"Have an apple fritter. A friend told me this place has the best in town."
"Thank you."
Aelita looks at the fritter like I just passed her a dog turd.
"The food's better at the Bamboo House of Dolls, but you didn't want to meet there."
"I don't drink."
"We didn't have to drink.".
"I don't like the smell of liquor."
"What about all the wine in the Church's holy magic shows?"
"Wine isn't liquor. It's the blood of our Lord."
I take a sip of coffee. It's hot and good, but good coffee in restaurants kind of depresses me. I always wonder why it doesn't come in a cigarette flavor for places where you can't smoke.
"The state of California disagrees, otherwise teenyboppers would ask me to buy stuff for them at twenty-four-hour blood stores."
"This is exactly the kind of talk I'd expect from you."
"An Abomination?"
"Yes."
"I'll get you a thesaurus next Christmas. You need to expand your vocabulary."
"Some things are beyond redemption."
"I thought anyone could get through the Pearly Gates if they repented."
"No. Not everyone."
"Maybe I should take back my fritter."
Aelita sighs and looks out the window. She'd rather be having lunch in a volcano than sitting here with me.
"Not everyone deserves God's grace, but everything in existence has a purpose and a use. Even the abhorrent. Given that, I've come here to ask you one more time, will you work for the righteous cause of the Golden Vigil?"
"When you ask so nicely, it makes me feel all nonabhorrent."
"This is your chance to redeem yourself, if only just a little."
"Sure. I'll work for the Vigil. But on a freelance basis. And I want to be paid. In cash and in advance. I don't exactly trust holy rollers."
"You want money for doing God's work?"
"Yes. A lot of money. You practically have Area 51 tucked away in your warehouse. You can afford it."
"I didn't think you could possibly be more vile, but you've managed to surprise me."
"I know. I'm worse than the bogeyman and tooth decay. But the offer still stands. I don't have a business card, but you know where to find me."
I take my own apple fritter out of the bag and take a bite. The Kissi was right. It really is that good.
"Every day you're alive is like someone spitting in the face of God. I showed you mercy when I let Eugene save you. You won't get mercy from me again."