“You can’t afford this,” I argued.
He cocked his head to the side. “Yeah, babe, I can. Now get your ass out of my truck and go look at that Tahoe. They’re bringing it around now.”
Okay. Fine. I would look at it. But he was not buying it for me. For Micah. This was ridiculous.
* * *
An hour later I drove my new Chevy Tahoe off the lot and was completely in love. It had everything. Even a sunroof. The radio worked and it had seat warmers. Micah was going to be giddy with excitement over the television that flipped down from the ceiling.
When I had finally given in and admitted to loving the Tahoe, Dewayne had grinned like a little boy on Christmas morning. He had been happy about it. How he was happy about dropping this kind of money on someone made no sense. I was stressing out over the price, but Dewayne assured me that he had the money and could pay cash. That he wanted to do this.
The title would be sent to me with my name on it in a few weeks. I owned this Tahoe. I could drive it for at least the next ten years. The relief made me want to weep. I owned a house and a safe, dependable car now. It made me feel humbled. I had never expected this. Ever.
I glanced in my rearview mirror and watched as Dewayne turned left at the red light, headed to wherever he lived. I had never seen his place. I doubted I ever would unless Micah went there to visit him.
The idea made me sad. I wanted to know what Dewayne’s house looked like. I wanted to see his world. His life. But I wasn’t ever going to get that privilege. He had made sure I understood that.
I pulled into my driveway, and the front door flew open as Micah came running out with a huge grin on his face. Tabby stood in my doorway, beaming. Dewayne must have called her.
I opened the door, and Micah jumped up in my arms. “Dewayne bought us this? For real? It’s awesome!”
I nodded and blinked away the tears in my eyes. It was awesome.
“It even has a television,” I told him, letting him crawl inside to inspect it.
Tabby walked up, wiping her tears and grinning. “He’s a good man. He just doesn’t realize it. He doubts himself, but my boy is as good as they come. Always has had a heart of gold. Just need him to wake up and see that.”
“This is too much. I can’t believe he bought this. I’m in awe, and I feel guilty for letting him,” I admitted.
She laughed. “Girl, you didn’t have a choice. Once Dewayne decides he wants to do something, then you’re sunk. He’s gonna do it. And he wanted you and Micah to have a safe vehicle. Besides, if he saw how much fun Micah was having checking it out, he might go buy him another one.”
She was right. Dewayne was a good man. Much better than he let himself believe. Was it possible that he needed someone to show him that he was special? Was that it? No woman had ever tried to make him see how wonderful he was inside. Could I?
DEWAYNE
I had finished loading my dishwasher and was headed to the shower when a knock on the door stopped me. I turned and went to open it. Sienna stood there holding a cake box and wore a nervous smile. I was not expecting to see her at my door.
“Hey. Uh, Micah and I made you something. He loved the Tahoe. I had to force him to get out of it. He wanted to stay in it and watch a movie tonight.”
That made me smile. We would have to take a road trip in it soon so he could watch his movie. “I’m glad he approves,” I said, then stepped back to let her inside.
She looked around, and I could see the surprise on her face that it was clean. I didn’t do well with messy shit. I liked my stuff put away. It was one reason I didn’t do roommates. I’d tried that once and almost threw Preston’s crap out the window and into the parking lot one day, I’d gotten so sick of it.
“Your mom told Micah you like chocolate. So we made you a chocolate cake. The icing was Micah’s job, so it’s creative,” she said.
I took the box from her hands and nodded toward the kitchen. “Come on,” I told her.
I needed to set the cake down and decide how I liked having her in my space. I had imagined her here before, but then, those fantasies normally took place with her na**d in my bed or shower. Once she’d even been bent over my couch.
“You’re really clean. I don’t think I expected that,” she said, looking around.
I shrugged. “Don’t like things messy. Never have. Well, some things I like to get messy with.” I shouldn’t have gone there. Not with her here in my place alone. I wanted things, and thinking about doing messy things with her was too damn tempting.
“Oh,” she said, blushing, and looked away from me. The pink in her cheeks always was one of my favorite things to see. That and her smile. Her eyes always twinkled in a way that could make everything else okay.
“When you look at me like that, it makes me forget that you just want to f**k me one time and nothing more.” Her words came out of nowhere, and hearing her say “fuck” didn’t help me.
“It’s hard not to look at you,” I admitted. “Always has been.”
Sienna let out a nervous laugh. “Well, it’s always been hard not to look at you, too. So I guess we both have a problem. If we slept together, I’d want more of it. Once would never be enough. One kiss wasn’t enough. I don’t think I could ever get my fill.”
What the hell . . . ?
Sienna was just laying it out there. Why? I’d told her that I couldn’t be what she wanted. I had tried to hold her at arm’s length, so why would she walk into my apartment and tell me she could never get enough of me? That was brave. Unbelievably so. It was time I admitted the truth too.
“If I get a taste of what it feels like to be inside you, I won’t be able to stop. Ever. I’ve been addicted to you since I was seventeen years old. I fought it because you were my brother’s. Then I fought it because I wasn’t worthy of you. It’s my fault he wrapped his car around that tree that night. I’d threatened him, and he was drunk and ran off.”
I couldn’t tell her the rest. That I had been mad that he had gotten Kimmy pregnant and had been cheating on Sienna for over a year. I never wanted her to know that. Ever.
“Dustin made his own mistakes,” she replied. “He chose to drink and party, and he chose to drive his car when he shouldn’t have. I begged him not to drink, but he always laughed me off, saying he was only having fun and wasn’t hurting anyone. I let myself believe him. But in the end Dustin made the reckless decision that took his life. He missed out on knowing our son. He missed out on his future as a star. He missed out on so much. But it was no one’s fault but his. I blamed myself for so long, but I know now that he made that decision. Not me. And not you.”
No one had ever told me that. I knew it was true, but no one had ever said those words to me. Still, I knew what I’d said to Dustin to send him racing back to Sienna in a panic. He was worried I was going to tell her what he was doing. He wanted to stop me. I’d never imagined he would get behind the wheel.
“I loved him. I miss him every damn day,” I said, gripping the edge of the countertop. I never talked about Dustin like this. It hurt too much.
“I loved him too. He was my best friend. He gave me the greatest gift on earth before he left me. I have Micah.”
I wanted her memories of Dustin to remain intact. I owed my brother that much. Because I wasn’t staying away from her anymore. She was right—Dustin had made his own decisions, and he hadn’t cherished what he had. I would. I’d been cherishing her from afar for so damn long.
“Stay. Eat some cake with me,” I said, not wanting her to leave. “Where’s Micah?”
“Your parents’,” she replied.
“Can you stay the night?”
Her eyes went wide, and she took a deep breath. Then she nodded. “Yes.”
I shoved away from the counter. “Sienna.”
“Yes,” she replied a little breathlessly as I closed the space between us.
“Can we eat the cake later? Much later? Like for breakfast?”
She nodded again just before my mouth captured hers.
SIENNA
He was everywhere all at once. My head was spinning, and if he hadn’t backed me up against the wall, I would have crumpled to the ground. It was overwhelming and thrilling.
Dewayne sucked on my bottom lip before trailing kisses across my jaw, then settled in to torture the spot behind my ear. “Wanted to do this for so long,” he whispered against my skin. “This one spot. All over. Fuck, Sienna, I don’t know if I can go slow. I want to so much, but right now I just wanna be inside you.”
I wanted Dewayne any way I could have him. Knowing that he wanted more with me than one night and that he wanted this made me willing to grant his every wish. “We have all night,” I told him.
Then I was off the ground, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked me through a door off to the side of the kitchen and straight to a king-size bed in the middle of the room. “Naked and on my bed. Fucking want that. Now,” he said, jerking his shirt off and tossing it away. He reached for my shirt, and I raised my hands willingly and let him pull it off me. His eyes looked like they had caught fire when he took in the sight of me in my bra.
“Take it off. I want to watch,” he said, not looking away from my chest.
I unhooked the back clasp and let my bra fall forward. Then I pulled it off my arms and moved it aside. I didn’t care where it ended up. I just cared about the look of hunger on Dewayne’s face, and knowing it was me he was looking at like that.
It sounded like he muttered something like “magic tits,” but I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right. His hands were on the waistband of my shorts and tugging them down, so all thoughts of his muttering left me. I had only been completely na**d with one man, and he had been a boy. He had also never taken his time with me like this. Or looked at me like he was in awe.
Dewayne knelt down in front of me and pushed my knees apart. I sucked in a breath as he kissed my knee and looked up at me through hooded eyes. “I love these red curls. So f**king hot.”
Oh my.
“Lay back, Sienna. And keep these legs open for me,” he said as he stood up and unzipped his jeans. I wanted to watch him shove those jeans down, but I did as he asked, trying hard to see him. I had fantasized about all of him for a long time too.
“I’m gonna have to taste you first. I want inside you, baby, but I gotta kiss this,” he said as his hand cupped me between the legs. I was exposed, and I should have felt vulnerable. But it was Dewayne. It felt right. It was exciting.
Dewayne lowered himself to his knees and picked up my right foot, then kissed it before putting my leg over his shoulder. Then he did the same with the left. The warmth of his breath was so close I shivered.
“Smell like the f**king candy store,” he said just before his tongue slid against me. The sensation was amazing. I cried out and reached for something. I ended up with handfuls of the blanket underneath me.
With each stroke of his tongue my body bucked, and tremors of pleasure coursed through me.
“Dewayne,” I whimpered as the intensity got to be too much. I was so close to something I’d only had with myself, alone in my room.
“You close?” he asked, lifting his head. His tongue came out to lick his lips, and nothing in my life had ever been as sexy as that man.
“Yes,” I replied, breathless.
He bent his head, then pressed a kiss to the sensitive spot that always needed the most attention, and I moaned, unable to keep quiet. This was all more than I had ever expected.
Then he stood up, and the solid, muscled body covered in colorful tattoos was there on display. I was so close to an orgasm that just seeing him like this almost sent me over the edge. Every hard line of his body was beautiful. I wanted to touch him everywhere. Then my eyes dropped and went wide with sudden panic. I wasn’t an expert on penis size since I had only been with a sixteen-year-old boy, but that was big. Maybe too big. Sex had always been uncomfortable with Dustin, and sometimes hurt. He said it was because he was too big and I was too tight, but that . . . Oh no.
“Much as I like you looking, I’m not feeling very patient right now,” he said before lowering himself over me. “God, you’re perfect,” he said, then kissed the tip of one of my breasts.
He wasn’t going to think I was perfect when he didn’t fit inside me. Or when I was screaming in pain and begging him to stop. This was what I had wanted for so long, and now I was positive it wasn’t going to happen. I tensed and closed my eyes, praying that I didn’t embarrass myself and do something like cry. If I could just suffer through the pain . . . I would do anything for Dewayne. I just hoped I could do it quietly.
“Sienna?” Dewayne’s voice was concerned. Of course it was. I was acting like an idiot and he hadn’t even tried to get inside me yet.