And on the table, an unending array of mouthwatering dishes beckoned.
Azeez stood in the darkened corner of the room, and yet she felt his gaze on her, as though he had touched her.
“Hello, Nikhat.”
Running a hand over her midriff, Nikhat nodded. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, pinned to the spot by the energy instantly crackling in the air around them.
They hadn’t seen each other since they had returned from the desert four days ago. She had no idea who was avoiding whom, or maybe they both were.
She had thought she would take the plunge and taste paradise for one night. What she hadn’t realized was how hard it would be to have tasted it once and then having to live with the fact that it would never be hers again. A fierce need to leave a mark on him, that’s what she had wanted. Instead, she felt as if she was the one who had walked away scarred, again.
She startled and turned as she heard Princess Zohra behind her. Greeting her with a nod, she walked back toward the entrance, realizing the significance of the occasion. Of course, the princess would want to celebrate.
Holding the wave of emotion threatening to pull her under, Nikhat was about to leave when the princess stopped her. “I had the servants invite you on purpose, Nikhat. My family is not with me and you have—” she flicked a knowing look toward Azeez, and Nikhat could only be thankful he didn’t notice “—brought peace of mind to me in more than one way.”
Her stomach twisting, Nikhat wet her lips. “I do not belong at this dinner.”
Before Nikhat could leave, Ayaan entered the hall.
Unable to excuse herself, Nikhat took the seat next to Azeez. His gaze took in her shaking hands, and she clasped them rigidly in her lap, wishing herself anywhere but here.
“You’re shaking. Are you in pain again?”
She shook her head. Ayaan dismissed everyone else, even the waiting servants. His hands on her chair, he leaned down and took Princess Zohra’s mouth in a kiss that sent heat rushing to Nikhat’s cheeks.
Next to her, Azeez leaned back into his seat, stretching his right leg. “Do you wish us to leave, Ayaan?” There was more than a hint of teasing in his voice and Nikhat instinctively turned.
He was grinning, and the joy in his face momentarily wiped everything else from her mind.
Leaning over the chair, his arm still around Princess Zohra’s, Ayaan smiled at Azeez. “We are celebrating and…we would like you to be part of it. Zohra had an ultrasound scan today.” He nodded at Nikhat. “We’re having twin boys.”
Nikhat wanted to look away and yet she devoured every expression, every nuance in Azeez’s face.
He became very still in contrast to the restless energy that poured off him; even the air around him seemed to hang in suspension. Slowly, he blinked, as though coming out of a deep fog.
His gaze caught hers for an infinitesimal second and the flash of something in it left Nikhat shaken to the core. She felt unbearably frozen inside. And she fought the feeling.
She had enough to feel guilty about, enough things that she couldn’t change about herself. She didn’t want the burden of his disappointment, the burden of his lost dreams.
Her hands gripped the hard wood at her sides and still, she could not look away.
Finally, when he recovered, it felt like a lifetime even if it had been nothing but a few seconds. When he looked at Ayaan, there was nothing but undiluted happiness there. “It is cause for celebration.” He cleared his throat. “The future king of Dahaar is going to be born,” he said with such pride, such joy, that tears rose to her eyes.
Why it should hurt so much after all these years, why it twisted her stomach in such pure agony, Nikhat couldn’t say. She had delivered babies, she saw pregnant women on a daily basis and yet, this time, she couldn’t stave off the pain no matter what she did.
Azeez walked to Ayaan and clapped him on the back. “You are a prayer come true, Princess Zohra.” His breath hitched on the words as he pulled the princess out of her chair and enveloped her in a fierce hug that had the princess staring at him with shock filling her beautiful eyes. “For Dahaar, for my family, but most of all, my brother. Even the doctor has to agree that this calls for a drink,” he said, throwing a look at Nikhat.
Nikhat nodded, her heart in her throat, her vision full of unshed tears. She forced herself to congratulate Ayaan, forced herself to smile even as her heart shattered in her breast again.
Pain sliced through her and she gasped for breath. How could this pain be as sharp as ever? How had she found herself in this moment again?
She felt Azeez’s continued scrutiny, his puzzled look at her petrified silence over the next hour, but there was nothing she could do. Every moment of the royal family’s happiness sent piercing pain through her and she sat through it all, wishing herself anywhere else in the world, yet bound to him, more by her own heart than any promise she had made.