“I hope keg beer’s okay. We’re out of the hard stuff.” He plucks the hose while his friend pumps the keg, filling up the first cup for Valen. His friend takes the second one, filling it up for me.
“Matt, this is Shayne,” Liam says, nodding his chin at me. “My girl’s best friend.” Then he looks at me. “Matt goes to Northeastern.”
“Nice,” I say, unsure if I’m supposed to be impressed by that information, or if he’s just making small talk. “Congrats,” I tack on. I almost ask what they’re doing back in Sawyer Point instead of at some college party, but I keep it to myself, not wanting to offend. Matt’s the typical Bostonian, preppy frat boy with his long sleeves bunched up on his forearms, khaki shorts, Ken-doll hair, and boat shoes to top it all off. In other words, one million percent not my type.
He sends me a wink, handing me the cup. Liam tugs on Valen’s arm, taking an empty chair around the fire, before pulling her onto his lap.
“You still in high school?” Matt asks.
I nod.
“Very nice.”
I look away, uncomfortable with the way he leers at me. I stare out at the fire, hearing it crackle before it spits out a few embers that seem to disintegrate into the night sky. I’m hypnotized by the flames, the scent, the sound, as Matt drones on about something beside me. Something beyond the flames catches my attention, snapping me out of my eye lock.
Holden, Christian, and Thayer.
The sight of them together sends a jolt of sadness through me. Danny’s absence is almost tangible.
The three of them couldn’t be more opposite, each of them having their role. First, there’s Holden. The playboy. The comedian. Has a heart of gold somewhere underneath all that debauchery. Then there’s Christian. The athlete. On a fast track to success. Entirely too serious for someone our age. Has his entire future planned out. Lastly, there’s Thayer. The black sheep. The bad boy. He rejects his popularity, as if it’s a stain on his reputation, but despite that, he’s arguably the most coveted of the Ames boys. Or maybe because of it.
As if he can sense me looking at him, his eyes find mine through the fire. My breath hitches, heart stalling. I bring my thumb to my opposite hand, rubbing the faint raised scar on my wrist out of reflex. He seems shocked at first, as if he’s seeing a ghost. But then those eyes go cold and pass over me as if he didn’t see me at all. My throat gets tight as memories of forbidden love and loss and ultimately heartache hit me all at once. But I shove them down, closing my eyes to gain my composure.
He’s just a boy you used to know. You will not fall apart at the sight of him.
A hand on my shoulder breaks through my panic. “Are you okay?”
“Hmm?” I look over to see…what’s his name again? Matt. “Sorry.” I shake my head. “I spaced out.” Like a magnet, my gaze is being pulled back to Thayer, and Valen is suddenly at my side.
“I thought you said he was gone.” My voice is barely above a whisper.
“He was,” she says, sounding as confused as I feel. “I swear. I haven’t seen him for months.”
Thayer’s sitting in a folding chair with a girl draped across his lap sideways, her arm curled around his shoulders. Holden’s in the spot next to him, oblivious, getting his neck sucked on by a petite brunette in his lap.
“Maybe I should talk to them.” I nod to myself. “Rip off the Band-Aid. Right?” I ask, looking over to Valen for confirmation. It’s been almost a year. We’ve had time to move on. So why does it feel like only yesterday Thayer was rejecting me in the barn?
“Yeah,” she says, but she doesn’t sound convinced.
Before I can talk myself out of making what is sure to be a colossal mistake, I’m moving toward them.
When I come to a stop before them, neither one reacts. Thayer’s eyes lazily lift to meet mine, and there’s nothing but apathy shining back at me. His fingers glide up the girl’s thigh, and my eyes lock in on the movement, unable to look away. The hurt that slices through me catches me completely off guard, and my stomach twists with jealousy. I feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes, but there’s no way I’ll let them fall. I’m not the girl I was last year. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
“Umm…” A feminine voice snaps me out of it. “Who is she?” she asks Thayer.
“No one.” He says the words casually, but I know they’re meant to hurt me. And they do.
“Can I talk to you for a second?”
Holden’s eyes shoot open at the sound of my voice before narrowing mischievously. Christian ignores my presence altogether as he pretends to listen to something Chris Baker says.
“Talk,” Thayer says, his fingers continuing their path on her bare thigh.
I swallow hard, trying to look away.
“Alone?” I try again.
“As you can see, I’m busy.”