So, I did nothing. I went to work every day and went through the motions of my life. Bethany and I didn’t really talk anymore. I’d forgiven her, but I couldn’t forget. Her betrayal hurt me deeply, mostly because it had hurt Jace.
I knew that I couldn’t live like that forever. Carla was the only person I had to talk to and that was only on the phone. She was as supportive as she could be, but the second I hung up with her, I was reminded once more of how alone I really was. I’d never been so confused or felt so empty in my life…and considering my life, that was saying a lot.
I was working double shifts to keep busy, but was dead on my feet. I finally kept my day off. I had to get some rest; I was running on nerves and lots of caffeine.
Speaking of which, I had just gotten out of the shower and finished my coffee and was thinking about what I needed to get done when there was a knock on the door. I went over and looked out the hole.
Jace’s beautiful face was there and he was smiling. He looked…radiantly happy. I pulled it open, and I had to remember to breathe.
“Hi…” I had barely got the word out before he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.
At first, I was so overwhelmingly happy to know he still wanted me that I responded. I reveled in the feel of his hands on my body, his lips on mine, and his tongue in my mouth. God, I loved kissing him. It took me several seconds to get a reign on rational thought and my anxiety returned.
What is he doing? People will see us! He’s under investigation! I felt panic well up in my chest. They could be watching us right now. I pulled my lips away and grabbed his arm. I pulled him inside the apartment and slammed the door behind him. I know I was looking at him like he was crazy; I thought he’d lost his mind.
But, he was still smiling. “Are you insane?” I finally said when I caught my breath and found my voice.
He laughed and I thought, Maybe he’s drunk. “No,” he said, “I’m not insane. At least, not much. I have good news, though.”
My fear was replaced by hope instantly. “Oh my God! Is the investigation over? Were you cleared?” I knew it was too soon, but he was all over me on my doorstep. I couldn’t think of any other reason he’d be so excited.
“Have a seat,” he said, calmly.
“But…” I couldn’t wait to hear his news. Why didn’t he just tell me?
He laughed again. “Daphne, sit down, please.”
I sat. I wasn’t happy about it. I wanted to know what was going on. Right then. I wanted instant gratification so that we could kiss more.
“Let me get through this before you say anything, okay?” I nodded. It was going to be hard, but for him, I would do it. He said, “I’m not a priest any longer.”
My stomach fell as I suddenly thought maybe he was let go, kicked out, ostracized…all because of me. There was a part of me that guiltily celebrated, too. Now we can be together! That’s what the public kiss was about. I kept my mouth shut though, although it was hard as hell.
“I’ve been soul-searching since the night I met you, trying to figure out why I would do what you and I were doing without regard to the fact that I’d taken a vow of celibacy and promised my life to the church. I came to some big conclusions about that.
“Once I did that, I went to the Diocese and I told them that I would step down so they didn’t have to have this big investigation. I also told them that this wasn’t a snap decision. I’ve put a lot of thought into it. I’ve agonized over it and I’ve prayed over it.
“This is what I kept coming back to: being a priest was not my calling. Being a Catholic is completely separate from that and I can still have a relationship with God.”
He paused to take a breath and I opened my mouth. He smiled and held up a finger. I stayed silent as he reached and took my face in his hands.
Leaning in close, he said, “I realized that this was the only decision that would allow me to be happy. I realized that since that first night, I had already chosen you. It’s the right choice, as long as you choose me, too?”
I decided that I didn’t need to speak. I let my lips meet his and we kissed, passionately, speaking without any words; we were talking to each other through our hearts and our souls.
A sense of peace washed over me and although I knew Jace and I would have a lot to figure out, and our lives would never be perfect, we could be happy, as long as we were together.
He kissed the corner of my mouth and then up along the side of my face to my ear. He pressed his lips into me and said, “You take my breath away, Daphne.”
I couldn’t speak. No man had ever told me that. I kissed him again, this time with even more passionately. When he pulled back he let those sexy, intense eyes roam across my body. “Take off your clothes,” he said as he stood up off the couch. “Take them off.” He pulled off his shirt.
The sight of his naked chest got me busy. I pulled off my shirt and as I was tossing it aside I felt him drop to his knees in front of me and pull at the waistband of the shorts and panties I was wearing. He pulled them down to my feet and I lifted my feet so he could pull them all the way off.
Then, I felt the warmth of his hands around my calves. He ran them up my body, pushing me back into the couch as he did. He was suddenly straddling me, looming over me. I could feel his hard erection pushing against his jeans and into the top of my mound. Looking up at him like that was so arousing.
He flexed into me and I shuddered as I felt the fool force of his arousal. He bent down and nipped at the lobe of my ear. God, he’s so sexy and he smells so good. The whole picture had the effect of gasoline being poured on the fire he had constantly smoldering in the pit of my belly.
He pressed his lips into me again, and I felt his warm breath and the vibrations of his voice as he said, “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”