"I still don't get what the problem is," I said. "So, we only work for one candidate. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is that Metzler isn't really giving us an option, Cam," Leo said. "He's gotten a hold of our financials and he knows all about you."
"How the hell did he get that information, Leo?" I asked as I felt the anger rising. "This was the one reason why I didn’t want to move forward with this idea, and now you're telling me that it's turned out exactly the way I'd feared it would?"
"I don't know how he got it, Cam," Leo said as he moved away from the window and walked to his desk. "I had the lawyers bury it so deep that it would have taken dynamite to uncover it."
"Obviously, Metzler has the necessary explosives," I said bitterly. "Dammit, Leo. I never wanted to go down this road!"
"I know, I know," he said as he dug through a stack of papers and pulled out one sheet. He handed it to me saying, "Look, we can make this work. We can just choose to work with Metzler. The contract is unbelievably generous, and it'll get our name out there for future business."
"What if I don't want to do this, Leo?" I asked. "What happens if I say no?"
"Metzler releases the financials and exposes us in the media," Leo said quietly. "I'm sorry, Cam."
"This is fucked up, and you know it," I said, looking down at the sheet detailing the proposed contract with Metzler's campaign. The amount of money they were willing to pay us for security services bordered on obscene. I looked at Leo. "What in the hell? This figure is more than we would have made from all four campaigns."
"I know." He nodded. "Can't we just take it and run with it, Cam?"
"What? And then be another one of the companies that Richard Metzler bought off on his way up the political ladder?" I asked. "Hell no!"
"Cam, we don't have a choice," Leo pleaded. "We have to take the offer or we'll be exposed."
"No, you've got it all wrong, my friend," I said, shaking my head. "We won't be exposed, I will. And that makes all the difference in the world."
"Cam, I didn't do this on purpose!" Leo yelled. "I really did think that making the move into campaign security was a profitable decision!"
"But you didn't think it all the way through and anticipate every possible outcome!" I shouted. "You didn't think about my life at all!"
"No, I didn't!" Leo yelled, then backing down a bit, he collapsed into his chair and rubbed his eyes before looking up. When he did, I could see the anguish. "I didn't think of you this time, Cam. That's true. But it's because for the past decade I've thought of nothing but you. All day, every day. I think about how every decision will affect you. How every deal will affect you. What about me? When is it my turn to think about me, Cam?"
"Leo, you knew the deal when you took the job," I protested.
"I did, indeed." He nodded. "But it's been ten years, Cam. At what point are you going to let go of the memory and start living? Because until you start living in the world again, I can't."
"Leo..." I said, not knowing how to respond to his raw honesty. He was right on some level. I had been living a life closed off from the rest of the world as I tried to absorb the enormous loss, but now I wondered if it wasn't time to open up a bit and pull down some of the protective walls I'd built. I sank down into one of the soft chairs that faced his desk and dropped my face into my hands.
"Cam, look, I've done everything you've ever asked me to," Leo said quietly. "And I've never complained, but now..."
Leo got up out of his chair, walked around the desk, and perched on the edge of it. He leaned forward and rested his hand on my shoulder.
"But now it's time to come out of the shell and start living again, my friend," he said. There was sadness in his voice, but it was mixed with a bit of hope around the edges. It was as if he thought that he could shock me out of my years of sadness, and maybe he could.
"How am I going to handle this?" I asked as I shrugged off his hand and rubbed my head until my hair was a tangled mess. "We need a plan, Leo. Victor Vangel is going to try to ruin me just out of spite if we don't have a plan."
"Then let's sit down and draw one up and release the information," he said with a hopeful smile. "On our terms, in our own way."
"This is gonna suck, Leo," I said as I sat up and looked at him shaking my head as I played out the scenario. "The guys at the station are gonna be pissed that I kept this a secret, and the news media is going to turn it into a circus. I can't do this."
"You can do it, Cam," Leo said. "You can and you will. And once you do it, you'll be free from it all for good."
"Maybe that's what I'm afraid of," I muttered as I watched Leo grab a notepad and some pens and move over to the conference table in the corner of the room.
"Maybe it is, but if Vangel or Metzler is going to release the information, you've really got nothing to lose at this point, do you?" he said as he began sketching out a diagram for how we could break the news and maintain control of the flow of information.
Two hours later, I looked up from the rough draft of the report we'd created and, for the first time in a very long time, I smiled at the prospect of telling people what was going on in my life. I’d told Leo a million times that we should hire a PR p
erson to do this work, but he insisted that we were better able to handle our own PR and, besides, he didn’t trust anyone who was able to spin the story better than he was able to.