"Oooooh, this is looking up!" She laughed and then when she saw the serious look on my face stopped and patted my shoulder. "Awww, don't get worked up about it, kiddo. I'm just teasing you."
"I know, but I'm not a total prude, you know," I said defensively. "I have needs, too."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She nodded, biting into the other half of the cream cheese covered bagel and getting the creamy white topping all over her nose. "I know you do. You're just better at keeping those needs at bay than the rest of us. I'm jealous of your ability to delay gratification, actually."
"You are?" I asked, surprised by this revelation.
"Hell yeah, I am," she said. "I'm impulsive; an in-the-moment girl who can't deny herself anything. Gets me into trouble a lot, but you know that."
"Are you in trouble, Liz?" I asked, grateful for the chance to swing the conversation in her direction.
"Nah, I'm good," she said, waving me off. "I'm just...you know. Me."
At that moment, Professor Jackson entered the room and signaled the start of class. She began class with a lecture on the lymphatic system and the ways in which it functions as a filter for all kinds of bacteria and debris that enters the body. I spent the hour taking copious notes and redrawing the diagrams Professor Jackson created on the board.
At the end of class, I looked over and saw that Liz had put her head down and fallen asleep on the desk. Irritated with her inattentiveness, I poked her awake knowing that later she'd be borrowing my notes to study for the exam.
"Miss Baker, I'd like to have a word with you," Professor Jackson said as we pulled on our coats and prepared to head over to the anatomy lab. "You may go on along to the lab, Miss Pierce."
I gave Liz a concerned look as she shrugged, then I walked out into the corridor and waited for her. Something wasn't right with Liz, but b
y the time she walked out of the classroom, she'd regained her sassy manner and spent the walk over to the lab mimicking Professor Jackson's academic concern. She had me giggling until I couldn't control myself as my doubts about her slipped away.
"So, tell me about the boy," Liz said over lunch once we'd finished our anatomy lab assignment. "Was he a good kisser?"
"Mmm hmm." I nodded with a mouth full of peri peri chicken. I swallowed, and said, "He was an incredibly good kisser. I wanted more, but the alarm broke it up, and then when he drove me home it didn't feel right, you know?"
"No, I do not know," Liz said as she picked at the cucumber salad. "If I want to have sex, I have sex. I don't have this weird guilt thing going on. Where does that even come from?"
"Probably the church," I mumbled as I put another forkful of chicken in my mouth.
"Ah, I see, that's why I have no guilt." She grinned. "No church doctrine to cloud my upbringing."
"It wasn't all bad, Liz," I said, feeling both guilty and ashamed. I hated this mix of feelings and had fought it my entire adult life. I always felt like I was fighting a battle against corruption and freedom to make my own choices, and I never felt like I won, even when I made good decisions. "It's just that..."
"Just that you wanted to take him upstairs, strip him naked, and have your way with him, and you let the guilt take hold and drive him away?" she asked in her blunt way. "Look, there's nothing wrong with making healthy choices, Alex. I'm not saying you should hop in bed with every guy who crosses your path. In fact, don't do that. It's not healthy, but you are an adult female with a sex drive, and occasionally you're going to meet men who seem like they would be good at taking care of your needs. Don't shy away from those guys."
"You make it sound so easy," I said as I picked up a sweet potato fry and popped it in my mouth. "It's not always so clear cut. Plus, I don't want a guy I like to think I'm easy."
"Oh, please, give me a break," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm sick and tired of that double standard that says that men always want sex and women are just waiting for Mr. Right. That's bullshit, and you know it. This is the twenty-first century; we're allowed to have sex when and where we want to so long as it's safe, sane, and consensual."
"Where do you learn these things, Liz?" I laughed. "It's like you've been studying sex and writing lectures."
"Maybe I have been," she said, grinning as she finished the food on her plate and gave me a mischievous grin. "I want ice cream. Let's go get some!"
We stopped at Jenny's for scoops of the infamous salted caramel ice cream, and Liz gave me her lecture of responsible sexual behavior. She had some good points, and by the time she had finished, I was fairly sure that I'd convinced myself that sex with Cam Connor was a stellar idea.
"Oh shit," Liz said as we were finishing up our treats. "Here comes the human wrecking ball and her two chains."
"Well, fancy seeing you two here," Violet said with a smile that told me she wasn't at all glad to see either of us. As usual, she was impeccably dressed and not a hair was out of place. "I would have thought you'd be at the library studying given your performance on the last test, Baker."
"Yeah, well, I believe in taking my chances rather than jamming my nose up the professor's ass to ensure my grade," Liz shot back. Violet and her friends gasped before frowning disapprovingly. I wondered if they practiced the expressions so that they could do it in unison.
"I don't have to brown nose, Baker," Violet sniffed. "I received a good education, unlike some people."
"Yes, Violet, we're all very aware of the fact that your daddy has more money than God and can buy you the best of everything," Liz said, licking her spoon obscenely, sending a shock wave through the small group yet again. "It's really too bad he couldn't invest some of that money in a personality or a soul for you."
"You're a terrible person," Jessica Watkins hissed as she grabbed Violet's arm and tried to pull her away from the table.