Elliot scrunched up his face. He wouldn't invite a whole herd of goats to share his bed, whether they'd fit in there or not. No matter how scared they were.
Minthred continued, "I was finally forced to leave the safety of my bed, mostly because my goats ate the blanket. I knew that to face the war I needed the courage that would only come from a tall cup of turnip juice with just a bit of goat spit in it."
Elliot smiled. The Brownies also loved turnip juice, although he didn't think they added any goat spit to theirs. At least, he hoped not. Ick! Then he kept reading.
"But when I came to the battle, the Demon Kovol saw my drink. He smelled the turnip juice and roared that he was thirsty. His roar was so loud that all the earwax popped from my ears and fell into the cup. I dropped it and ran for my life. Kovol picked up the cup and drank it. All I know is that after drinking, he fell to the ground, fast asleep. The creatures cheered for me and said that I must be the finest of all wizards. They were so happy, I couldn't tell them I was only a simple goat herder, and that I had no idea why Kovol fell asleep."
And that was it. The last of the entry. The secret page that the Elves believed contained some all-powerful plan to defeat Kovol. What would they think if they knew that page had been written by some goat herder whose only magical power seemed to be the gift of producing an extreme amount of earwax?
Elliot slammed the book shut and then called for--how did he pronounce that again? Not Toe Jam. Maybe he could just call the Elf by his first name. Was it Slimy? Elliot groaned. If he couldn't remember the Elf's name, how could he possibly call him to come back and return Elliot to Burrowsville?
Elliot waited in the tree for a moment before someone finally poofed up to see him. Only it wasn't the Elf.
It was Fidget, carrying a mirror in one hand and her wand in the other. She briefly glanced at him before returning to study herself in the mirror. "We're about to fight a war, and you're up here reading?" she asked.
He looked at the book. "The Elves gave it to me. But it wasn't very helpful."
"I could've told you that!" Fidget said.
"Why? Have you read it?"
Fidget scrunched up her nose. "Hello? Does it look like I read totally boring, thousand-year-old books?"
"I didn't think you read any books at all," Elliot said.
Fidget rapped him on the head with her wand for that, then said, "I happen to read the awesome magazine Totally Awesome Teen, and it is totally awesome. Your book is obviously a waste of time, because if it had anything important to say, Minthred would have covered it in pink glitter!"
She touched her wand to the book, which disappeared from his hands. "Hey!" he said.
"I sent it safely under your pillow at home. If you want to be bored, then read it there." Her eyes flicked up and down Elliot's body in disapproval. "You totally don't look like someone ready to lead an Underworld war," she said. "I mean, half your shirt is burned. And there's stuff on your shoulder that turned your skin green."
It was the paste that Patches had put on his burn from the Shadow Man. But Elliot wasn't in the mood to explain that to a Pixie princess. Actually, he didn't want to explain to anyone why his skin was green.
"Go away," he said. "I'm waiting for that Elf who brought me here. Do...do you remember his name?"
"It's Slimmy Tojam." Fidget closed one eye to magically dab a little color on the lid with her wand. Then a draft of wind tossed her up in the air, and she poked herself in the eye. Her eye turned pink, the color she had planned to put on her lid. "Ow!" she said. Then she did a quick check in the mirror. "Oh, groovy! I look so awesome."
"What about Mr. Tojam?" Elliot said.
"Oh. He's not coming back."
"Why not?"
She sighed. "Obviously, I sent him away. You'll have to get back to Burrowsville on your own."
"I can't--"
"Sure you can." Fidget lowered her mirror. "Do I have to explain everything to you, human?"
Elliot rolled his eyes. "You haven't explained anything to me."
"Oh, that's right." Fidget giggled and turned almost as pink as her eye. "How totally embarrassing! Well, here's the TBNN--totally brand-new news. It's the awesomest news you've probably ever had." Her tiny nose wrinkled. "Well, let's be honest. You probably don't get a lot of awesome news. I mean, your family doesn't even have enough money to give you a shirt without a hole in the armpit. And you've had a bully for almost as long as you've been alive. And you're king of the Brownies, who are, like, the lamest creatures ever when it comes to styling their hair. So I could probably tell you anything, and it would still be better than your usual news."
Elliot was tired of this. "What's the news, Fidget?"
She huffed. "Well, if you are going to lead us through this Underworld war, then the Pixies will help. And we thought, what is the awesomest thing we could do for you?" Her face brightened. "I'm the one who thought of this idea! I'm so proud of me." Then for no clear reason, she playfully punched Elliot in the arm, which hurt a lot, considering that her whole body was only the size of his arm. "How lucky are you that we're friends?"
"Obviously, the luckiest kid in the universe," Elliot muttered. "Now, what's the news?"