“You were drinking?” I guessed.
He shrugged. “A little. Not much. But I got pulled over because I was driving about a hundred and fifty miles an hour. Honestly, if it wouldn’t have been my dad, I wouldn’t have bothered stopping.”
“What happened after that?” I asked quietly, taking the seat beside him and taking the chance to run my hand over Sister’s head, right between her ears. She was much softer than Lou was.
Sister leaned her head into my hand but didn’t give me much more than that.
She wasn’t sure about me just yet, and that was okay.
Lou, on the other hand, obviously didn’t have the same hesitation.
“I pulled over. It took him about a mile to catch up with me. Where I’d pulled over, I ended up being about a hundred yards behind a lady that was broken down on the side of the road. My father ignored me and went to her to offer his assistance, and ended up dying right in front of me. Watched everything.” He swallowed hard.
I closed my eyes.
“That’s…that’s fucking awful,” I finally said.
He started to chuckle, low and deep. “That’s what I’ve been able to come up with. Pretty much sums up everything since the accident, actually.”
I snorted.
“So, you became a cop to honor your dad?” I guessed.
He picked up the stick that Lou held out to him, then tossed it in the direction of the woods.
“Yeah,” he said. “After that night, I knew I needed to get my act together.”
“You don’t blame yourself for that accident, do you?” I asked softly.
“No,” he answered immediately. “Dad would’ve found that driver on his own. He was already traveling in that direction. I’d been sitting there, considering getting out and offering my help while my dad helped, for about fifteen minutes before the accident happened.”
I blew out a breath.
“I hate that you witnessed that,” I admitted, noticing that he was sitting stiffly there at my side, and thinking that a change of subject was needed.
“So, you have an ex-wife?” I asked.
He burst out laughing.
“So…the game warden,” Logan immediately changed the subject.
I was the one to burst out laughing, loving the way he didn’t beat around the bush. The ex-wife was clearly off-limits for him.
Which was okay…for now.
“I used to date him,” I murmured. “Theo. I met him at my old job right after everything went down with Jakobe. Our relationship was exactly what I needed. Something that I chose. Something slow—which he was more than willing to do. And something that I could control.”
He leaned back in his chair and stretched his long legs out in front of him.
“I broke up with him because I realized that he just…wasn’t the one,” I admitted. “We’d never progressed past kissing. Not that he didn’t want to, because it was obvious that he did. I just wasn’t ready. And it wasn’t until about three months into our relationship that I had zero plans to carry it any further.”
He winced. “Theo obviously still has a thing for you.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Which is why I left. Why I did what I did. I didn’t want to settle. I wanted what my parents have. I want to feel that spark. Butterflies entering my belly every time he walks in the room, or I get a text message from him. I want everything.” I snickered. “Unfortunately, my mother doesn’t quite understand that. She still likes him, and wants him for me.”
Logan was so quiet that it took me a second to realize something was wrong.
“What is it?” I asked, focusing all of my attention on him.
“I’m just…surprised,” he admitted. “Because that’s the reason I broke up with my last girlfriend, too. She actually works as your father’s secretary.”
I winced. “You can’t quit your job like I did.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I could likely move to a different department and be just fine. Longview and Bear Bottom would hire me on in a heartbeat. But…I just want to work for Kilgore. My dad did. My dad’s dad did. I would feel like a failure if I left.”
“Have you ever found the one?” I asked.
Was it hope that started to zing through me? I really, really wanted him to say no, that the one had never happened for him like it hadn’t happened for me.
“I’ve never been anywhere close to finding the one. My ex-wife? She was so far away from being the one that I had no clue,” he murmured. “What about you?”
I thought about that for a second.
“I thought I had it once,” I admitted. “My childhood boyfriend, Luca. He was great.” My voice cracked on the word ‘great.’ “But he wanted to be a Navy SEAL. I didn’t want him to go. I didn’t want him to get involved in that. I just had a horrible, horrible feeling when he told me he was going. And…we broke up.”