"Just get back to mopping the storeroom, loser. You were so keen on it before." I stared at him. Any normal person would get the hint or pick up that something was going on but not Mark. He was just oblivious.
Although, if he went back to the storeroom, it'd be just Holden and me. Alone in the bar. That was exactly what I didn't want. I needed to avoid being in the same room as him ever again.
Mark noticed the ice-filled towel under my hand and then Holden's jaw.
"Oh, you're getting some ice for him." With that, Mark picked up the towel and handed it to Holden before I could stop him. That was my ice and my hand still hurt.
There was no way out of this situation. I could either be in the bar with Mark who’d turned into a fan-boy all over Holden or get rid of Mark and have to deal with Holden on my own. There was one other option, considering there were far too many people in the bar already.
"Okay, get him a drink. And, while you're at it, clean up the mess behind the bar. The whole place reeks of whiskey." I untied my apron and threw it on the counter. "I'm out of here."
As I walked through the bar, Holden reached out to grab my arm. I knew that trick only too well though and dodged his touch. I wasn't strong enough. If he made contact with me, I’d lose any control I had.
There was only one way I knew of to deal with Holden and that was to put as much distance between us as possible. Holden played my weaknesses and my biggest weakness of all was the way my body ached for him.
Chapter 3
WHEN I GOT OUTSIDE, I ran as fast as I could in my chunky boots. Why was he back? How long did he intend to stay? The pounding of my feet on the concrete echoed my darkest thoughts. I wanted to outrun all the bad memories in my head. I wanted to put distance between me and my worst nightmare.
I could not be around that man. If let my guard down for even a second, he’d reclaim his grip on me. It had taken me so long to rebuild my life after he’d left and the rebuilding was as frail as some shit construction a kid made with wooden blocks. The slightest bump could have it crashing down to a shattered pile.
Maybe he was just passing through town on his way to important rising rock star business and decided to drop by. There was no reason for him to hang around. I slowed down so my brain could work through this. What would a successful rocker be doing coming into our bar? Not for the atmosphere, that's for sure. He was definitely just passing through. And wanted to fuck with me.
He might be gone by the time my shift officially started. I just had to cool my heels for a few hours.
That was easier said than done. I had no idea how to kill time. I could go home and play PlayStation for a few hours but he knew where I lived. He could turn up there. I was better off being somewhere anonymous.
I’d left my gym gear at the bar or I’d head there and smash these feelings out of my body. That'd be the best thing. A few rounds with the bag... Hell, that was even out of the question because Holden King’s stupid face had messed up my fist.
The whole concept of killing time outside the club was so weird to me. Usually, I was either at home or at the gym or working.
I wandered around the shops in the middle of town but everything was so boring, all chain stores with nothing I wanted even if I could afford to spend money on clothes. Most of the clothes I had came from op shops and most of the places I went to were over the other side of town. I wasn't in the mood to head over there.
I couldn't even ring Violet to hang out because she was busy. Damn her and her new-found love.
The business districts weren't that far from Trouble but they were a whole other world. People walking around in their suits, talking on their phones like they were super important.
I headed into a shop. They had some ugly shoes but I'd forget about Holden and try to imagine what it'd be like being one of those important people. I’d have a job in a high-rise office and have to file and photocopy stuff and whatever else it was people did in offices. I’d wear a suit and have long, shiny hair. And I’d never, ever get emotional enough to punch anyone.
As I picked up a pair of bubble-gum pink boots, someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I jumped in the air and let out a scream. He'd found me? How could he? The fantasy of me as a super organized business person fell away as my chest tightened. I dropped the boots back on the table and got ready to run.
When I turned, though, it was Gina. She was a regular at the bar.
"Sorry, Carlie. I didn't mean to scare you."
I smiled at her, hoping to reassure her. "No worries, I was just lost in thought."
"I don't think those boots will suit you. What are you doing in this part of town?”
At least Gina could take my mind off things and I'd been meaning to question her about her involvement with Jackson. The cynical, ex-guitarist bar fly and this shy girl were the most unlikely combination I could think of but they seemed to be spending a bit of time together lately. Idle curiosity about other people’s lives is the best way to deal with your own life falling apart.
"Want to grab a coffee? I have a bit of time until my shift starts."
She headed to some generic coffee shop with light wood furniture and bright lighting. Not the kind of place I'd pick myself but their cakes sure looked tasty. I rarely indulged in sweets because I trained too hard but that chocolate cake might help settle the emotional turmoil inside me.
When we got settled in, I asked her about Jackson.