Minutes ticked away on the clock. Simone was a welcome weight against his body. Though she was too thin, and arguably not at her best, to him, she was as stunningly beautiful as she had ever been. Imagining her round belly in the advanced stages of pregnancy flooded him with an entirely inappropriate rush of arousal.
At one time, he had envisioned that scenario with pride and anticipation. Now everything was wrong. And he felt powerless to make it right.
Seven
“Enough, Simone,” he said firmly. “That’s enough.”
Gradually, she calmed. Except for the occasional tiny, hiccupping sob, the storm was over.
He played with her hair, plaiting it between his fingers. He didn’t touch her breasts. He wanted to... God knows he wanted to. But that would be too much temptation. He wasn’t prepared to throw all caution to the wind.
Pregnancy was the most natural thing in the world, and yet complicated. From teenagers who didn’t mean to get pregnant to full-grown women who craved a child and couldn’t conceive, the process was messy and fraught with pitfalls. He couldn’t imagine the toll this was taking on Simone emotionally.
He smoothed his palm over her back. “Better now?” he asked.
She nodded, sitting up and sniffling. Her damp eyes were sapphires framed in coal-black lashes. “Hutch.”
His name was a caress on her lips, a sweet, irresistible invitation. God help him. He slid his hands beneath her hair and steadied her head, tipping her mouth up for his kiss. He wanted her to stop him. He needed her to be alarmed and outraged. Instead, she leaned into him.
Their lips clung, mated. She tasted like toothpaste. “Sweet Simone,” he muttered, easing her onto her back. He moved half on top of her, his leg wedged between her thighs. She sighed and welcomed him, though her thin nightgown hampered her movements.
He kissed her forehead, her eyelids, her slender throat. Simone arched against him, her breathing ragged. When he made his way down to the place where the neckline of her gown covered her breasts, Simone stiffened for the first time.
Instinctively, he drew back. He was half out of his mind, but not so far gone he didn’t know when a woman said no. Verbal or body language, it didn’t matter.
She frowned. “Why did you stop?”
“I felt you tense up.”
“Not because of you.”
“Then why?”
“I don’t want to hurt the babies.”
He smiled, though it took an effort. “Nothing a man and a woman do in this situation is cause for alarm. I swear to you.”
She kept one hand on his shoulder, the other free to comb through his hair. The feel of her fingertips on his scalp made him shiver. “Hutch?”
“Yes?”
“I guess it’s obvious we both need this. But it won’t mean anything beyond tonight. It can’t.”
“Is that an ultimatum?” Why couldn’t the damn woman live in the moment? That was a lesson he had learned in Sudan when life was so very fragile and joy came only in fleeting snatches.
She rubbed her thumb across his cheekbone. “No ultimatum.” She sighed.
“Do you want me?”
“So much it hurts. Is that normal?”
“Many pregnant women find themselves with increased libido.”
Simone laughed at him. “You’re funny when you get all serious and medical.”
“Most people respect my position and my expertise.”
“Most people haven’t seen you naked.”