“Yeah, same.”
“I’ll get it,” he said as I began pulling the food from the microwave. Elijah rummaged until he found the glasses, then got us ice water.
We dumped food onto plates, and then I said, “We can eat on the couch if you want.”
He nodded. “We can watch a movie too. It’s been forever since I saw Finding Nemo.”
We set our plates on the coffee table and began eating. “Are you making fun of me?”
“What? No! I would never.”
“You know, it’s not fair that you know my secret animated-movie fetish and I don’t know anything embarrassing about you.”
“There’s no reason to be embarrassed about that…but I see where you’re going. Hmm, let me think. Oh, I know. I’ll tell you something that not many people know, but I also don’t think it’s something to be embarrassed of.”
“I’m listening.”
He took a bite of his food, chewed, and swallowed. “I love historical-romance novels. Like, they’re basically my crack, only, you know, not a drug and good for you.”
I laughed. “Aw, why am I not surprised? That’s so cute, and also gives-me-a-toothache sweet. You’re such a romantic.”
“Eh.” He shrugged. “It’s a character flaw.”
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s not. I’ve teased you in the past, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting something more. With knowing what you want.” Which meant this thing with us was stupid and made no sense. I wasn’t what Elijah wanted. I didn’t know how to be.
For the first time that made me…sad. Made the loneliness inside me spread.
Elijah was looking at me with his brows pinched together and confusion in his eyes. He took a drink of his water, then shocked me when he climbed onto my lap, straddling me.
With his hands on either side of my face, he lowered his mouth to mine. My breath hitched and my limbs tingled as he slipped his tongue inside my mouth and kissed me deeply. My arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. My thoughts were too quick, too strong, the same two things running laps around each other.
This feels so good.
I’m fucked. I’m so fucking fucked.
But I didn’t stop. Food completely forgotten, I gave as good as I got, slipping my hand under his T-shirt and letting my fingers ride the dips and hills of his spine. He was warm and felt right, too right, and that made the voice in my head saying, I’m fucked. I’m so fucking fucked, get louder and louder.
Elijah tugged his shirt off, then leaned back and began working my pants. He pulled out my erection, tension leaking out of my body as he did so. I ached, my balls full, and then all thoughts were overshadowed by the need for release.
He pulled himself out too before spitting in his hand and rubbing our cocks together. He slid his hand over our crowns, adding precome to the mix.
Elijah jerked us off and kissed me, riding my lap as he did so. I felt like I was flying, like I was going to fall, and I didn’t know if I’d land safely. It was both frightening and invigorating.
My head dropped back as I cried out in orgasm. I shot all over his hand, our chests, and then Elijah was doing the same, our releases all over both of us. It was hot, and I couldn’t help but grab his face and pull him down for another kiss.
God, his lips. I’d never been super fond of kissing. I mean, it was all right, but it wasn’t real exciting. Kissing Elijah felt different. It was suddenly one of my favorite things.
“That felt good.” He rested his forehead against mine.
He felt good. What came out was, “How did it go with Danny?”
“It went fine, like I told you.”
Did you decide you have feelings for him again? Did he tell you how bad I am for you? Are you going to walk away from this before I do?
He cocked his head slightly, as if he could see I was freaking out inside. “I told him we’re hanging out. That I like you. That hasn’t changed. I, um…I also told him I used to think I was in love with him. We’re not… We both know we don’t belong together. I told him you’re actually sweet, and I have fun with you, and…well, I’m not inflating your ego by telling you more.”
When I breathed easily, I realized how hard it had been before. Like there was a weight on my chest as I waited for his answer. “That was enough.”
“He wants me to be happy. He said if I trust you, he trusts you. And I do…trust you, but I also want more…one day. Like we just said, you know what I want.”
“I do.” And fuck, the good feeling was slowly escaping, like I was a balloon with a pinprick hole.