She looks straight at Ember and Robbie, still avoiding me. Ember gives out a hoot, and the whole table joins in. I slither down, feeling the eyes in the room come to me.
Fuck!
“So, we’ve covered a lot here tonight, but here’s where the story turns important. This is why Jenna invited me to speak.
“Okay, so my fairytale has an unconventional ending.” Presley goes somber, still avoiding eye contact with me. “I fell in love with a man who takes risks for a living. I thought I could handle it; I even embellished a lifetime of it. Then, the unthinkable happened. He was shot. For hours, I was in limbo on his condition, and when I finally saw him, he was going to be okay. But something happened to me, something I didn’t realize at the time. I let my fear dictate my rationality, and I walked away from him, thinking I could never live through losing him, too. So I gave up.”
She takes a sip of water and focuses on her dad.
“When I came home, heartbroken and numb, my dad and brother admitted to me they’d been to a few of the grief groups, needing to talk about my brother’s death. Then they told me they’d taken Whitney to a group for kids who had lost a parent. It was so therapeutic to them, and my brave niece had made friends with other children who could talk about their deceased parents.
“My dad drove me to my first counseling appointment and stayed until I was done. He banged on the door when he heard me bawling through the door. He screamed, begging the counselor to open up, and he sobbed along with me, hearing me vocalize what I didn’t even realize I was holding in. When it was over, I fell into my dad’s arms like the fifteen-year old girl who lost her mom, releasing all the feelings I’d harbored for years.”
She wipes a small tear from her eye and finally looks at me with clarity.
“It’s been a few weeks, but I’ve finally unleashed some of the deepest, darkest fears that were suppressed. My boyfriend getting shot triggered something in me, something so deep and oppressed that I didn’t know it was there. Now, I know that saying I was taking a chance wasn’t enough. I finally learned I needed to believe in something greater.” Her eyes glance around the room, stopping on random people. “So today, I stand here in front of all you—mothers, fathers, grandparents, wives, husbands, brothers, sisters, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, even children… We are survivors. Maybe you haven’t lost anyone, but we’re survivors all the same.”
Fuck Me! Fuck Me! Fuck Me! Why didn’t I see it? How could I be so blind and stupid? She was hurting; she was taking a risk the whole time. Me getting shot was the Pandora’s Box of her fears. I stare fiercely at her, willing her to look my way. She continues to speak, her voice cracking and breaking my heart at the same time.
“I’m not taking anything away from those who serve in the present or the past, but for those of us in a support role, there are programs and people that can help share your worry and carry your burden. Believe me, it’s worth talking to them. I have gone through my own form of hell, but I’ve learned in the process.”
Jenna gets up and skirts around the back of the room, stopping by Max.
“So, I’m going to close with this. Sometimes, it takes losing almost everything to realize your fragility. My advice is to lean on people, let your fears be known, and seek the guidance that may bring you happiness. If anything, you may find the strength to get up in the morning with a renewed sense of belonging and understanding. For me, there was profound beauty in unleashing the burdens. I’m not herculean in any way, but each day, I’m stronger. Everyone deserves that feeling.”
Presley gives a small smile and moves back for Jenna to take the stage. My adrenaline starts to spike with the need to get to her. The Marine escort from earlier offers his arm to Presley, and I finally move.
“Fucking bullshit. She’s not going through another day in hell without me by her side,” I mutter, shifting to my feet and heading to the side doors. A firm grip on my forearm stops me, and I spin to face Jeff with fire in his eyes.
“Don’t fuck this up, or I swear to God, you’ll wish you never met me. My baby girl is vulnerable and hurt. I’ll give you one chance and one chance only. She ends up in tears, you end up back in the hospital.”
His stare is intense, but his meaning seeps into my skin.
“Jeff, I’ll take care of her. You’ll never be the one waiting outside a closed door again without me by her side. If she’ll have me back, I’m never letting her leave me.”
He seems to accept this and lets my arm go as the applause for Presley dies down, and Jenna starts talking.
I maneuver around the tables, keeping my head low, trying not to draw attention to myself. My target is the side stage.
But when I get close, Max is the only one waiting. He looks at me with a disgusted snarl. “You took long enough.”
“Where is she?”
“She’s gone, but lucky for you, I have a plan. Even you can’t fuck this up.”
I say a little prayer and let him lead me through the kitchen and up the service elevator. He has a tray waiting with everything I could ask for.
“I should fucking take you to the ground. I searched for her over an hour.”
“Served you right. You were a dick.”
“I know, but where’s your loyalty?”
“She cheated, I’d be by your side. She lied, stole, deceived, I’d be by your side. But she laid it out and you let her walk away. I wasn’t going to leave her alone while you came to your senses.”
“Appreciate it.” I give him a chin jerk and push the room service tray forward. “What room?”
“1128.”