Boarding House, Bed Two: Hugging my pillow is as close as I’ll get to hugging Paul any more tonight. Paul. What a love. I was so afraid, after all my mistakes with Quinn, that there were no sweet, kind men left in the world, that I would be left alone for the rest of my life. Silly woman. Whatever force brought him to me, I will be forever grateful. And in less than a month we’ll become husband and wife. He’ll be mine, and I’ll be his. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
That moonlight shining through my window is just about the color of my dress. I’m so relieved Paul decreed I should have a new one, instead of using Cam’s for a second time. He is so wise. So strong. And such fun to tease. I wonder what changes he will actually allow me to make in his house. We need to start on those soon, to have all the dust and noise cleared out before we settle in as a couple. Paul. My darling. I shall dream of you this night. If I can ever go to sleep.
Please let me go to sleep. Please. I am feeling so overjoyed.
Boarding House, Bed Three: Oh, the nerve of that man. The nerve! He deliberately goes out of his way to antagonize and infuriate me. How can any sensible person bear to be in his company? How can Letty continue to work with him? He’s a boor, an absolute boor.
To insinuate that I might actually be jealous of my sisters...just because one is having a baby and one is having a wedding, and neither event is happening to me. Well, really, I do hope I’m not as petty as he makes me out to be!
Lord, I am tired. I am so tired. Why can’t I sleep? All these thoughts keep going round in my head, and I can’t turn off my brain. Are there sheep to count? It’s never worked in the past, but perhaps if I try it again, and I concentrate very, very intently on the numbers...One. Two. Three...
Please let me go to sleep. Please. I am feeling so frustrated.
A rather barren bedroom in the Winslow house: Here I am, staring up at the ceilin’, grinnin’ in the dark like some kinda loon, thinkin’ how almighty tirin’ this day has been and what a lucky sonofagun I am. Good thing I finally got up enough nerve to latch onto my girl as soon as she was free of that mongrel Hennessey, b’fore somebody else snatched her away. Loved that sweet, brave lass right from the beginnin’, and now we’ve finally set things right.
She’ll be makin’ over my house prob’ly startin’ tomorrow, and she’ll be makin’ over my clothes and maybe me, to boot. But I’ll be makin’ over Miss Molly—in my bed. Gonna help her put all the bad memories right outa her mind, so we can start buildin’ new ones, together.
Please let me go to sleep. Please. I am feelin’ high as a kite.
Forrester House, Bedroom Occupant One: Man, what a long day. Been almost asleep on my feet for the last few hours, and now I’m too fagged out to sleep. How’s that for irony? Got a lot on my plate for tomorrow, too. No wonder I’m still awake.
Gotta spend some time at the store, see what’s goin’ on there, find out if any problems cropped up whilst I was gone. Gotta talk to the town council, check in on somea the stuff they’ve been wantin’ to discuss at the next meetin’. This bein’ the mayor gets to be a hassle sometimes, but I sure do like the job.
Man, what a long day. Findin’ out I’m gonna be a father...feel like I’m in over my head, facin’ a world of responsibility. I’m excited and scared and just about foamin’ at the mouth, all at once. But at least I know what not to do. No bairn of mine will ever be treated like Pop treated his sons. Wonder if Cam is carryin’ a boy or a girl? Not sure I’m ready for this. Still, lookin’ ahead, just thinkin’ about a little one around here...Gotta make sure Cam takes care of herself, too. She’s always doin’ for everybody else, can’t have her gettin’ rundown and such...
Molly’s gonna be settlin’ down soon, and Paul will look after her. No need to worry any more about that’n. I can cross one name off my list of Burtons that haveta be rounded up and hogtied. And who’da figured Letty would go puttin’ herself into the same predicament as Molly had, and that her mail order husband would end up bein’ Cole! Here I was, so bothered about another Quinn Hennessey haulin’ into town, and her bein’ stuck with him!
Cole. What kinda mess has he gotten himself in? A wanted man? Well, I’ll find out more tomorrow, at Paul’s office, with Paul’s help. Good to have the law on your side. Good to have the boy back under my wing again.
Please let me go to sleep. Please. I am feelin’ so inadequate.
Forrester House, Bedroom Occupant Two: I’ve never felt so exhausted in my life as right now. Not even after our two month trip traveling here from St. Louis, by wagon train. Recovery from that took only a day or two; I suspect, from here on, I will just be growing more and more fatigued. And fat. And foul-tempered. I can only hope my dear husband will find the patience to put up with me!
Still, I’m happy, I’m so very very happy. A baby. Our own baby. And Ben will make a wonderful father. He has all the attributes I wanted to find in a man, to hand down to our children, and he’ll take good care of us. Oh, all the things I want to dream about for our future, and I simply can’t fall asleep.
What a relief that Molly has finally made up her mind. Between all the plans for this little one, and all the plans for her wedding, we will be indescribably busy for the next few weeks. What joy. I can’t wait to start telling people in the town. Elvira, and Mrs. McKnight, and the sewing circle at church.
And now we have Cole back with us. Ben has spoken very little of him, but it must have been such a heart scald, nor knowing where he’s been all thes
e years, or how he’s been faring. Or if he was even alive! But Ben and Paul between them should be able to clear up any trouble the boy is in, I have no doubt. Ben can do anything.
Oh, Lordy, Lordy, my ankle bones feel as if they’re being driven straight through the soles of my feet. I think perhaps I’ll let Ben coddle me just a tiny bit tomorrow. Meanwhile, I want to just snuggle up against him, feel his warmth and solidness on this cool night, breathe in the outdoor scent of him. My big, strong Ben.
And to think we had the most awful fight, the day after we were married, to the point that I feared we’d never be able to make amends and go forward. Well, we got over that soon enough. All it took was the two of us, reaching out to each other.
Which, if I reach down just far enough, now, I can graze across the top of those big ole feet of his with my toes. Ah. I do love to nestle up against this man. When he looks at me in that special way, and calls me his darlin’, I just melt. And he knows it, the devil. He knows he can get away with anything, then.
I wonder, if I touch him lightly here...and here...no, I mustn’t. He’s dead tired, he has so much to do, I mustn’t...oh, I am shameless. A whole week together, doing this very thing, and I’m still not satisfied. Hungry, I am hungry...and shameless...and...
Please let me go to sleep. Please. I am feeling so randy.
Room No. 9 at the Drinkwater Hotel: Roll over here, roll over there; back and forth, back and forth. This mattress is so lumpy that it must be filled with rocks, and the pillow ain’t much better. Feathers, my fanny. I’d do better tryin’ to sleep out next to a dry creek bed, under the stars.
Not that I’ll manage much sleep anyway. Got a headache to beat the band, and a heartache to match. Never shoulda planned on tryin’ to see my brother again. All I’ll do is bring him scandal and shame, involve him in stuff that is way beyond his knowin’. Never shoulda answered that ad in the Denver newspaper. All I’ll do is cause pain for that girl who’s everything I ever wanted in life.
Best if I just slip away, be on the move again, run away from the mess I’m tangled up in. Leave everybody here and leave ’em alone. No point drawin’ them in, havin’ to deal with my problems. It’s a nice place, Turnabout, one where I could see buildin’ a home, and maybe a family. But it ain’t for me.
It’d be better for Tish if I took off and went back to my wanderin’, just like I been doin’ for so long. Had this burden weighin’ me down for some four years now, and the stress has just about done me in. It’s hard to consider lightin’ out again, for some place where my old name ain’t known.