I looked at him. I assumed T.J. told him everything. “You didn’t know?”
“Meg told me he left. Ran off. I thought maybe he and T.J. ran off together.” He made a suggestive humph, adding meaning to ‘together.’ Geez, even if Zan had swung that way, T.J. had better taste.
“Meg’s a liar.”
“Why would T.J. kill him?”
“Zan attacked me. T.J. was protecting me.”
“Why would Zan attack you?” he said.
“Are you serious? Are you really so clueless about what’s happening in your own pack?”
His shoulders tightened, hackles rising. Then he blew out a breath in a sigh and let himself slouch. “What am I going to do with you?”
I hugged my knees and glared out at the hills, painted gold by the sun. Shadows of the trees lengthened, crawling toward me.
“I’m going to have a talk with Meg. I don’t know what you’re going to do. You’ll either stay out of the way, or you’ll back Meg. I don’t know which.”
“Can you take down Meg?”
“I can try.”
“Then you’ll take her place.”
“No. I don’t want her place.” I wanted my own place; how could I make him see that?
“I can’t be head of this pack by myself.” He sounded almost panicked.
“Maybe you could learn.”
He said, his voice tight, “Why won’t you even consider it?”
“Because I don’t need the pack. I have my own life.” Rogue wolf. I could do it. “So, are you going to back her up or stay out of my way?”
He hooked his hands in the pockets of his jeans and looked away. It occurred to me that Carl wasn’t that old. Maybe thirty-four, thirty-five. I didn’t know how much of that time he’d spent as a werewolf. He lacked the confidence of maturity. How much effort did it take him to put on the tough act, to maintain that dominant stance he needed to stay in control? I’d never noticed before, but the confidence didn’t come naturally to him. Not like it did to, say, Cormac.
“You want to come inside to wait for her?”
“I think I’ll stay here.”
He went back around the corner of the house.
Not too much longer after that, he came out the back door. Meg was with him. They stood side by side, looking down at me. I should have been butt-sore from sitting on the concrete that long. But it really was a nice afternoon. The air was starting to get a hint of twilight chill. I was comfortable.
“Hey, Meg. Tell me about James,” I said without turning.
The pause before she answered went on a little too long. “Who?”
“James. Rogue werewolf.”
Carl said, “Kitty, what are you talking about?”
“I think Meg’s been holding out on you. I think she found somebody who looked big and tough, made him one of us, and started grooming him to be your replacement. She didn’t want to fight you herself. He would be an alpha male who owed everything to her. But the guy was nuts. Unstable. She couldn’t control him. She abandoned him, and he started killing. She didn’t like me talking to the cops about it; maybe she was afraid I’d figure it out, catch her scent and trace the rogue back to her. So she sent Zan to get rid of me. Too bad the whole teaming-up with Arturo to hire Cormac to kill me didn’t work earlier. Would have made everyone’s lives easier. I think she’s had it in for me for a while, ever since she thought I might threaten her place.”
“Where is this James now?” Carl looked at me, not Meg.
But I looked straight at Meg. “I killed him.”