“For what happened back there,” Phil said. “She was an ex-girlfriend, but there’s nothing between us. There hasn’t been for a very long time. I was dating her around the same time I met your brother. I had just realized that I wanted to be a firefighter and was in the process of starting to pursue it. She was around for most of those discussions and encouraged me to go through with it.
“We broke up when I was going through my training. I was neglecting her, and she wasn’t happy. I think we both realized that the relationship was not going to withstand the pressure and stress of my new job. We parted on good terms, but I don’t have any feelings for Anna. Trust me on that.”
“Is that why you think I got upset?” I asked.
Phil paused for a moment, obviously having considered nothing else. “Um…yes.”
I shook my head and turned my face towards the moonlight streaming down through the trees. “No, that’s not why I got upset.”
“Okay,” Phil said, after a moment. “Then tell me why you got upset, please.”
My hand was still in his, and I squeezed it for a moment. “I thought we had this amazing connection—”
“We do,” he interrupted.
“How is that possible?” I asked. “When the truth is, I don’t know anything real about you. We talk about books and movies and music. We talk about food and traveling and art. We talk about our opinions on each one of those subjects, but we don’t talk about each other. I didn’t even know that you had a brother until Anna mentioned him tonight.”
I saw understanding dawn on Phil’s face.
“Isn’t that something you mention?” I asked. “At least in passing?”
“It is for most people,” Phil replied.
“But not for you?”
“I don’t like talking about my brother,” he said. “In fact, I don’t like talking about my family, at all.”
I nodded. “I suppose I’ll have to respect that, then.”
“No,” he countered, drawing me in with his eyes. “I was just trying to explain to you why it doesn’t come naturally to me to talk about my past and my family. But I do want to share all that with you, Megan… Not because you’re asking, but because I feel safe with you.”
The word sent a shock of electricity buzzing through me. That was exactly how I felt about him, and I smiled in response. “I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do,” I said. “I just… I was overly sensitive tonight. I shouldn’t have just walked away like I did.”
Phil waved away my apology. “Ask me anything,” he said. “I want to answer.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
“Okay,” I started. “You mentioned not having seen your brother in years.”
Phil nodded. “Paul is… He’s in jail.”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “What?”
“He was sentenced to nine years in prison for doing drugs,” Phil explained.
“Oh my God,” I breathed.
“He’s currently served four years of his sentence. But it’s going to be another five years before he sees the real world again.”
“And you haven’t seen him for four years?” I asked.
“I haven’t seen him in two and a half years,” he replied. “I visited him for the first year and a half and then… I suppose I felt like I needed to put my past behind me. And at the time, I felt that included my brother.
“To be honest, I was just mad at him. He was my idol. He was the only person I looked up to… It’s a strange feeling to watch your hero be dragged off in cuffs. Sort of ruins the image. My brother and I… You know what, I feel like I need to start from the beginning.”
“Start from anywhere I like,” I said, refusing to let go of his hand.