“So, what did you do when he asked you to come home with him?”
“I can’t quite remember what I said,” I admitted. “I think I apologized and told him I had to go. Then I…went.”
Missy looked at me carefully for a moment. “Do you regret it?”
I thought about that question, and then I nodded slowly. “A part of me does,” I replied. “But a part of me doesn’t. It was too fast, and it would have been my first time with a man. I’m not sure that’s how I would want it to happen.”
“Why not?”
“Because as beautiful and charming and dreamy as Chance is, I don’t really know him. And, he certainly doesn’t know me. I would want us to have a connection before we slept together… I told you, I’ve always thought sex should mean something.”
“Fair enough,” Missy nodded. “But can I give you a piece of advice?”
“Always.”
“Everything can’t always be perfect, Nat,” she said. “Sometimes, perfect only works in the books and movies. Real life… It’s raw and messy and complicated. I get you want your first time to mean something, but meaning is entirely subjective and can be based on a million different factors. If you wait around for perfection, you might just miss out on a whole bunch of experiences in the process. Sometimes perfect enough is the best we can hope for.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “How will I know when I’m ready?”
“I really can’t say,” she said. “Only you can decide that. All I’m saying is we’re getting ready to join the real world soon. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life afraid to take the plunge?”
“No, of course not,” I said, realizing that Missy was right.
“Good, then it’s time to put yourself out there right now,” she said. “No excuses.”
I nodded and looked towards my desk. The dress I had worn the previous night was draped over my chair. I reached out and touched the silver-blue beads.
“He liked the dress?”
“He did.” I smiled. “And, I loved it, too.”
“I’m glad,” Missy said. “It suited you. You didn’t look as awkward or out of place as you felt.”
I stared at the dress and made a split-second decision. “I think I’m going to take a little inspiration from this dress,” I said.
“Meaning?” she asked, raising one eyebrow.
“You’re right,” I said. “I need to take some risks and put myself out there – starting with my wardrobe.”
Missy’s expression was a blank for a moment, and then I saw a glint in her eye. “You mean…”
“I’m going to keep the look,” I said. “Or at least, the spirit of the look. I’m going to swap out some of my clothes for something that actually takes the shape of my body.”
She let out a triumphant wolf whistle.
“And, I think I’m going to keep the contacts, too.”
Missy looked thrilled. ?
??I’m so proud!” she said dramatically.
I laughed. “I think I’ll keep my ponytail, though… I’m fond of it, and I don’t want to change too much. There are things about myself I like.”
“I support that completely,” she said approvingly. “The ponytail’s got a sexy vibe to it, anyway, especially now that you’re going to dress properly.”
I laughed. “I might need to borrow some clothes from you.”
“Hey, I’m more than happy to share,” Missy said immediately. “I just wish you had wanted to raid my wardrobe sooner. How about we figure out what you’re going to wear for your Monday lecture?”