So when he texted Amy back a few minutes later and said that he wasn’t busy that Friday, she set the whole thing up. I was going to meet him at a little café in Gardner, which was good, because it was a big enough town that I probably wouldn’t run into Cole.
“There,” she said. “You’re all set. Now, don’t feel like there’s any pressure or anything, okay? This is just for fun, and Jay is cool. It’ll be great.”
I tried to smile, though something was telling me that going on a date like this when I didn’t feel like it wasn’t such a good idea.
My mother called a few days later.
“You sound like you’re feeling better,” she said. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay. I’m actually going on a date tonight,” I said.
“You are? That’s great!” my mom exclaimed. “I’m so happy to hear that. I think that’s a really good sign.”
“You don’t think that it’s too soon? Because I don’t really want to go on the date; I just agreed to it because Amy seemed to think that it was what I needed.”
“I think it’ll do you some good,” my mother said. “Like I was saying when you were staying over here—you just need to realize that there are indeed many other fish in the sea, and that you are quite the catch. I know that Cole had a lot of good qualities about him, but he’s not the only person out there. Even if this guy isn’t the man of your dreams, it will do you some good to have some fun with someone who isn’t Cole.”
“I’ll try,” I said, but I felt more trepidation than excitement.
That feeling didn’t really change when Friday night rolled around. I had managed to avoid seeing Cole during pick-up this afternoon by busying myself in the back office, pretending that I was going through student files. I heard his voice, but I didn’t lift my head up from the desk. I was afraid that if I saw him, I would lose all nerve right then and there and demand that Amy cancel the date for tonight. I didn’t even want to think of it like a date; I was just getting together with some guy for dinner. Hopefully, we’d have some decent conversation, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if it turned out to be completely awkward either.
I wasn’t sure how I would recognize... wait, what his name? I couldn’t remember. I texted Amy as I was getting out of the car, hoping that she had her phone on her and she’d be able to respond immediately, but she didn’t. So I racked my brain, trying to remember. It was something short, wasn’t it?
I walked to the restaurant, The Flying Moose, and there was a guy standing by the entrance. He had shaggy, light brown hair and a beard, and he was smoking a cigarette.
I stopped a few feet away from him; maybe this wasn’t the right guy. But right as I was about to walk past and go into the restaurant, he looked at me and said my name.
I smiled weakly. “Hey,” I said. “Um... I’m sorry, I forget your name.”
“Jay.”
Ah, that was it.
He dropped his cigarette into the ashtray and shook my hand. “I’m sorry, you caught me smoking. I’m not a smoker, I swear.”
“Sure,” I said. “I can totally see that.”
“I was a little nervous.”
“Oh. I hope not on account of me.”
“Well... yes and no. I haven’t been on a real date in a while, if you don’t mind my saying. Actually, I probably shouldn’t be saying that, should I?” He smiled. “It doesn’t make me sound very good.”
We both stood there, a second of awkward silence extending to a couple seconds. I couldn’t do this. I just couldn’t do it.
“It’s not a date,” I finally blurted out.
He looked at me blankly. “It’s not?”
“Well, I mean, yes, it is a date, but... I’m kind of being forced to go. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” I added quickly. “I don’t know what details Amy told you...”
“She didn’t really tell me anything. I don’t know Amy that well, actually, I’m friends with her cousin. Is... is something going on that I should know about?”
“I’m just telling you this because I want to be up-front.” If I didn’t say anything now, I had a feeling that Jay would think we had hit it off really well, and he’d want to go on a second date, and then I’d have to break it to him that I wasn’t interested in anyone at all, really, and that I was on this date because he was supposed to be a rebound. I didn’t want that to happen. “This guy recently broke up with me...” I started, and then I trailed off, not quite sure how to finish the sentence.
“Ah,” he said. “I’m the rebound.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think that it would be a good idea, but Amy was pretty persistent about it. She made it sound like it wouldn’t bother you or anything. And I’m not saying you’d fall in love with me, but... it just seems kind of like a shitty thing to do to someone.”