"I don't know if she loves me. I don't care." He ran his finger through his hair. "I just want to do what is right. You know?"
Alex glanced at her as if trying to get her to agree with his valiant efforts. The neediness in his gaze sliced through her, and heavy emotion that she'd pushed down began to bubble up. She didn't mind the child being part of the scenario, but losing someone that felt very much like her forever was too much.
"Get her to take a pregnancy test, Alex. With who you are, I’d demand a pregnancy and paternity test. The whole thing. Don’t change your whole fucking life over this chick if you don't even know that the baby is yours. Be smart about this. It's not just you involved." Mark sat forward, the intensity on his face almost scary.
It was nice to see someone fight part of the fight for her, but why wasn't Alex doing it? Why wasn't she considered in his decision? He seemed to have put her on a shelf and moved forward in trying to figure out what to do as if it were just him. Jamie inhaled a long breath. Why was she blaming him? The guy was trying to step up to the plate. She had to respect that.
"I realize that, but this is my life. It's my decision and being a good dad is more important than anything to me. You have to understand that." Alex had turned his attention back to his brother.
Jamie stood and walked toward the edge of the porch. "I'll see you guys later. I'm going for a run and all that good stuff."
"Jamie... stay with us." Alex stood.
"Yeah. Let's make dinner and hang out." Mark turned, the sympathy in his gaze too much.
"No thanks. I'll see you both tomorrow." She turned and jogged toward her place as tears slid over the edge of her eyes, burning a trail down her cheeks.
Alex's decision not only changed their relationship possibly, but everything in her life. It annoyed her that she wasn't even asked her opinion in the matter. It was his future and possibly his choice. He claimed he wanted to love her, but realistically she worked for him and they’d just been seeing each other for about a month, with another month of random sex acts. Commitment wasn’t required. Him including her now hurt, but it might make it easier in the long run. Maybe they weren’t meant to be together.
They had a crazy-strong sexual attraction but was that all there was? If the layers were stripped away, Jamie was afraid what she might find.
Chapter 13
She ran hard. Pushing herself and cranking her iPod loud to drown her thoughts out. The run did her good, and by the time she settled onto her couch, her worries were tucked away behind weariness. She’d showered and just put on stuff to sleep in.
A knock at the door interrupted her aimless flicking through the apple TV for a movie.
Alex. She checked the key hole to make sure Mark wasn’t with him. He was alone. She opened the door. “Hey.”
"You got a few minutes?" His eyes moved down the length of her, leaving chill bumps in their wake. He was in a t-shirt and jeans that fit almost too well. His hair was a bit of a mess from him running his fingers through it. He was beautiful. Breathtaking.
Her nipples budded immediately and her body tightened with the promise of what he was capable of, but by the look on his face, 'talking' didn't mean 'making out'. She almost wished sex would obliterate her thoughts and the ache in her heart.
"Yeah, sure." She turned and walked back into the living room as he closed the door. Her large cream-colored blanket sat on the edge of the couch, and she pulled it over her as she sat down. Her white tank top and boy shorts showed a little too much skin for the conversation that was apparently headed her way.
He sat down in the chair next to the couch and pressed his forearms to his legs. "Firstly, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you my PA back at my dad's place. I was caught off guard, and I want you to know that I meant nothing negative about it at all. I'm an idiot like most guys at times. Forgive me."
"Already done." She shrugged and pulled her knees up, tucking the blanket around her as she watched him closely.
"The situation with Annette is fucking me up."
She pressed her lips together. Should she saw what she really thought? Or sugar coat it for him? Fuck it. "I get that, but what I don't see is why it has to tear the two of us apart. You don’t have to marry Annette or be with her to be a father. That’s the feeling I’m getting from you and that’s what I'm wrestling with. Why tell me, but not ask how I feel? I feel like we are going somewhere but then I feel like I’m just the girl you are fucking who happens to be working for you." Jamie swallowed the hot ball of anger that rose inside of her. She wanted to keep things calm between them.