“When you’re in front of me, I gotta admit, sex is pretty much all I can think about,” he shrugged. He was so full of charm and swagger, it was hard to resist him. I had my career to think about, and so did he. I wasn’t about to let us throw everything we’d both worked so hard for away because we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. We weren’t teenagers anymore. We were adults, even if he made me feel eighteen again when he looked at me with those hungry eyes of his.
“Business first,” I said, leaning over and kissing him quickly. “Play later.”
“You’re such a hard-ass,” he said.
“You like it,” I teased. “I’m sure you never have anyone telling you what to do, do you? Surrounded by yes-men like Grady. It’s good for you.”
“If you say so,” he relented.
“I say so. Now, lay on your back and let me torture you a little,” I winked.
“I thought you’d never ask,” he said, laughing as he laid down on the floor.
* * *
The next few hours flew by in a flurry of sexual innuendos and screeches of pain. I worked him hard. Maybe a little too hard, but I was trying to make up for time lost between his sheets. By the time we were finished, he was sweaty and weak.
“Look at you,” I said, standing over him. “Weak as a kitten. I could really take advantage of you right now if I wanted to.”
“Does that mean we’re finished with all this?” he said.
“Yes,” I replied. “For today. But tomorrow will be just as intense, if not more.”
“Can’t wait,” he said sarcastically. He stood up and stared at me in silence for a moment, until it was so uncomfortable I couldn’t stand it.
“Why are you staring at me? Stop,” I said.
“I can’t. You’re so fucking gorgeous, Maisey. You’ve turned into such a woman, a real woman, you know? I love it. I never thought you’d be…” he gestured to my body, his hands flying up and down to include every curve, “…so voluptuous.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is curvy,” I said.
“Nope, you’re voluptuous. Luscious. You’re like a succulent peach, all juicy and sweet.”
“Did you take extra pain meds today? I think you’re high,” I replied.
His laughter made me laugh, and before long we were belly laughing like a couple of crazy people, our voices echoing through his cavernous penthouse.
He reached over, sliding his arms around my waist and pulling me close to him.
“Let’s go to bed,” he said.
“I can’t,” I replied. “Sorry, I lied earlier to get you to do your exercises.”
“Why not?” he answered, clear disappointment falling on his face.
“Because I have to pick up my daughter from school,” I said, pulling away from him.
“Oh!” he replied. “Okay, I see.” He bit his lip, lost in concentration before speaking again a moment later. “Can I come?”
“What?” I asked, blood draining from my face. “I - um - well - I —,” I stuttered.
“— sorry, too soon,” he said. I looked over at him, and felt like a total bitch when I saw the look on his face.
“No, that’s not it, it’s just that I - well, I was intending to keep this between us.”
“Is that so?” he asked.
“I mean - it’s not - well I just want to keep my personal and business lives separated.”
“I might be a part of your business life, Maisey, but this is hardly strictly business.”
“I know, that’s not what I meant,” I replied, flustered. “It’s just…I don’t bring men around my daughter. I just don’t think you’d be good for her.”
“You don’t think I’d be good for her?” he repeated.
“No, wait! That’s not what I —,” I began. I was a total ass and that wasn’t how I meant for that to come out. But it was too late. The damage was done.
“It’s fine,” he interrupted, turning away, but not before I saw the hurt in his eyes. “Look, she’s part of your life, and I want to be part of your life. I’m not trying to be her father. I just thought I could…”
There it was… He wasn’t trying to be her father.
“Jesse, stop… I meant to say this - not you. This wouldn’t be good for her. All of this… She’s never seen me in a relationship. I’m not sure I’m ready to take that step.”
“From the sounds of it, you’re not,” he replied, spinning around, the pain in his eyes replaced by anger. Or maybe it was a mask. Either way, his words stung. Hard.
“Maybe I’m not,” I replied, my voice rising as I turned towards the door. “I’ve gotta go.”
“Go,” he said, his words simple but full of anger.
Shit, I thought. I really fucked up now. I hurt him. I should have chosen better words, or just figured out some other reason why he couldn’t come with me. Instead, I’d hurt him and he lashed out, wanting to hurt me too.
But his words had a different effect. Instead of hurting me, they woke me up.
It was time to end this. It had gone too far. I was flying too close to the sun and my wings were melting. This was the first time he’d asked to meet Maddy, but it wouldn’t be the last. Did I really think I could continue this way without the two parts of my life overlapping or worse - colliding? Did I really think I could keep everything a secret?
I’d been a fool.
I walked towards his door, the heat of his gaze burning right into the back of my head. I wanted to turn around so badly, every fiber in my being told me to run back into his arms and apologize. I wanted to tell him everything.
But I didn’t. My pride got in the way. Or, maybe it was just my good sense had finally surfaced. Either way, it hurt like hell as my fingers wrapped around his door knob and I opened his door and walked away from the only man I’d ever loved and went back home to the girl I’d pledged my life to.
Sacrifices. I’d been making them my whole life.
But for some reason, this one hurt a whole hell of a lot more than any that had come before.
JESSE
Asshole.
Prick.
Dumb-ass.
Self-sabotaging fool.
Those were just a few of the names that I’d been calling myself ever since Maddy walked out the door.
I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. I’d never really done relationships, but if this was my first, then I was failing miserably at it.
I hadn’t meant to hurt her. I shouldn’t have lashed out the way I did. After having such a kick-ass day with her, laughing and joking around and flirting - I just didn’t want our day to end. That’s why I wanted to go. I hadn’t even given much thought to meeting her daughter yet, but apparently she’d given it plenty of thought herself. Small wonder she had decided it would be a big, fat mistake to introduce her daughter to the asshole playboy she’d been having a good time with at work.
And maybe she was right…
I’d been a fool to think I could be anything else, to think I could be the relationship kind of man for Maisey. I’d been so wrong. Just like always, I’d been arrogant and far too sure of myself, and just look where it got me.
None of it made any sense, though. Was I really that bad for her?
After an hour of beating myself up, I tried to call her to apologize, but she didn’t answer.
Fine, she needed space. I could do that. I was the king of needing space. I got it. I’d give her what she needed. I’d give her some time.
And if she still didn’t want anything to do with me, well, then I’d just move on, wouldn’t I? Just like I’d always done.
It had been easy in the past. Effortless…
There was only one problem.
I was in love with this girl.
True blue sappy country song love. The kind of love that makes people do stupid things.
This time my heart was involved, and moving on might not be an option.
The hours dragged by slowly, and I just couldn’t put this woman out of my mind. I put on my shoes and figured the best thing I could do was exercise.
I hadn’t been for a run since the accident, and I sure as shit couldn’t pull it off now. My knee was already starting to ache almost as much as my chest. I stepped out the door, determined to try to make it around the block. Worst case, I could chalk the day up as a complete failure…
And that was an accomplishment in itself.
MAISEY
Exhaustion was getting the best of me. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I could barely think. Jesse’s face, his eyes, the memory of his touch wouldn’t let go of me.
The worst thing of all? Every time I looked at Maddy, I saw him. I couldn’t even find solace in her, because all I could see was him staring back at me in her eyes. His eyes. They were one and the same. The only thing she’d gotten from me was my curls. Even her hair was the same color as his, she gestured like him, and I swear to god she even blinked like him. It was eerie.
She’d never even met him and he was imprinted on her. He was a part of her.
Letting things get this far was a mistake. A huge mistake that I’d spend who knows how long recovering from.
His comment about not trying to be Maddy’s father only solidified things in my mind.