Going Deep (Imperfect Love 2) - Page 78

“I have a few personal days left I can use,” she says. “Let’s do it.”

“And when we get back, we’ll figure out your financial situation,” I add.

She nods, but her smile loses its brightness. “Okay,” she agrees.

Twenty-Four

Giselle

“This was my locker.” Killian points to the half-rusted metal rectangle. His face lights up like it’s a box that once held all of his hopes and dreams. “And this is where my coach told me I had a shot at playing in the NFL.” He walks us over to a tiny office with a big smile. On our way here, he mentioned this is his first time showing a woman around where he went to school. I love that I get to be that woman. He knows so much about me, and I love every time I learn more about what makes Killian who he is.

After speaking with Lydia, who assured me she was okay with me taking a few personal days—after I promised to work remotely—we took an early flight out of JFK to Charlotte. We’re going to check into our hotel this afternoon, and Killian has spoken to Melanie, who has agreed to meet him for dinner this evening. Tomorrow, the plan is to spend the day with his parents. But this morning, Killian is showing me some of his favorite spots, starting with the University of North Carolina. We’ve seen the football field, the cafeteria, and he even convinced the kid currently residing in his old dorm to let him show me around. Of course, once the kid recognized Killian as one of the wide receivers for the New York Brewers, he practically gave him the room. Right now, we’re currently standing in a smelly locker room he’s showing me around.

While I’d rather not be in here, where it’s clear football players aren’t aware of the benefits of deodorant, the prideful look on his face and the twinkle in his eye as he speaks makes it all worth it.

We spend the next hour catching up with his old coaches. They share some funny stories of Killian as a college football player. A few of the players are in the locker room for a Saturday practice, so Killian talks to them about working hard and making sure to take school seriously. I learn Killian has a business degree, and had he not made it into the NFL, he planned to get his MBA. When Killian tells them we need to get going, his old coaches make us promise not to be strangers.

“New York is where you were drafted to?” I ask as we walk out of the locker room and head to our rental car. North Carolina is so different from NYC. It’s quiet, low-key, and people are actually friendly. It’s hard to imagine Killian being happy here and then moving to New York.

“Yep, I’ve been there for ten years.” He opens my door for me and I get in.

Once he’s inside, I ask, “Do you think you will retire in New York?”

“Yeah,” he says. “At this point in my career, if they made the decision to trade me, I would retire before I would move.”

“Even if it meant not playing?” I ask, curiously.

“Most wide receivers retire by the age of thirty. I’m almost thirty-two. I’ve had a damn good career. I’ve even won a Super Bowl, something most can’t say. Every year I play now is just a bonus.” He glances over at me and his hand goes to my jean-clad thigh, squeezing it gently.

“Kind of ironic,” I say, “you’re at an age of retirement and I’m still trying to get a real job in my chosen profession.” I laugh.

“You’ll get there, Giselle. You’re hard-working and motivated.”

“I know, it just seems like we’re at different points in our lives.” I’m not sure why I say that. Even to my own ears I can hear doubt creeping in. The differences between us. Wondering how this is all going to work. Maybe it’s knowing he’s going to meet with Melanie today. Maybe I’m scared that once he sees her and gets his closure, he’ll question why he’s with me. He asked to be broken and lonely with me, but what happens once he’s healed? When he’s no longer broken? Will he still want me when he’s fixed and whole and perfect while I’m still damaged?

“Look at the bright side, when we have kids, I can be a stay-at-home dad.” He winks flirtatiously, and my stomach does some weird flip-flop thing at the thought of having kids with Killian, and then it sinks like a body in a lake being tied down by a heavy stone. My breaths turn labored, and then Killian’s eyes land on me.

“Shit, Giselle. I’m sorry!” Killian realizes his slip. “It was meant as a joke. Fuck. It just came out.”

Tags: Nikki Ash Imperfect Love Romance
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