I lay there, just breathing him in, listening to his heartbeat. Alessio drew random patterns on my back, and my eyes slowly closed at the calmness.
“Where do you want to go for the honeymoon?” he asked in my ear.
I moved closer into him, trying to get as close as possible. With my head over his chest, I replied quietly. “To the beach house.”
Alessio stiffened underneath me, his whole body freezing at my words. I knew he would react this way, but my decision was final.
I had to do this. I had to move on.
“No,” he snapped loudly, his fingers going impossibly tight around my hips. I winced and wiggled in his embrace.
“Alessio—” I started, but he cut me off with an angry growl.
“We aren’t going back there again,” he hissed in my ear. His tone was angry, his body tight with tension.
I knew he was trying to control himself but quickly losing it.
“But—”
He cut me off again. “I said no!”
Alessio pulled away and rolled us over until I was under his firm body. His fingers went around my wrists, pulling them over my head. “Ayla, I won’t repeat myself. We are not going back there. Ever again. Understood? It’s not even up for discussion.”
I could see the tension lines around his eyes and forehead. My heart squeezed when I saw the pain in the depth of his bluish eyes.
“Alessio,” I started again. He was already shaking his head, but I continued. “Please, let me do this. I need to do this. It’s important for me to move on. You bought the beach house for me, right?”
He didn’t answer, his jaw grinding with the effort to keep his anger in check.
“Yes,” he finally hissed.
I twisted my hands from his grip. With great reluctance, he let me go. Instead of moving away, I pulled him even closer.
My hand caressed his rough stubble as I spoke. “Well, then I want to go to my beach house. You can’t stop me. I want to do this, Alessio. I have to move on, and we can’t let what happened stop us from living. If I’m always going to cower in fear and hide behind you, how will I face my past? It hurts to think about it…our happy moments were cut short because of him. We never got a chance to enjoy it.”
I cut off as tears started to build up in eyes. My throat felt tight as I talked. “But I want to go back. I want to face it and move on, with you by my side. I know you’ll be there for me, holding me when I need you to. We have to move on, Alessio.”
My fingers danced over his cheeks as I leaned up and kissed him. “I have to fight it…my past. He’s gone, but he’s still living inside of me. Sometimes the nightmares come back. Sometimes, I fall back into the deep end. You always pull me back. But I have to fight him. This is me fighting him. I won’t let him stop me from living and enjoying my life with my husband…my family.”
Alessio’s throat moved. He looked like he wanted to speak, but his voice was stolen from him. His jaw ticked, his eyes flaring with anger and hurt.
“Please let me do this. I want to go back to the beach house. This time, it will be different. We will be happy,” I murmured against his lips.
He groaned, his forehead touching mine as he closed his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his back, holding him to me. I could almost feel his pain bleeding out to me.
Going back there…it was going to be hard for both of us.
“Angel,” he whispered so softly.
My hand caressed his back soothingly, waiting for him to agree with me. Finally, he opened his eyes, but his forehead continued to rest against mine.
His lips curled in distaste when he replied. “Fine. We will go. But I don’t want you out of my sight for even a minute. It’s going to be crazy. I will drive you insane. But for my own sanity, Ayla…for God’s sake, you can’t leave my sight.”
I knew he didn’t want to agree with me. But he didn’t have a choice. We were going to spend our honeymoon at the beach house.
“Thank you,” I replied, my heart soaring and full of love for this man. “I won’t leave your sight. You will just have to follow me to the bathroom too.”
His lips twitched, and I fought the urge to laugh too. “You are fucking impossible, Ayla.”
“You love me,” I shot back, this time a smile curving my lips.
Alessio’s lips brushed against mine as he spoke. “So fucking much.”
Then he took my lips in a deep, breathless, and senseless kiss.
***
I woke up to find the bed empty. Alessio must have left some time ago, because his spot was already cold beside me.