My need to talk to him wins out, and I head down the hall to his room. I can hear the shower running from outside the door. A smile forms on my lips. I can join him and then talk to him. But when I open the door, joining him is the last thing on my mind. Because laying in his bed is Amaya. Her fiery red hair is fanned out across his pillow. And she’s naked. My heart feels like it’s just been ripped out of my chest. The bathroom door opens and out walks Jase in nothing but a towel around his waist—his full focus on Amaya. Because of the location of the doors, he can’t see me standing here. He can’t see my heart breaking into a million pieces.
I want to yell at him for leading me on, making me believe we were something more. I want to scream at him for fucking his best friend only hours after making love to me. I want to curse him for not loving me the way I’ve fallen in love with him. But I don’t do any of it. I followed my heart and this is where it led me to. Reality. Smacking me right in the face. I was stupid to ever consider for a second I should choose a man over my future. That I should listen to my heart instead of my head.
I watch as Jase gently pulls the blanket over Amaya’s naked body, and then pushes several wayward strands of hair out of her face. Unable to be here for another second, I back away from the door and run away as fast as my feet will carry me. I lock the door behind me and put the key back under the mat.
I go back to my house. My mom is already asleep, and I don’t wake her up. Instead, I call for a taxi and write her an apology note. Because tomorrow when she wakes up, I won’t be here. Not at my graduation, or at the celebration. I’ll be in New York. But my heart, it will still be in pieces right outside Jase’s bedroom door. Because like my mom said: You can’t help who your heart loves. And my stupid heart loves a man who doesn’t love me back.
Five
Celeste
The Present
“If I gain much more weight before this wedding, I’m going to have to buy a new dress.” Olivia pats her growing belly and giggles. “I don’t know how much more the seamstress can stretch the fabric.” We’ve just finished having dinner and are heading over to the valet so they can bring Olivia’s car around. Over the last several months, weekly lunches-slash-dinners have somehow become a thing. It was hard at first to accept Olivia’s and Giselle’s friendship. I’ve never been the kind of girl to have friends—aside from Nick—but these two women have grown on me, and now, I actually find myself looking forward to us meeting up.
“It’s because you’re having a girl,” Giselle says. “They carry high, making you look fatter.”
“Wait.” I stop in the middle of the sidewalk. “You didn’t tell me you’re having a girl. So she finally cooperated?”
Olivia blushes. “Yes! She spread her legs during the ultrasound!” She giggles. “We actually just found out yesterday. We were planning to announce it at brunch this weekend.”
“Congratulations!” I give Olivia a hug. “She’s going to be the most spoiled little girl to ever walk this earth. How’s Nick doing with the news?”
“He’s freaking out,” she says, handing the valet her slip. “Having a boy is one thing. A girl is apparently a whole other story. He’s already planning all the ways to keep her locked up once she becomes a teenager.”
I laugh at that. “That doesn’t surprise me. He’s probably thinking of all the women he slept with in his younger years.” I flinch the second the words leave my mouth, and Giselle cackles. I’m obviously still getting used to this whole friendship thing. “Shit! What I meant was…well…I mean…”
Olivia laughs, once again proving how understanding and sweet she is. “I know what you meant. And you aren’t wrong.”
“Do you also know what you’re having?” I ask Giselle, giving her a don’t lie to me look.
“I do!” she squeals. “We’re also having a girl.”
“Oh my God!” I give her a hug. “I’m going to need to make a baby clothing line just to spoil all these babies!”
The three of us are laughing when Olivia says, “Hey, isn’t that Jase?” My eyes follow her line of vision, and sure enough, Jase is standing on the sidewalk hailing a cab.
My mind goes back to a few months ago when I ran into him on Giselle’s birthday at the tattoo shop. I never imagined in a million years I would ever see him again, let alone in the same city I’m living in. It’s been well over a decade since I last saw him. Since I saw Amaya in his bed and him in nothing but a towel. I wish I could say the years have been bad to him, but that would be a lie. Jase looks nearly the same as he did all those years ago. The main difference being, he now looks less like a boy and more like a man. He’s filled out, his muscles now more defined. His skin dons several new tattoos, and his face looks harder. No less beautiful. Just more guarded.