Well, he'd be the expert on his crazy friend. "So that's all it was?"
"That's all it was. I promise."
I slide forward and reach out to take his hand. I grip it in mine and give it a squeeze. "Thanks, Kaspar. It means a lot to me that you're looking out for me."
He doesn't pull his hand out of mine, and I'm strangely reluctant to let him go, too. His hand is enormous compared to my own, but there's a strength in it that's edged with gentleness. More than that, I realize how much I've missed human touch (so to speak) in this last week. Back on the ship, Jade and Helen were constantly hugging us. Ruth wasn't much of a hugger, but she'd reach out and squeeze your hand to reassure you when you were nervous. We were all together, and I didn't realize how much we'd relied on each other for moral support and comfort. Holding Kaspar's hand right now reminds me that I've missed that.
If I wasn't worried that he'd misinterpret things, I'd crawl right over to his bunk and cuddle up against his side. But he's a man, and to men, I'm just a convenient pocket.
Kaspar squeezes my fingers. "I need to tell you something, Alice."
Oh no. Here we go. I pull away from him, letting defeat color my tone. "What now?"
He rubs his ear, and to my surprise, his cheeks look stained with color. "You shouldn't touch a mesakkah's tail. It's…sensitive."
Oh. Oops. "Did I tickle you? I'm sorry. Is it like touching an ear?" I can't help but notice he keeps rubbing his.
The color on his cheeks deepens. "It's more like touching a cock."
"Oh shit," I breathe, utterly startled. I think about how I clutched his tail as he talked to Bethiah, trying to deal with her…and break into a fit of giggles. To think that I've been griping at him about intimidating me into sex and here I am giving him a tail-handy unknowingly. It strikes me as utterly hilarious, and I can't stop laughing.
"It's not funny," Kaspar says, scowling.
"It's a little funny," I retort. Still chuckling, I relax just a bit. If I was all over his tail and he still said nothing and didn't act on it, that means I'm safe with him, no matter what. He's not out to rape me. The last of my tension slides away and I let out a deep sigh. "I won't do it again."
His mouth crooks into a half-smile. "I didn't say you couldn't do it again."
I wag a finger at him. That smile of his is adorable and roguish, and I'm surprised at how attractive I find it. Deep space must be getting to me if I'm noticing how an alien looks. Ever since I was stolen, they've always been big devil-like monsters with horns and strange plating and harsh faces. I suppose all of that's still true, but when Kaspar smiles, he looks just like any other guy cracking a joke.
I must really, really be hard up for touch right now, because part of me wonders what he'd do if I crawled over to his side of the bunk and just snuggled up against his side. Would he push me away? Grope me? Or just let me cuddle because I'm lonely?
I'm not brave enough to find out, though. I hop off my bunk and head for the teeny-tiny lavatory. I'm pretty sure I can still smell that cleaner in my pores. "I'm going to wash up."
That, and I don't trust myself to keep sitting across from him while he smiles at me.
"You do that," Kaspar says softly.
9
KASPAR
I flex the hand that she touched, still thinking about how soft her fingers were in my grip, how dainty she felt. How she'd smiled at me as if I'd saved her from a fate worse than death and she was utterly grateful. I wonder if she smiles at her lovers like that.
Not that I'll ever know. The moment she released my hand, Alice went to go wash off my scent. It's clear she still finds aliens repulsive. I can't blame her, even if it doesn't help my ridiculous growing infatuation with her. It's just our close quarters, I tell myself every time I wake up in the night to check on that golden head of hers, to make sure that she's sleeping.
We're stuck in here, together, and I can't stop thinking about her. About what she'd feel like underneath me. About what her “human mouth” can do, just like she teased. I can't stop thinking about what she'd look like when she climaxed. Would she be noisy? Or would she be quiet, just watching me with those pale eyes full of adoration as I pump into her?
I muffle a groan, glancing over at the lavatory door. She's still in there, and I can hear the sonics going. She's cleaning off. Even though the sonic cleanser is fast, I think the little human likes the heat of it, because she's always in there for longer than necessary. I rub the aching bulge in my trou, willing my cock to go down, but it only gets harder, because now I'm imagining Alice naked. Alice and her lithe body without a stitch of clothing on. Alice running her hands over those small breasts of hers…