We run down the stairs hand in hand. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this exhilarated, amazing, blissful. And sore, of course, but that just makes it even better. We burst through the door and cannon straight into Anton.
‘Watch it, geezer … Rosie!’
It’s lucky there aren’t too many flies about because our combined open mouths would surely trap a few.
‘Ahhhhhhello,’ I say.
Dimitri holds out a bangly hand. ‘Good afternoon, I am Dimitri Zacharov, you are friend of Rosie?’
Anton, his glance passing rapidly between us as if he is watching a frenzied tennis rally, puts out an uncertain hand. ‘Er, yeah, Anton. Anton Smallbridge. Rosie?’
‘So where are you off to?’ I ask breezily. ‘Laser Zone? Sorry I couldn’t make it.’
‘Yeah, ’cos you were in there. What the fuck?’
‘You have a problem?’ Dimitri’s tone could be construed as menacing.
‘Actually, bro, I do. I was supposed to be meeting Rosie half an hour ago at Laser Zone. But it looks like she’s been in there with you. Any explanations gratefully received.’
‘Look, why don’t we go for a drink round the corner?’ I steer the pair of them across the flats to the pub.
‘So what is that place?’ Anton’s first question is a tricky one. After all, we aren’t supposed to share the secret.
‘It’s a club. A private members-only club.’
He stares at me. ‘How long have you been a member?’
‘A few weeks.’ I’m uncomfortable and I look for Dimitri’s hand to hold on to.
‘So all that time you were pretending to spy on it –’
‘I know. I wasn’t honest with you. But the managers don’t like you to tell people.’
‘Why? What kind of club is it? Illegal?’ He points at Dimitri. ‘Illegal immigrants?’
‘Hey, I am legal,’ he responds. ‘I pay taxes.’
‘Yeah, but who are you? And how do you know Rosie?’
‘Rosie is my girlfriend.’
‘But what … when …?’ Anton flounders to a messy halt.
I take a deep breath. ‘I met Dimitri outside the club last month. By chance, we managed to wangle an invitation from a member, so we decided to check it out. It’s a, a, a BDSM club.’
There. I’ve said it.
Anton frowns for a second, then stares. ‘What, like, bondage and all that?’
‘Yes, but please don’t tell anyone. It’s completely private. Nobody must know.’
‘Why not? It’s not against the law, is it? Or do they actually kill each other in there?’
‘No, they just prefer to keep it quiet, that’s all.’
Anton thinks about this for a moment, drinking deep of his pint. ‘You could have told me,’ he says. He sounds very hurt. ‘And you could have told me you had a boyfriend. Then I wouldn’t have … you know. Shit. I’m a twat.’
‘I’m sorry.’