“You just can’t seem to take no for an answer,” he said. “And I don’t want to go in circles with you about this. We can’t continue to see each other. It’s just not going to work out. I can’t really think of another way to put it.”
For a moment, neither of said anything. I just stood there, still unable to believe that he was saying this and that he actually meant it. My mind was racing, bringing forth everything that he’d said to me recently, how he’d never felt this way toward anyone before, how we had a connection, how incredible it was when we were together. Was all that really bullshit? Was it just something he was saying to me because he wanted to get laid?
The work day was only halfway over, but there was no way in hell I was going to be able to stay there, in his vicinity. Not right now. I grabbed my purse and stormed out, half-expecting him to tell me not to go, that I shouldn’t. But he didn’t say anything. He just stood there, watching me, a pained expression on his face.
I texted Caroline and asked if there was any way that she could meet up with me, even if it was the middle of the day. She texted back and said she could take an extended lunch. We met up at a café right around the block from her work.
“It just doesn’t make any sense,” I said to Caroline. I wished that we had met up at her place, or at mine, because I could feel the tears there, just behind my eyes, but I didn’t want to start crying in a public place, especially when there were so many people around. “I don’t understand why he would go from one extreme to the next.”
Caroline was looking at my sympathetically. I could tell she felt bad, but there was also some relief mixed in there. “He seems like an extreme person,” she said. “That just sort of seems like the way he is, so I guess it’s not really that surprising. I’m really sorry, Daisy, I am. Even though I wasn’t his biggest fan, I know you liked him a lot. But there are so many other guys out there. Don’t let yourself get caught up with him, because I know the right person is out there for you. He’s going to have a baby with someone else. That’s a whole can of worms you don’t even want to have to deal with. It might not sound like a big deal right now, but
that’s just because the baby isn’t here yet.”
“I know,” I said. I sniffed and took a sip of my ice water. “I know there are a thousand reasons why it would be better if I didn’t see him. It’s like, if I wrote a list of pros and cons, the cons side would be so much longer, but that doesn’t matter . . . I just know how I feel when I’m with him, and it’s different with him. I guess I just hate that I can’t even trust my own feelings about this!”
“He’s been giving you mixed signals this whole time. I don’t think it’s so much that you can’t trust how you feel about him—I think you can’t trust him. He hasn’t been upfront with you about a lot of stuff, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re a trusting person, and you’ve believed what he’s said so far, and that’s no fault of yours. It’s really not.”
“I still feel foolish.”
“I don’t think you should work there anymore, though.”
“So what, I’m just going to be unemployed?”
“Until you find another job. You’ve got a little money saved, don’t you?”
“Yeah. But I was hoping to move, maybe.”
“I’m not saying that you still can’t do that, but for right now, I think it’d be best if you got out of there. And by out of there, I mean your job. There’s no way that you’re going to be able to get over him if you keep seeing him all the time. And who knows—if you go in there for work tomorrow, he might be like, Oh, Daisy, I’ve changed my mind, let’s get back together, you’re the love of my life.”
“Which I know would be complete bullshit.”
“Right, but would you be able to say no to that?”
“I hope so.” But even as I said it, I knew there was a possibility that I wouldn’t be able to, that I’d just jump back into his arms, first chance I got.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ian
I was both surprised and relieved to see Daisy show up the next morning. After she’d left yesterday, I had wanted to call her, but I knew that it would be better to give her some space.
“Hi, Daisy,” I said.
“Can we talk in your office?”
“Sure, of course.”
She pushed the door shut behind her. “I’m giving you my notice,” she said. “I’ll work here for another two weeks.”
I nodded. “Okay. I hate to see you go, but—”
She shook her head. “Don’t. Just don’t, okay? Don’t tell me how it’s going to pain you so much to see me go, because I know that’s all just a bunch of bullshit. That basically anything that comes out of your mouth is going to be total bullshit.” She rolled her eyes. “I hate to see you go.”
It did sound trite, her saying it like that. “I just meant that . . . I wish things could have worked out differently.”
“You don’t even know what that means,” she said.
“Yes, I do. I wish that this wasn’t going to end up hurting you. I don’t want to see that.”