He’d shown me a side of himself I would never have met thanks to his past.
He made me beg for a way to help him, to keep him alive instead of wish for his death.
Unfortunately, the sweet version of Kas didn’t last long. He stayed with me long enough for me to bandage his broken arm, eat some snow peas, corn on the cob, and inhale one of my rapidly dwindling chocolate bars before he fell asleep again.
I kept my distance after that.
For personal safety, I fashioned a rope cuff and tied it around his ankle, tethering him to the same heavy couch leg. It wouldn’t hold him if he had full faculties but in the brief moments of lucidity, it would stop him from leaving or hurting me.
I needed to know he’d stay in the library.
My nerves were too frazzled to think of him stalking around the house in his current, unstable condition.
While he slept, I pushed the kiss out of my mind and studied the medical books until my eyes felt as if a thousand papercuts had replaced my retinas, then fell asleep in my nook of the library. Wrapped in a blanket, I slept with my hand on my knife, just in case.
On the seventh day, I’d left Kas sleeping fitfully, crying out occasionally, speaking the names of people he loved with such longing and reverence. Normally, if he dreamed of them, he’d wake in a foul mood. He’d threaten me, then snap into subservience. He’d war between two sides of himself—the protective brother who would do anything to save his siblings and the aggressive loner who’d been abandoned for a decade.
He was dangerous.
An enigma of wanting to hurt me all while bowing at my feet like I truly was his new master.
After our kiss and the constant stress of the past week, I didn’t know how much more of this I could take.
My brother would’ve lost his head by now. My mother would be worried sick. My fans would’ve sent snooty emails asking why I hadn’t posted a video in so long.
My entire existence was on pause, and I was exhausted.
Past exhausted.
I’m wrecked.
Needing to move on the eighth day, I explored the veggie garden again, ignoring the empty spots where I’d dug up food that’d fed Kas and me over the past week.
When I’d first arrived, I hadn’t appreciated the random food Kas had provided. I’d found his offerings primitive and lacking. No seasoning. No cohesiveness.
Now, I understood it was all he had.
He painstakingly planted, nourished, and harvested every morsel he ate.
The rows upon rows of produce were every wealth he owned. There was no other food in the entire mansion. I knew. I’d looked. It made my respect for him billow. The fierceness of his will to survive was awe-inspiring.
However, it also layered me with a thousand more questions.
From his bursts of awakeness, I’d gathered he’d been a prisoner here, along with the other poor souls he’d mentioned. He’d killed the people keeping them in hell. He’d saved his family.
But if he’d managed to overthrow those who oppressed him, then why was he still here? Why was he alone? Why had his supposed precious family left him?
Those questions kept me company as I patroled the huge house and hunted for my personal locator beacon and phone for the hundredth time. The first day I’d tried looking for it, I’d opened every drawer, cupboard, and basket. I’d tried to put myself in Kas’s shoes and imagine where I would hide two pieces of technology I didn’t understand after smashing them into pieces.
Would he have kept them or thrown them away?
And even if he had thrown them away, they would still be around here somewhere. It wasn’t as if there were trash services to take waste away. No recycling truck appeared each Friday.
The first few times of searching and being unsuccessful had driven me to look outside. I’d hunted for freshly dug holes, kicking through the overgrown daisies and grasses, squinting against the sunshine to see if anything glittered to be found.
And nothing.
Nothing in the kitchen, the bedrooms, the library, the many, many other rooms.
I had fantasies of finding my PLB, fixing whatever Kas had broken, and hearing the whop-whop of helicopter blades as help arrived. I had dreams of Kas being flown away from this nightmare and reinserted back into society, with me by his side to remind him to behave.
But that was the thing. They were just dreams. Just fantasies. Things that would probably never come true.
On the ninth day, I wandered as well as hunted. I ambled the gardens, gathered a cos lettuce, a broccoli, and a handful of green beans for a salad later on, then cut down the servant hallway to the foyer after leaving them in the kitchen.
A puff of air kissed my cheek as I passed another flight of stairs leading to the left.