“It’s lovely to meet you, Carla, I’m Father Jace.” If this wasn’t my screwed-up life, the look on her face would be hilarious. Her jaw was scraping the ground and before Jace figured out it was because she knew we had sex, I interrupted.
“We’re happy to be here, Father. It’s so beautiful.” Jace’s eyes left Carla’s stunned face and transferred over to mine. I searched his eyes for any sign that he was either thinking I was a pathetic fool or wondering about his missed opportunity.
He didn’t seem to be showing signs of either. He was acting like everything was…normal. I was not sure what to make of that. Was it normal to him? Wouldn’t that be so wrong?
“We’ve got enough canoes for two to each boat. Most of them are already down by the harbor. Do you two feel confident enough to do this on your own?”
“I don’t know if we’re really strong enough,” Carla started. She’s incorrigible.
“We’ll be fine,” I said with my teeth grit in her direction. She smiled. I am so going to kick her ass.
“Okay then, just grab which one you want and when we take off, we’ll all follow each other. We’ll have some time to explore Bumpkin Island before lunch. It’s a great place, if you’ve never been there.”
“Okay, thanks.” He smiled again.
God, he’s so beautiful. I watched him walk away to go greet the rest of the canoe party and I actually forgot Carla was there until she said, “Whoa…he’s hot! I wish I was screwing a priest.”
“Carla!” I tried to act shocked, but I had to smile. She’s too much, but no one can ever accuse her of not speaking her mind. I wished I was more like her, sometimes. Most of the time, actually. “Come on, let’s get a boat.”
As we walked down towards the edge of the water she said, “He’s good.”
“What do you mean?”
“I got no indication the two of you had sex from him. He’s good. I wonder how many other women he’s seduced.” She let that hang in the air. I’d had the same thought, but I didn’t want to say it aloud. That might make it real.
We picked out one of the canoes and dragged it off to the side. I was on the side facing up the hill and I could see Jace. He was talking to the hot woman in the cut-offs. She had a radiant smile as she looked at his face.
She kept touching him on the arm as they talked, and whatever he was saying must have been hilarious because she kept tossing her head back and laughing out loud. Or maybe she was just flirting and liked to toss her long, dark hair. She would be a brunette. It was further proof that I’d just been a fluke because he was drunk and I wasn’t his usual type.
I felt the twinge of jealousy in the pit of my stomach, although I knew in my heart that was just one more sin to add to the trail I was leaving of them lately.
“Hey! I’m talking to you,” I heard Carla say.
“I’m sorry. What did you say?”
She shook her head. “Baby girl, we all fall in love with our first. You won’t ever forget him and you might even be a little bit in love with him forever, but it doesn’t mean he’s the right one for you. He’s super-hot and I’d do him, but, baby girl, you’ve got a conscience like no one else I know. It would eat you alive. Get over him and find a real man that you can be with and not feel bad about, okay?”
I nodded, feeling a lump in my throat. I knew she was right, not that he’s not a “real” man, he is…most definitely. But, I know what she meant. He’s not available and he never will be.
I didn’t really even know him. What I did know wasn’t good. He was worse than a guy who cheats on his wife or girlfriend. He cheated on God. He took vows and he broke them at least once. I should walk away quickly, lesson learned.
I glanced back over to where he and the pretty woman were getting their boat ready to go into the water. If I knew he was so bad for me, then why did my chest fill with want and need every time I looked at him? Hopefully, Carla was right and it’s just because he was my first. That infatuation would have to fade with time…wouldn’t it?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jace
After I made sure the rest of our group all had their canoes and each boat had at least one person in it who knew what they were doing, I put ours into the water and stepped in. Then, I reached out my hand and helped Lily step in.
As I did that my eyes caught Daphne’s. She was watching us. I made sure not to let go so quickly that Lily fell down again, but I didn’t hold onto her too long. I wondered what was going on behind Daphne’s blue eyes. Was she wondering if I slept with Lily, too? I wondered if I cared because I had to be careful, or because I didn’t want Daphne to think I wanted someone else.
“Okay, so do you want to paddle, too, or—” Lily jerked the paddle from my hand with a snort.
“Are you insinuating I’m not capable of paddling? Do you remember summer camp, sophomore year?”
I smiled. I did remember it. That was one of my favorite summers ever. We were sophomores in high school and we’d been dating for about six months at that time. That was a church trip, too. We canoed and hiked and had a campfire every night. It was a great time. It was the first time I told Lily that I loved her, too.
It was kind of a serious topic to get into right then, so trying to lighten the mood I said, “I remember. I remember that I brought two whole bags of marshmallows and you burnt them all to a crisp.”