“Sounds good to me.”
Sitting in the booth sipping on her Coke, Lauren seemed awfully quiet and deep in thought.
“Mom, I know you want to say something. Go ahead.”
Lauren sighed, and Alyssa again noticed the bags under her mother’s eyes. They were growing darker. “Sweetie, I know South Fork is a far cry from what we’re used to—“
“You could say that again …”
“But I think I’m done shuffling you around. It wasn’t fair of me to do that, so I want to make a home here in South Fork.”
Alyssa giggled. “Of all places, Mom? Seriously?”
“Yeah, why not? Who knows, you may like the small town. The people seem really nice, and I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I like that it’s off the beaten path.”
“I guess … But how do I know you’re not going to get the itch to move again?”
She placed a gentle hand over Alyssa’s and looked her straight in the eyes. “You have my word.”
“Another thing—you know I don’t regret having you, I never have, but it hasn’t been easy, baby. I don’t want that for you, so make sure you keep your head in the books and your grades up. You understand me? I want better for you.”
Her shoulders sagged. Alyssa’s heard this speech for the past couple of years. It always started with, ’You know I don’t regret’, but how could she believe her mother’s words if she started the conversation the same every time? That part of the speech bothered her and she wished her mom would leave it out. It was almost like she was saying she didn’t want her. As if it was Alyssa’s fault her mom got pregnant at sixteen.
She tried to make light of the subject. “Note to self: Don’t follow my mom’s footsteps. Got it.”
“I’m serious, Alyssa. Stay focused on school. Don’t fall for the charm and sweet talking the way I did. I was young and naïve, I didn’t know any better. Just because you’re over eighteen now doesn’t mean anything either. If you screw around, there will be consequences to pay just like there was for me. I barely make it to support both of us, and now we don’t have anything to fall back on like we used to.”
As if that was what she wanted to do? “Mom, I’m well aware of that.”
Lauren looked into her glass, moving the straw. “I just wished I would have planned better and saved money. Now we’re starting over and it’s my fault.”
Alyssa could feel the pain in her mother’s voice. She didn’t want her to feel bad. “It’s okay, mom. You gave me everything I wanted.”
Lauren probably wasn’t the best role model, but Alyssa knew she did her best and didn’t fault her. Her mom had had more boyfriends than fingers to count on. But when she found out that her current flavor of the month was actually married with children? That was the final straw. It broke her mother, and one month later they were gone.
“Except stability. I moved you around too much. I was selfish.”
“Eh. Who cares? It’s been fun. I can call myself a world traveler.” She laughed, hoping to show her mom that she was happy.
Regrets plagued her mother’s mouth, thin lines curved the corners, and it was the first time she noticed them. She put on a front every time she looked at her and she wasn’t sure what to think of it.
Here they were in a small town eating pizza while her mother preached about stability and preventing babies. The two things her mother could never master.
He knew it. He knew she’d be walking alone.
John specifically left his house early because he had a feeling Alyssa didn’t have a ride to school.
Idling slowly up next to her, John rolled down the window. “Jump in.”
Alyssa didn’t hesitate. She flung the door open and jumped inside. Her mother told her she would drive her last night when they got home from having pizza, but working a double wore her down and Alyssa didn’t have the heart to wake her up. So she started walking to school. She was actually grateful John stopped to pick her up.
John said nothing, just turned up the music as he drove. It was on the tip of his tongue to say something about her not taking rides from him, but he left it. Something was going on with Alyssa. He could feel it the moment she stepped foot in his truck without giving him a hard time. He noticed her reflection in the passenger mirror as she stared out of the window. Her lips were puckered together and her arms were crossed firmly against her chest.
Ten minutes later they were pulling into the school parking lot. John put his truck in park and said, “Give me your phone.”
“What? Why?”
“Don’t ask me questions. Just hand it over.”