Tubs had stuck out his chest. "I'm smarter than all the kids in the whole first grade."
"But you're a seventh-grader."
"Duh." Tubs snorted. "I didn't say I was in their grade, I just said I'm smarter than them. And it is a good idea, so use it or else!"
Now Elliot waved at Tubs, who shook a fist back at him. Threatening to beat Elliot up if he didn't win was Tubs's style of cheering him on.
Fidget fluttered in from above them and landed in the center of the Battle Zone. For the time-out, she had chosen a bright yellow shirt with a hot pink skirt. She looked like she was dressed for a disco party. "Like, welcome to all Pixies, Goblins, and everyone else," she began, clearly forgetting that other than Tubs, "everyone else" was the Brownies. "We are so blown away by having a time-out today, which has totally not happened for over a hundred years."
A cheer rose from the Pixies. Not sure whether they should be celebrating this or not, the Goblins clapped a little, then lowered their hands when Grissel turned to glare at them. The Brownies remained silent.
Fidget continued, "So here are the rules. The time-out will last for ten minutes, because the awesomest stylist ever is coming to do my hair. If Grissel kills Elliot faster than that, it would be so radical, because then I'll have time to get my nails done too. If Elliot's still alive after the ten-minute time-out, he'll totally be my servant. Either way, Grissel goes free, and then he keeps his promise to me, and we'll, like, totally blow the Fairies to dust!" She forgot to mention what happened if Elliot survived. Maybe she didn't think there was any chance he would.
Both the Pixies and Goblins cheered loudly. The Brownies squirmed in their seats. Even they didn't expect Elliot to win.
"Happy thoughts, happy thoughts," Elliot mumbled. But his brain was in a fuzz. For some reason, all he could remember was the awful theme song to Fidget's favorite show, Surfer Teen.
Surfer Teen,
Awesomest kid on the scene.
Rockin' muscles lean and mean.
You're Surfer Teen.
"Like, when I say 'Time in,' then the battle begins," Fidget said.
"Happy thoughts," Elliot mumbled to the tune from Surfer Teen.
"Time in!" Fidget sliced her wand through the air, and sparks shot out from the end of it. The crowd cheered as she flew away and the battle began.
Grissel ran toward Elliot, but stopped in the center of the ring where Fidget had stood. With a low growl, he crouched on all fours. Elliot knew what was happening. He was preparing to scare Elliot to death.
Rockin' muscles lean and mean.
Grissel's bony skin began to bubble in rhythm.
Oddly, he bubbled to the rhythm of the lyrics stuck in Elliot's head.
Elliot started singing them: "You're Surfer Teen..."
As he sang, Elliot pictured Grissel as a surfer teen. Grissel on all fours on a surfboard. But Goblins hate water, so he'd have to balance on the surfboard so that no water splashed on him.
Maybe just because he was so tired, that the pictures he imagined seemed really funny. Funnier than Grissel was
scary, and Elliot was laughing hard before he even finished the lyrics.
Grissel growled at Elliot, arching his back even higher. It should have been scary, but for some reason it wasn't. Maybe Elliot was laughing too hard to be scared. Now he was picturing Grissel wearing a swimsuit with tropical flowers. And sunglasses--he'd have to wear sunglasses! Pink ones that matched his swimsuit. If a green-skinned Goblin gets a suntan, does he turn olive green? What color is a sunburn? Mud color?
Tears came to Elliot's eyes as he laughed. His stomach ached from laughter.