"It's not a fling. We are not a fling or just a casual fuck. Jamie, I care about you. I'm completely lost to you, but I need to figure this shit out. You have to understand that. Respect that. I'm not used to having to consult anyone on anything. I've been a lone for a long time." He closed his eyes and ran his finger through his hair.
"Do you still have feelings for Annette?" She wished she could take the words back as soon as she said them. What if he said he did?
"No, but I want to do right by this kid."
"If there is a kid. If it’s yours. That's a lot of ifs to be putting us in this awkward situation. Let's not even throw in the fact that you've accused me multiple times of having feelings for your younger brother." She lifted her eyebrow sharply. "I've been nice to him to make up for you not being kind at all."
"I have reasons for that, Jamie. Stop bringing it up like I'm the villain. I'm not."
"I'm aware of that, but...” She blew out a hot breath and forced herself to calm down. “How about we instead of jumping to another topic that's slowly strangling out our relationship, let's stick to the one that is destroying it. Both of us."
"Fine." He lifted his eyes and pinned her with a hard stare. "What would you do if you were me?"
"I would get her to take a test firstly to make sure she’s pregnant. Then I would have the DNA testing done. If you think for a moment this kid might not be yours, you need to watch yourself. She could be playing a game. I don’t know her thought. You dated her, you know how she is. It might all be truth and it might make you look like an ass, but better an ass that has to apologize than an idiot roped into a lie.” She swallowed. “From what I’ve seen of Annette, my opinion is that there’s no way to assume she's just been with you and that the baby is yours." Jamie moved to the edge of the couch. "After that I would make some decisions, but not before."
The pain in Alex’s eyes made her want to help. She knew she loved him and whatever he had to go through, she would be there for him.
"I don't want to hurt you in this, Jamie. I don't know what the outcome will be, and I feel like I'm dragging you through the mud with me." He shook his head. "I care too much about you to hurt you at all. I need to figure this out and then if you're still willing, we can move forward."
Pain laced the center of her chest as she tilted her head, her eyes widening. "And until then?" she whispered. She didn’t want this. Please don’t say it. Please don’t say it.
"I think we should take a break. I need to clear the air on all of this shit. I've worked my whole life to make something of myself. If anyone was to find out about...about... Annette, I would be toast. People don't look too kindly at investing in someone that seems to lie and cheat people in life. The media would make me out to be the bad guy. They’d have a field day with rummaging through my life. I don’t want that. Not for you, Mark, or the people who work for me. I made this mess." He let out a long breath. "We'll—I’ll figure this out."
She’d heard what he had said but none of it sunk in... just the part about breaking up. "Explain what taking a break means."
He nodded, licking at his lips quickly. "I think we should just try and remain good friends. Keep things platonic. And of course work associates. The minute I clear this up, and if you're still into me, I want you to be at my side. My girlfriend or whatever you want to call it. We'll come out and tell everyone. I want you beside me.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I just need a break from the pressure of figuring us out until I can get this shit behind me."
"The pressure of figuring us out? I didn't realize it was keeping you up at night." Anger tore through her and she clenched her jaw. She was hurt, acting out in anger seemed her safest response. Hating him seemed better than loving him and letting him break her heart. Why was nothing in her life ever easy?
"It's just been a lot." He pulled his phone from his pocket and glanced down at it. "Mark wants to go for beers. You want to come with us."
"No. Thanks though." She turned and stretched out on the couch. "So we're on a break."
"Yeah, if you're okay with that."
"Yep. That means that if something were to happen with me and some guy at the bar I'm going to this week that you don't care. You’re not allowed to care. I'm not having anything held against me, right?" She glanced up from watching the TV as if he didn't matter. She could play it cool.
Whatever.
She could so NOT play it cool.
Devastation swirled in the pit of her stomach and nothing seemed right all of a sudden. She was in complete defense mode where her only recourse was to attack and draw blood as she did it.