“No.” She waved her hands and took a step back. “I will still give you full access with the baby but not with me. That’s over.”
“Because I tried to keep you safe?” His voice rose in disbelief.
“Because you cast me off the first chance you got.” She glared at him as the hurt shimmered from her eyes. “Because you disregarded my fears in favor of yours.”
“That’s not what happened.” Or had it? He remembered her pleas when he had sent her away. He had wanted to give in and hold her in his arms, but he had known he had to stay strong. This time he hadn’t been able to let her have her way.
“Do you think I felt safe when I was sent away and I didn’t know for how long?” Her bright red lips trembled. “Am I supposed to feel some sort of security when I’m isolated and I don’t hear from you?”
“I didn’t call you right away because of security reasons. I didn’t want you to be located. And then when I tried to contact you I couldn’t reach you.”
She hastily wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’ve heard every excuse when my parents didn’t stay in contact with me, but that’s a new one.”
He splayed his hands out as the anger and frustration billowed inside him. “Do you think I wanted to stay away from you?”
“Yes.”
The simple word was like a punch in the stomach. How could she believe that?
“I made the most difficult decision to let you go,” he said gruffly. “I didn’t know how long it would be until I saw you. I denied myself the pleasure of watching our child grow strong inside you. I knew it was a possibility that I would miss every milestone of this pregnancy and very possibly the birth. But I made that choice because I needed to keep you safe.”
“But you didn’t allow me a choice,” she argued, her eyes flashing with fire. “You didn’t give me any information or time to make a decision.”
“The less you knew about the threats—”
“No, you don’t get to say that. You made these decisions because you knew you had power over me. I have rarely refused you anything and that is my fault. I settled for commitment over love and this is where it got me.” A tear tracked down her cheek. “Alone and abandoned.”
He was suddenly in front of her. “Jodie,” he said in a ragged breath as he reached out and rubbed the tear away. Her pain was ripping him apart. He had hurt her without realizing it. He did this. And he didn’t know how to fix it.
“I trusted you but you took advantage of the love I have for you.” More tears spilled over her lashes. “You know my history. You know how miserable I was having no family connection, hating how I was forgotten and invisible. And yet you did the same to me as my parents.”
“It’s not the same,” he said as he cupped her face between his hands.
“Why did your fears take precedence over mine?” she whispered.
“The situation was urgent and—”
She pulled away from him. “The situation is always going to be urgent. Each separation will be temporary. That is, until it becomes routine. And eventually, I will be living away, alone and forgotten, because I had put my trust in you.”
“I won’t let that happen,” he promised. Stergios needed another chance to prove that he was worthy of her trust.
“It won’t happen because I’m not going to give you that power again. I won’t allow you to decide my fate.” She rubbed her hands over her face and rolled her shoulders back before she took a deep breath. “I will not marry you. We are co-parents and that’s it. That’s all you wanted, anyway.”
“I want more,” he said gruffly. “I want it all.”
Her mouth twisted into a bitter smile. “So did I. It didn’t work out. Goodbye, Stergios,” she said with a hitch in her voice.
The cold fear threatened to break him. Jodie was giving up on him. On them. He couldn’t let that happen. “No, I’m staying here.”
“Why now?” she asked tearfully. “Why not when I wanted you with me? Never mind. It doesn’t matter anymore.” She dismissed her questions with the wave of her hand. “New York City is big enough for the both of us.”
“I’m staying here with you in your apartment.”
She bristled at his commanding tone. “No, you’re not!”
“We’re co-parents, remember? You won’t deny me access to my child.” He sounded more confident than he felt. Stergios knew he was taking a big gamble. Jodie could strike back by keeping him away during the rest of her pregnancy. But he didn’t think she would do that, no matter how hurt and angry she was with him. It was more important to her that their child had a strong bond with both parents.