When Sunday arrived, I came up with some kind of crazy lie to tell my mom about where I was going and I was out the door to meet Jessie at Earl’s garage. When I pulled up to meet him, I was actually on time, but he had still beat me there. He got out of his truck and walked over to my driver’s side window. My heart almost stopped because I thought maybe he had rethought the whole asking me to go thing, but he asked, “Do you mind if we take your car? I think it’s best we don’t leave a fancy convertible with an expensive sound system unattended in Collinsville,” he advised.
“I see your point,” I agreed.
He went back and locked up his truck, then got into my car with me. “It’s going to be interesting to see their reaction to you today.”
That sounded like a little bit of a warning. “Should I be scared or something?”
I put my car in reverse and backed up while he answered, “No, they will be fine once they see how you are.”
“And how am I exactly?” I asked.
He hesitated as I begin to drive forward, and I briefly thought he wasn’t going to answer me at all, but then he softly said, “Wonderful.”
It was one of those moments that deserved a kiss if we had been dating, but we weren’t, and it felt painfully obvious at the moment so I wanted to change the subject. “Will we stay at their foster parents house or will we take them somewhere?”
“I’m hoping we can take them out somewhere. The Stevens’ are very nice, but it’s a little awkward trying to interact with Harley and Ozzy normally when I’m the oddball in their home.”
I could understand how that would make him uncomfortable. “Have they allowed you to take the boys out before?”
“Yeah. They let me have them for a few hours on their birthday. There’s exactly one year difference in their ages because they have the same birthday.”
“Oh, that’s neat. How long ago was it that you got them?”
He paused, then said, “It was the day after I spent the night with you.”
No matter how I tried to change the subject to something safe, it always came back to remind me how weren’t together anymore, but how desperately I wanted to be again.
When we pulled up at the house where Harley and Ozzy lived, I saw two little heads bobbing up and down in a big window at the front of the house. I laughed at the sight and said, “I think I just spotted two little boys eager to see their big brother.”
“I have to admit I’m eager to see them, too. It’s been too long.”
The front door slung open and two of the cutest little boys came running across the lawn, nearly tackling Jessie right there in the grass. He picked them up and swung them both at the same time. “Ooooh, I missed you guys so much!”
“We missed you too, Jess,” the bigger one of the two said.
He put them down and the smaller one chimed in and said, “You told us you would come back and you did.”
“I always keep my promises, don’t I?” he asked.
“Yes,” they answered simultaneously.
“Now, I have someone I want you to meet.” I walked over to the boys and squatted down on their level as Jessie introduced me. “This is Claire.”
I put out my hand for a shake and the older boy took it. “You must be Harley. I’ve heard some very good things about you.”
“Are you Jessie’s girlfriend?” he asked suspiciously.
Jessie saved me by saying, “Claire is my friend and I wanted her to come meet you and Ozzy because she is very special to me.”
Harley giggled and said, “That means she’s your girlfriend.”
Jessie looked at me and shrugged like he was going to let that one go so I did, too.
Ozzy was hiding behind Jessie’s leg peeking his head out at me. I squatted even lower to speak to him because Jessie had told me he had a tendency to be shy around people he didn’t know. I spoke softly as I said, “Hello, Ozzy. It’s very nice to meet you.”
He came running out from behind Jessie’s leg and launched himself on me, giving me a hug I wasn’t expecting, but one I welcomed. I put my arms around him and smiled at Jessie when I saw the amazed look on his face. Ozzy hopped up on my hip and put his head on my shoulder like an oversized toddler, but I let him because it seemed to make him happy.
“He never does that with anyone. I’m not sure he has ever hugged Mrs. Stevens that way and he’s been living with her for months.”
“I guess he’s like his brother. He has great taste in girls,” I laughed.
A couple appearing to be in their mid-thirties walked out of the house after giving us a few minutes with the boys. “Hi, Jessie. It’s good to see you, again. Harley and Ozzy have really been looking forward to seeing you today and I see you have a friend with you. I’m Heather and this is my husband, Brian.”
I offered the hand not holding Ozzy up on my hip and introduced myself. After we briefly discussed when to return the boys, we left with them and headed toward the park.
I occasionally looked into my rearview mirror at the boys sitting so tall in their booster seats. It felt a little strange to have children in my car and I laughed at myself when I realized I was driving super slow. I looked in the mirror at what beautiful little boys Harley and Ozzy were and wondered how a mother could care so little about them.
I reached over and touched Jessie’s leg just because I wanted to and said, “I packed a picnic lunch in case we got to take them out. I didn’t mention it earlier because I didn’t know what to expect, but it’s in the trunk. It’s just sandwiches, chips and drinks because I didn’t know what they liked. Nothing special.”
I looked forward as I drove, but I could see him looking at me and I briefly turned to him before putting my eyes back on the road. “Is that not okay?” I asked.
He reached for my hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the top of my hand and grazed it along his face, then whispered, “I know it’s not part of the friend pact, but I have to tell you something. I love you more right now than I ever have. No one has ever done anything like that for them.”
Wow. Never dreamed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches would make him break the friend pact like that. It was a little surprising how such a simple act could mean so much to him and it gave me a glimpse into how terrible his childhood must have been.
As we sat under a large tree on a blanket, I divvied out the food. “Jessie brought us a birthday cake and we ate it at the picnic tables, but I’ve never had a real picnic on the ground before,” Harley said before he took a bite of his sandwich. Although his mouth was full of sandwich, he continued, “I like this a lot.”