She looked tired and frail, but so much better than the last time I had seen her. She was alive and that made me so happy.
“Hi,” she said softly.
“Brianna doesn’t remember any of us,” Erik said as he brought a tray of food to her and sat down with us.
I wanted to avoid Erik, but I wanted to catch up with Brianna so much more. I had cried all night the evening she had been taken to the hospital. I cried for her, for her husband, for her children. It had been the first time such a thing had happened while I was working and I would absolutely never forget it.
“I’m sorry, he’s right. I don’t even remember being here,” her soft voice said as she pushed the food around on her plate.
“It’s okay,” I replied in the most upbeat voice I could manage. “I’m Cassidy. I sat with you when you first got here. You told me about your three daughters.”
She smiled at me and then started to sob. I looked at Erik to see what I had said wrong, but he just shrugged his shoulders like he didn’t know either. One of the worst feelings in the world was when a patient was crying and I didn’t know how to help them. It was my job to help people and feeling helpless wasn’t something I did very well.
“I’m such a horrible person,” she wailed.
“No, you’re not horrible. None of us are horrible. We are just doing the best we can,” Erik said and gently touched Brianna’s hand.
He was so kind to her, nothing like he had been the first day I had met him. Everything about Erik seemed more genuine as he sat there consoling this young mother. I watched as he talked with Brianna and did his best to help her feel better. She really listened to him and after a few minutes, seemed to be feeling a little better.
“I’ll check in with you guys later,” I said as I excused myself.
“Good job, you made her cry again,” Kaitlin said as I stood at the nurses’ station with my back to the group.
“I just said that she told me about her daughters that first day she was here.”
“It’s okay, she’s been crying all night long. I got a report on her when I arrived and it seems like she didn’t sleep much. But her husband rode with her in the ambulance over here and he was really sweet and encouraging. I don’t know, but I really hope she can get a hold of her issues.”
“What do you mean?”
“Apparently, she had been stealing from a local liquor store, has some legal charges and stuff. A lot of really embarrassing things for her and her husband. But he’s sticking by her. That’s a pretty good guy.”
“Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t talk to her today. I don’t want to make her cry again.”
“Hell no, you are assigned to her, Erik, and Brad today. Brad is going home tomorrow and he’s a mess, too. Erik’s going to be easy, though. He just moved into a room with a door, so he’s pretty happy about that.”
“Wow, I’m off the unit for a couple of days and everything changes. Who is staying for the holiday? I promised Mr. March I would send him a list so he knows how to staff for the next couple of days.”
“Well, on this unit, I think it’s just Brianna and Erik.”
It always made me sad that anyone had to stay at our facility during the holiday. It wasn’t a happy place at all when all the other patients were gone and only one or two staff members were around. But it was the reality of many people’s lives.
“Yeah, Brianna definitely isn’t well enough, but that’s sad that she won’t get to be with her daughters. But why is Erik staying?”
“I’m not sure,” Kaitlin said as she went back to work. “I think he told Susan that he doesn’t have a family.”
My heart sank. Erik hadn’t really been open about his home life, but I thought he had some people who cared about him. Erik had almost finished a whole month of treatment, getting out for a few days would have given him some motivation to get through the second half of his inpatient recovery.
As I sat down at the computer to type the message to Mr. March, I looked up and saw Erik with his arm gently around Brianna’s back. He was consoling her still, like a brother or friend would do. She really needed that, and I couldn’t help but be even more endeared to Erik.
As I started to type, I decided to go talk with Erik first and just confirm that he wasn’t going to be leaving. Certainly, he had to have a friend or someone else in his life that he wanted to spend the holiday with. I didn’t want to tell Mr. March that Erik would be staying if there was someone in his life who could take him in. That was the same way for any other patient who was there who had finished as much treatment as Erik had. Spending time with loved ones was necessary if they could manage it.
“When you get a minute, I need to talk to you about the holiday,” I said softly as I stood next to him at the table.
“It’s okay. I’m going to go lie down,” Brianna excused herself and then quickly went to her room.
It was as if she had been waiting for an excuse to leave the day area and go hide away. There would be a lot of excitement going on today on the unit so it was probably best that she rested and gathered her energy. At least she was safe and through her detox, but even though her body was safe, the recovery process had just started.
“Kaitlin says that you don’t plan on going home with your family for the holiday?”