“You what?” she asked with a smile.
“I sort of blew him?”
“Oh my God! Shut up!” She smacked my arm. “You little slut. How was it?”
“Girl, why didn’t you tell me how a-fucking-mazing it is to give head? And if his reaction was legit, I’m pretty a-fucking-mazing at it too.”
We dissolved into a fit of laughter. When we settled down, she asked, “What happened then?”
“We said goodbye. He left, and I sat on the floor by the door—wow, that rhymed. Anyway, I tried not to run after him, and this is where I messed up because…I like him, K. Like, really like him. I want this to be real, but I know it’s not, that it never will be.”
“How do you know that?”
“First, he works for my dad. I know what it’s like to love someone in the business. Plus, it’s weird. It probably makes me an asshole, but I’m…jealous, I guess. That he can be who my dad wants me to be.”
“You know your dad loves you. Yeah, maybe he had different ideas when you were younger, but he wants you happy and he always will. And don’t beat yourself up for feeling that way. It means you’re human.”
I nodded, hoping she was right. “Well, there’s also the fact that I’m me and he’s him.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He’s a little out of my league, don’t you think? I’m awkward and ramble and…” I doubted Will sat around feeling he wasn’t good enough for me either, so my self-esteem could use some work as well.
“We’ll get to that in a second. Did anything happen after you sat on the floor and realized you’re crazy about him?”
“I called him and heard his phone outside. He’d left and was coming back to tell me we should keep doing this.” She looked at me. Stared. Then started laughing. “What the fuck, K?”
I picked up a couch pillow and swatted her with it.
“You’re telling me you said goodbye, then he left and came back because he wanted you so much? You’re totally oblivious that he wants you, aren’t you? Jameson! I saw the way he looked at you on our walk. He’s enamored with you. He seriously will just sit there and stare at you with this little smile on his face, like…well, like how I now realize Ali used to look at me. He likes you too. And if something happens and he doesn’t see how incredible you are, then he’s not worth it, not you. You are the best person I know. You’re smart and hilarious and kind and gorgeous. I have a feeling Will sees all that, but I’ll admit, sometimes boys are dumb, so if he turns out to be dumb, just remember he sucks, not you.”
“I’m a guy too, so…”
“Yes, you can be ridiculous as well, which you’re being right now by thinking Will doesn’t or could never like you, but you’re my brother, so you’re forgiven. He’s risking his job for you. And the look on his face when your dad introduced Damian as your date? He was crushed. And that was nothing on how he looked when he came looking for you and thought you left with Damian. Don’t get it twisted, that boy is crazy about you, and I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t see that.”
“So violent,” I teased, before getting serious. “You really think so?”
“I do.”
God, I hoped she was right. But even if she was, that didn’t mean we didn’t have other things to worry about. I wasn’t sure how Dad would react to someone working for him dating me, and that made me feel guilty and worry about what all this could mean for Will.
I tried to push those thoughts aside for now. Things weren’t serious, and we were going to keep our fling a secret. If anything changed, then we’d have the discussion about Dad.
“So, I told you a little about me and Will…what about you and Ali?” I waggled my eyebrows at her.
“Oh. My. God. I didn’t know it could be so good. She does this thing with her tongue…”
And then we sat there, ate pizza, and shared sex stories. Who could you trust if not your best friend?
It was perfect, and I couldn’t wait to tell Will how good it felt to hang out with Kira like this. If that wasn’t a sign I was head over ass in crush with him, I didn’t know what was.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Will
It was the Fourth of July, and tonight would be our first night out with a group of friends, as a…fling. Shaw had been on my ass to hang out with me and Jameson, and I knew Kira had been similar with him. The difference was, Kira wouldn’t try to embarrass Jameson the way Shaw would me, and I was suddenly regretting doing the same when he met Elijah.