I grabbed the lube and shoved it at him. Shaw wet his fingers, knelt between my legs, and looked at me. “Christ, you are so goddamned beautiful.”
My cheeks heated. “So are you.” He pressed his finger against my entrance, and I said, “It’s been a while for me.”
“I’ll take care of you,” Shaw promised.
“I know.”
And he did. Shaw worked me open with one finger, then two. He watched me as he did so, kissing me and stroking me until my whole body was trembling and sweating and eager. My cock ached, and my thoughts spun. Why had we waited so long to do this? Why were we only now in this place?
I writhed beneath him as he rubbed my prostate, my toes curling into the blanket. “Please,” I begged.
“Look at you, E. Fuck, you want it.”
I grabbed him and tugged him down. His body was perspiring too, and we grinded together, kissing and gasping and savoring.
Tired of waiting, I grabbed the condom, opened it, and rolled it down his erection. I lubed my hand, wrapped it around him, and stroked.
“Fuck.” Shaw’s eyes rolled back.
“Let me roll over. I like it from behind.”
He nodded and did as I said. I lay on my stomach and bent one leg to the side as his hand caressed my ass. “Seriously, best ass ever. I wanted it even that first night in the club.”
I thought about my annoyance with him that night, then about how he jumped in and helped with Danny. It felt like an eternity ago, a different world. I didn’t know how we got from there to where we were, but I was glad.
Shaw knelt behind me, between my legs. He spread my ass cheeks with one hand, then pressed his cock against my hole and pushed in slowly. “Fuck,” he whispered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Christ, you’re tight. I’m seriously going to blow my load.”
“Don’t you dare.” I closed my eyes through the pressure, the initial discomfort that came with something inside me, and then he was buried deep and kissing my shoulder.
“You okay?”
“Perfect.”
He started to move, and everything else evaporated, the world narrowing to just Shaw and me…the way he felt against me, inside me, the feeling of his body rutting against mine, his lips on my skin, his mumbled words that I couldn’t make out.
He eased up some and pulled me to my knees before holding my hips and slamming into me. Each thrust sent the best sensation rushing through me, the feel of his cock hitting me just right, being connected to him this way.
I leaned down on one arm, ass in the air, and wrapped my free hand around my cock. I stroked fast in time with the pump of Shaw’s hips. My muscles began to tingle, and my vision went blurry. My legs shook and my balls drew tight as I cried out and shot all over my hand.
“Thank fuck,” Shaw said, then thrust harder into me before tensing and calling out in his own orgasm. His cock jerked inside me, and a minute later, he pulled out. I felt empty.
“Let me get rid of this. I’ll get something to clean you up,” he said, but I shook my head.
“Don’t. I like to be sweaty and come-y. Reminds me of what we did.”
“Christ, that’s hot.” Shaw tossed the condom in the trash, then came back to the bed. “Lean up.”
I did, and he pulled the blanket out from under me, then climbed in bed with me and pulled it over us. His arms wrapped around me, and he kept kissing me, nose, forehead, temple, shoulder, cheek, neck, like he couldn’t get enough.
“I saw my parents today,” he said softly. “They’re a mess. They were fighting, and they want me to fix it for them. It’s like they use me as their middleman, each wanting me on their side against the other, and it’s fucked, E. It screws with my head and makes me remember why I don’t want that, because I don’t want it to turn into what they have.”
“Just because that’s their relationship doesn’t mean it’ll be yours. You can’t let yourself run because you don’t want to be like them. You’re not your parents. Can’t you see that?” I pushed up on my elbows and looked down at him. “You’re not them. You care about people and help them. You protect them and spoil them.”
He wanted love. Like the Beast. Instead of anger, Shaw used sarcasm, but I saw him, imagined him trapped and scared and wanting more. I knew Shaw wanted to be loved.
“I don’t…and then this…us. It’s all tangled up in my head, and I don’t know how to loosen the knots.”
“I’ll help you. I’m not going anywhere. You gave up on yourself a long time ago, I think, but I’m determined. I’m not giving up on you, Shaw.”