“But Adrian—”
“No, Carmen. Neither you nor my father will stop this.”
“Well, I could definitely stop this, being that I’m supposed to be the other half of this future relationship. I have the power to stop anything from happening.”
“No, I want you.”
“Adrian—”
“No.”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It actually does.” I laughed.
The sound stopped Adrian’s talking for a few seconds as if I’d stunned him.
“Fine, Carmen. What are you going to say?”
I sat up in my seat and let out a long breath. “I don’t know if we should date or not. I’m not even considering a relationship with you right now. Too much has happened. I agree with your therapist. We need time. This is all assuming that your father doesn’t decide to ruin my life.”
Silence greeted my ears.
“Adrian?”
“I’m listening,” he replied.
“So let’s say we solve the situation with your dad.”
“We will.”
“Fine,” I said. “Maybe during this time, we figure out if we’re on the same path.”
“Whatever path you’re on, I’m right behind you, stalking and walking in the shadows.”
“Wow. I don’t know if I should be flattered or scared.”
“Both, if you’re smart.”
“You’re young. We may be in different stages of our lives. I want kids and marriage. You probably want to get drunk and dive off of a cliff in Hawaii—”
“I want kids, marriage, and to dive off of any cliff with you. I want it all and more.”
I swallowed and took the courageous step I’d been scared to take every sense that day I walked in on Adrian masturbating. “I like you. I’m attracted to you, and not just your body or cock. I’m into your mind.”
“Yes.” Adrian’s voice sounded like he was grinning. I’d bet money that he was. “Please, proceed. I’m enjoying this path.”
I rolled my eyes. “And even though I know that you have things within you that may be broken...I think I love you more for it all.”
I breathed in and out to calm my nerves. Saying this to him was probably even worse than getting drunk and jumping off of a cliff. He was my ex-fiancé’s son for God’s sake. Dating him would be unethical, to say the least. Dating him could ruin my freaking career. Plus, he wore red flags like they were in style.
But I didn’t care.
He’d stalked me and shown me he possessed no control over his sexual urges when it came to me, to the point of jacking off all over my bedroom.
Still, I craved him.
“What I’m trying to say, Adrian... is... I want you too.”
Chapter 11
Butterfly
Carmen
Adrian stayed true to his word, in some aspect. He gave me time away from him physically, but he continued to court me.
He started a new habit for us: daily phone conversations. We talked every evening, but never face to face. I had my career and shaky reputation to protect. We worried that Nick had people watching us. Adrian figured that once Nick found a new woman to lust over, he’d ignore us both. I wasn’t so sure. The very thought of Nick revealing my lies to the world scared the shit out of me.
I should’ve never lied in the first place. Now I have Mr. Douchebag holding it over my head.
Adrian and I never Skyped and fought the urge to run to each other and take exactly what we wanted.
We needed time. For what, we weren’t a hundred percent sure, but the more we learned about each other, the more I yearned for him.
He mind fucked me every night, and I enjoyed him drilling his words into my skull as though he were drilling his cock into my center. We debated current world politics. Sometimes he shared his new poetry with me. Other times, I updated him on my fantasy novel, which had been moving along well.
We wrote emails back and forth throughout the day. Virtually every subject read like, “I want you.”
“I don’t know what’s worse, Carmen,” he whispered into the phone one night. I’d been scared to turn in my bed and look at the clock, sure that it was well past midnight.
“What’s worse?” I asked.
“Knowing you’re mine and not being able to touch you like I crave.”
“I’m yours?”
“Always.”
“But Adrian—”
Fear laced his words. “Don’t hurt me... please.”
I sank into that pillow as if drowning in his love. The more we talked, the more intense he became. The man had so much passion inside of him that he’d hidden from the world and himself. It was hard to walk away, impossible to pretend that he hadn’t seeped into my flesh and taken over my whole body, mind, and soul.
I whispered, “I would never hurt you, baby.”
Weeks passed with us secretly communicating. Nick finally found a new woman. Suddenly, he stopped returning home or checking in on his son. Adrian tested the freedom waters, moved into a condo, and stopped working with any of his dad’s corporations. He decided to put his passion into poetry and kiss his inheritance goodbye. For his condo, he’s used the Catharsis royalties.