Wes’s shoulders sank—Jax hadn’t called the director, MacKenzie, he’d gone straight to the top and called the producer, Ted Rimer.
Wes put the ice on the desk and laid the left side of his face on the bag. Pain shot through his eye, his temple, his brain. “That fucker better stay in jail. ”
Lexi set the tackle box on the desk in his line of sight. “Quite the little temper you’ve got there, Mr. Lawson. ”
“Stupidity and laziness chap my ass. ”
“I can see that. ”
She opened the huge box and pulled out all sorts of shit. Wes just let his gaze blur. Lexi had created the first aid kit shortly after she’d started dating Jax and realized that every injured or troubled Renegade ended up on Jax’s doorstep at all times of the day and night.
“You’re the fucking best thing to ever happen to that man,” he mumbled. His cheek and tongue were starting to swell, and he sounded drunk. He wished he were. This would all hurt a hell of a lot less. “Actually, you’re the best thing to happen to Renegades, period. ”
“He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me too. And I guess you Renegades are okay, even if you do keep trailing blood through my studio. Bring your head up. ”
Grimacing at the ache in his neck, Wes obeyed. Now that his adrenaline had receded, all the tweaks and pains were blaring like bright lights.
“What can I do to become the best thing that ever happened to Rubi?”
She paused her inspection and met his eyes, her gaze thoughtful. “I…don’t really know how to answer that. As much as I think I know what she needs, she has to be the one to accept things and people into her life. Jax is only good for me because I let him in. ”
“Not encouraging,” Wes grumbled.
She soaked a cotton ball with hydrogen peroxide and wiped at blood on his nose. The skin beneath Wes’s eye flinched at the sting. “I don’t think your nose is broken. It’s pretty straight, and it doesn’t look like it’s bleeding, but you’ve got a nice cut across the bridge. Rubi will probably think that’s all kinds of sexy. ”
Wes laughed. The movement sent pain shooting through his face, and he groaned. “Oh hell, don’t do that. ”
“Sorry. ” But there was humor in her voice. “Let’s see the eye. ”
When Wes lifted the ice, she sucked a breath through her teeth.
“This I’m not so sure about,” she said. “You could have a broken something in there somewhere. ”
“Don’t quit your day job, Lex. ”
She flashed a grin. But it melted away quickly, and her gaze went distant and worried as she continued to clean his wounds. “It’s no secret that Rubi’s father wasn’t much of a father. And you know she never had a mother—at least not one she remembers. ”
“But neither did you, from what I’ve heard. ”
“It’s true that I didn’t have a father and my mother was an alcoholic, but the kind of neglect I suffered was different from Rubi’s. I had a little brother to take care of, and I had to mother my own mom when she was drunk. I was responsible for my family, which made me grow up very fast. Rubi grew up fast in an entirely different way. She didn’t have anyone who cared about her and no one to care for. I was rarely alone, where Rubi was always alone. And, honestly, we both have similar issues when it comes to commitment. ”
Neglect.
That term hit Wes square in the forehead, confusing him. When Rubi spoke of her childhood it was in wild stories of how she’d abused the freedom every kid wishes they had, not of being alone. And she’d certainly had every material desire. Not the standard someone thought of as neglect.
“I don’t understand,” he said. “You and Jax are always together unless you’re working. He’s never been happier. What kind of commitment issues could there be?”
She lifted her brows with a smirk. “He hasn’t been bitching about the house situation?”
“I thought you two just hadn’t found the right fit yet. ”
Lexi mopped up more blood. “He’s a prince. Finding the right fit isn’t really the problem. I am. ” She sat back appraising his face, then going back to work on his temple. “Part of my issues stem from growing up poor. So poor, some days we didn’t eat. When we did, I saved most of my food for my brother. My childhood was spent in survival mode. I lived from one crisis to the next. That life was imbedded into me for sixteen long years before I left. Then I was on my own—too young.
“That all makes me incredibly…miserly. My bank account may tell me I can afford an apartment, but my subconscious says no way. ” She waved toward the loft above the main salon where she’d lived for years before Jax. “My subconscious says this is all I can afford because I never know where the next meal is coming from. Or the next rent payment. Or the next client. Every financial decision I make is excruciating. And no matter how much therapy I get, no matter how much my life has changed or how many zeros show behind the number in my bank account, there will always be a part of that kid inside me subconsciously living in a constant state of lack. ”
Wes’s chest had grown tight. His mind flashed between images of this beautiful, sweet, accomplished version of Lexi and a frightened little girl taking care of a drunk mother and young brother.
“So,” she said, “when Jax keeps taking me to these million-dollar homes…”