“It’s not what you think. Reese told me what you saw, and Russell is dating someone new. He came by to tell me about her and asked me to lunch. It was innocent and platonic and totally unromantic.”
The line is quiet, except for the huffs of his breath. “Thank you for telling me.”
“I’m sorry I missed you that day. I’d have loved to see you.”
“Well, it’s for the best. Nothing’s changed, right?”
“Actually, a lot has changed. I’ve been—“
“Fiiiiiinnnnn, where are you?” A shrill, whiny female voice calls for him.
“Look, Presley, I need to go. Maybe we can catch up when I’m back.” His tone is flat, sending a knife to my heart.
“Where are you, exactly?”
“I’m with Max in Virginia. I should go.”
“But wait! Who was that?”
“He has guests over. I can’t talk to you right now.”
“Are you… are you hooking up with someone?”
The line goes dead, and my heart splinters into a million pieces. I crumble on the floor and sob, screaming into the empty room, begging for another chance. I did this. My fear and uncertainties finally win. Everything comes crashing down, and I know I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.
For the ten days I’ve been attending these meetings, today was my day to talk. I went into it with the same preparations I’ve always relied on. My notes were precise, my thoughts were clear, and I even had tissues handy.
But tonight, when I stood in the room of survivors, I saw Finn’s face everywhere. Well, except for the four chairs in the back of the room. Those were my family—Dad, Johnny, Reese, and an empty chair in respect of Simon. I wanted to speak on script, but with Finn’s face popping into my head, I choked and fumbled through my story. It was the story of why I found this survivor’s group and the meaning of it to me.
I talked about my mom, my brother, and finally facing the loss of the man I loved and how it triggered something in me. People cried, people cheered me on, and people nodded in understanding. For the first time in years, I felt weightless.
When I was done, Reese stood up and led a standing ovation with tears pouring down her cheeks. Dad and Johnny looked equally as moved, but didn’t make a spectacle.
They stuck around, waiting for me to step off the small platform, then swarmed me with hugs and kisses. I held on until Dad started sniffling, claiming allergies. We agreed to meet at his house the next night, and everyone left as I mingled with the other members of the group.
I leave the building with lightness in my step, saying goodbye to a few of the other women and walking to my car.
There are two men leaning against my trunk, and I stop dead in my tracks. Not because I’m scared, but because I recognize Robbie and Tripp in the slight shadows.
“I carry a taser gun, pepper spray, and I know kung fu!” I shout gingerly.
They chuckle and come into the light with small grins.
“What are you doing here?”
Tripp gives me a head jerk then looks around, seeming bored. I’m not surprised. Since the night I broke down and Reese found me bawling on my floor, we haven’t spoken. Things were fragile after I left the hospital, but he was always cordial. However, the night Reese found me sobbing when she returned with groceries, she called him. He came over, got me in bed, and looked at me with raw hatred. His last words were, “You did this to both of you.”
Robbie, on the other hand, has been somewhat decent. I found a prenatal Yoga and Pilates class for Ember to attend at the gym and try to join her. He’s come in to watch and drive her home, but rarely makes eye contact.
So the two of them here is strange, but oddly, my mind doesn’t jump to conclusions.
“We listened to you tonight. It was eye-opening for us.”
Eye-opening? I spill my heart out, and these guys use the term eye-opening?
I try not to sound offended, but it comes off as bitchy. “Glad you had your eyes opened.” I walk past them to my car and toss my purse to the passenger seat. Before I can get in, Tripp clears his throat.
“You think Finn knows all that stuff?”