me we shouldn’t see each other that way,” he says. “I thought about it, and you’re right.”
“See me outside of school was not what I meant, either.” I’m completely out of my element, and I need to gain the upper ground. Figuratively and literally. “This can’t happen, Carter. I know what you’re trying to do, and it’s not an effective way to get what you want.”
He just watches me with that cocky grin. Those dimples. “I think I’m having all sorts of effects on you. Watch your step—”
It’s suddenly darker than it was only a moment ago, and gravity clings to my loss of equilibrium. My foot hits a stone wrong and I stumble.
Keys and phone clatter to the ground, but Carter catches me before I fall face-first onto the rocks.
He’s warm and solid and that scent… I take note of every flexed muscle in his arm, his chest pressed hard to mine. I right my feet, but he doesn’t let go. Instead, he frees one hand to sweep the hair from my eyes, his face hovering too close to mine.
“Why are you torturing me?”
His features draw together. “I could ask you the same thing.”
I didn’t mean to say that out loud; I’m disoriented and can’t think clearly, with his scent invading my senses, his heat searing my skin. I try to wriggle free, but he closes his arm around my waist, preventing me from escaping.
“If you keep squirming like that,” he says, “I’m not sure I can control myself.”
He effectively ends my fight when he crushes me to his chest. His eyes find mine, blazing with blue intensity, and I can’t breathe, my chest aching with every inhalation.
“Carter…please…” I’m not sure what I’m begging for—for him to let me go? For him to never let go? This is madness. “You can’t talk to me this way—”
He rests his forehead against mine, and my body softens in his hold.
I shiver, but not from the chill in the air. My blood is fire, my skin reactive to the elements in stark contrast. His grip seizes more than just control over my body.
I’ve never felt more powerless and powerful all in the same moment.
“My behavior was wrong before, when I grabbed you,” he says, as he pulls his head back. His hand skims my arm, trailing down to my hand. I flinch as he draws it up, worried about him noticing the cuts, but he lays a gentle kiss to the inside of my wrist. “But here’s the thing. I don’t know what it is, but I know you’re hiding something. You’re like a ghost, with no online presence at all. That’s a hard thing to accomplish.”
Fear coils around my spine. “Are you trying to…blackmail me?”
He chuckles. “Is there something to blackmail?”
I shiver. “No, Carter. I told you before, you have to stop looking—”
“Want me to stop? Make me.”
The dare in his eyes is lethal. I could make this stop. I could make this all go away—but the temptation to assert control over him is too strong. Something I never had with Jeremy.
A way to relive the past. Rewrite the future.
When I don’t respond, he dips his head so close, my breath stutters. “You want me to find out all your dirty secrets.”
I should feel some smolder of indignation well up within me, but I’d be a hypocrite if I tried to claim otherwise. If he let go right now, I’d yearn for his touch. I’m desperate for him to keep holding me, despite what my head is screaming.
I lick my lips. “Maybe just one,” I say.
He touches my face softly this time, his coarse fingers abrasive and electric against my skin.
“I saw how you looked at me,” he says. “That first second in your office, I saw it. It took all my willpower not to shove that fucking desk out of my way and take you right there. I’ve never seen a girl look at me like that before, and I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since.” He runs the pad of his thumb across my lips. “You’re making me fucking crazy.”
I swallow, and his gaze drops to my mouth as he releases a fervent curse under his breath.
I’m desperately trying to listen to my mentor’s guidance…but the temptation to give in to this feeling is too strong. “This is crazy,” I say, my voice weak, trembling. “It’s wrong.”
“Fuck wrong,” Carter says. “I can’t go another day at that academy wanting you and not being able to touch you.” He demonstrates his desire by cupping my face. “Just stay here with me, Ellis.”