“I know you’re not happy with this alliance, Zohra. But I never doubted that you would do your duty.”
There it was, that word again. It had broken her family apart, it had thrust her into an unknown world, and it had taken the life of her mother, who had done nothing but pine after the man she had loved.
She stood up from the divan and met his gaze. “I’m doing this for Saira and Wasim. I don’t want Saira to be sacrificed in the name of duty, too.”
He ventured into the room, and she braced herself for the impact of his presence. In the eleven years that she had lived in Siyaad, she had always stayed out of his way, made sure she spent the least amount of time with him.
“Is that what this marriage is to you? Can you not view it as anything else but sacrifice?”
“What else could it be? You didn’t ask me if I wanted this. That man,” she said, pointing her finger toward the screen, “didn’t ask me if I wanted to be his wife. You have reduced my life to an addendum clause on a treaty.”
His jaw tightened. “You will be the future queen of Dahaar, a woman who can have just as much power as she wants in the tri-nation region. Your education, your intelligence, they can be used to do good in Dahaar, Zuran and Siyaad, to pave way for new things, to change old ways, ways you have always called archaic. No one will ever dare question your right to rule along with Prince Ayaan. You will live the rest of your life with the utmost—”
“This alliance is nothing but a way to secure Siyaad’s future.”
He nodded, sudden exhaustion seeping into his face. “I am glad that Saira and Wasim mean something to you.” Unlike me, the words hovered in the air between them. “That means you will at least keep an eye on them.”
Zohra refused to feel guilty, refused to let him put her in the wrong when he had made an irrevocable decision all those years ago, when he continued to show again and again that Siyaad would always come first with him. “They are my family. I will do anything for them,” she said, forcing herself to speak the words. “They are the only reason I’ve stayed—”
“In Siyaad all these years, I know.”
The knot in her throat cut off her breath. She held herself absolutely still as he neared her, her gut twisting on itself. The sandalwood scent of him knocked her sideways, unlocking memories she had forcibly buried. Maybe if he had always been an absentee father, maybe if she didn’t remember her mother’s desolation, her own aching grief when she had been told one fine morning that her father was dead...
Only to learn after her mother had died that he had just walked away from them to take up the crown of Siyaad, that he had already had a wife.
His whole life with her mother and her had been a lie.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and the longing she fought broke free. But she couldn’t let it out. If she did, it would hurt her like nothing else could. So she turned the emotion engulfing her into a bitterness that had already festered for so long.
“I always wondered why you took custody of me when mom died instead of sending me to her brother. Living in Siyaad all these years, being a daughter, a bastard at that, I realized I have no consequence for you, no importance in your life. But now... Is this why? You knew I would come in handy for one of your many obligations toward your country?”
His mouth compressed into a tight line, a flash of anger in his gaze now. “When will you realize that Siyaad is just as much a part of you as it is of me?”
“Not in this lifetime.”
Resignation settled over his features. And suddenly, he was the man who had had two heart attacks in the space of six months. “Whatever I say is immaterial because you’ve already decided the answer.”
He clasped her cheek with his palm, his gaze drinking in every feature, every nuance in her expression. He is remembering my mom. Zohra knew that as clearly as if he had said her name out loud. Ever since he had suddenly reappeared in her life when she had been thirteen and dragged her to Siyaad, she had always understood one thing.
He had loved her mother just as much as her mother had loved him. And yet, he had walked out of their lives and put duty first.
“Ever since you were a little girl, you’ve always been stubborn. Incredibly strong but also stubborn.
“You’ve always decided your own fate, Zohra. You decided why I had left without ever asking me. You decided to hate your stepmother when you came to live in Siyaad, even though she had been nothing but kind to you. You decided you would have nothing to do with Siyaad or your heritage.
“You decided to love your half brother and half sister, you decided to stay in Siyaad for them when you turned eighteen. No one has or will ever tell you how to live your life.