She nodded glumly. “I know.”
“I would like to go with you to the ultrasound tomorrow.”
That wasn’t what Simone had expected him to say. She shook her head. “I’ve already explained why that’s not a good idea.”
“And I’ve already told you I want to be there.”
“Please don’t make this difficult.”
His gaze narrowed. “You’re the one who’s throwing up barriers. Are you saying it’s okay for us to sleep together but not to be seen in public?”
“Not at the hospital,” she muttered. She was still holding out hope that Hutch would be her date for the masquerade ball, although to be fair, they would all be wearing masks, so even then no one had to know Hutch and Simone were a couple. Sort of... Who was she kidding? The man had a serious presence and would be recognized—mask or no mask.
Usually in the wake of sexual satisfaction, men were relaxed and mellow. Hutch was livid. His jaw was carved from stone, and his brown eyes burned. “Okay then.” He reached for his own laptop, unplugged it and tucked it into the sleek leather briefcase monogrammed with his initials.
Simone frowned. “What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving.” He never even looked at her as he calmly gathered his pens and billfold and hospital ID.
Panic made her stomach cramp. “Why?”
“Don’t be naive, Simone.”
“Tell me,” she said, distraught. “The ultrasound is no big deal.”
&
nbsp; “I’m a doctor,” he said, the words colder than any she had ever heard him utter. “Of course it’s a big deal. But this is about more than ultrasounds, isn’t it? You’re making sure that no one but Janine knows we have any kind of connection. I was prepared to be a friend to you and these babies, but you don’t need any more friends, do you, Simone?”
She grabbed his arm as he started to walk out of the room. “I don’t want you to go,” she said. Her heart cracked along fault lines years in the making.
He shrugged her off. “You’re eating a suitable amount now. The nausea has subsided to manageable levels. There is absolutely no reason for me to remain. Or am I wrong?”
His gaze was impassive. Yet beneath his icy calm, she understood that he was daring her to do something. Anything.
The trouble was, she had no clue how he felt about her. Could she bear to have a relationship with him knowing the sainted Bethany would always be a ghost in their bed? And even if she could make peace with being second best, would Hutch ever want to be more than her friend? Was he interested in any kind of permanent role as stepparent?
Why would he be? He had the world at his feet.
During a split second when time stood still, mocking her indecision, she imagined and discarded half a dozen scenarios for her future. In none of them was there any real possibility that Hutch would be included.
So she tamped down her terror and her desperation and lifted her chin. “No,” she said quietly. “No reason at all.”
* * *
She had honestly thought she couldn’t sink any lower than the miserable days of severe nausea and collapse. But it turned out she was wrong. Watching a stern-faced Troy Hutchinson walk out of her house without a backward glance sent a knife through her chest.
The pain was so intense, she thought she might pass out. She clung to the counter, her breathing shallow and rapid, and tried to stop shaking. Life was so unfair. Why had Troy come back to her at such an inauspicious moment? Why did she still love him when he had left his heart in Africa?
Why had she ever thought her grandfather’s will was such a big deal?
In the space of a few weeks, all of her priorities had changed. It was a sobering realization to understand that every single one of her heartaches and heartbreaks was of her own creation.
She wasn’t able to sleep in her bed that night. Instead, she went to the guest room and curled up in a ball where Troy had lain. The sheets still smelled like him. She cried for an hour and then made herself stop. It was no longer possible to be the same self-centered, ego-driven woman she had once been.
By this time next year, she would have three infants living under her roof. Hutch or no Hutch, that was her reality. It would have been easy to blame the babies for her situation. Without them, perhaps she and Hutch might have found their way back together for good.
Even reeling from the afternoon’s trauma, she had to face the truth. Hutch was gone. The babies were here to stay. And she was their mama. Bless their hearts. Already, she knew they deserved better.