My Uncle Oswald - Page 50

'Oh, I see what you mean! Good heavens!'

'He is a wonder, that man,' she said. 'He is a genius.'

'Of course he's a genius. That's why we chose him.'

'Yes, but he's a beautiful genius. He is so beautiful, Oswald, and so gentle and wonderful, I've never met anyone like him.'

'He smote you all right.'

'He certainly did.'

'So what's your problem?' I said. 'Are you feeling guilty about it?'

'Oh no,' she said. 'I don't feel in the least guilty. I'm just overwhelmed.'

'You're going to be a hell of a lot more overwhelmed before we've finished,' I said. 'He's not the only genius you're going to call on.'

'I know that.'

'You're not running out, are you?'

'Certainly not. Give me some more drink.'

I filled her glass for the third time in as many minutes. She sat sipping it. Then she said, 'Listen, Oswald...'

'I'm listening.'

'We've been pretty jokey about this whole thing up to now, haven't we? It's all been a bit of a lark, right?'

'Rubbish! I take it very seriously.'

'What about Alfonso?'

'You were the one who joked about him,' I said.

'I know that,' she said, 'but he deserved it. He's a joker.'

'I can't quite see what you're getting at,' I said.

'Renoir was different,' she said. 'That's what I'm getting at. He's a giant. His work is going to live through the ages.'

'So will his sperm.'

'Stop it and hear me out,' she said. 'What I'm saying is this. Some people are jokers. Some are not. Alfonso is a joker. All the kings are jokers. We have a few other jokers on our list, too.'

'Who?'

'Henry Ford's a joker,' she said. 'I think that fellow Freud in Vienna is a joker. And the wireless boy, Marconi. He's a joker.'

'What's the point of all this?'

'The point is,' Yasmin said, 'I don't in the least mind being jokey about jokers. I don't mind treating them a little rough either if I have to. But I'll be damned if I'm going to start sticking hatpins into men like Renoir and Conrad and Stravinsky. Not after what I saw today.'

'What did you see today?'

'I told you, I saw a really great and wonderful old man.'

'And he smote you.'

Tags: Roald Dahl Humorous
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