“No, that was…different,” he muttered. “It’s just that this is really personal, and I didn’t think it was right to involve you in it. Plus, you didn’t seem all that…welcoming.”
“Just because you’re sleeping on the couch, doesn’t mean I don’t care about what’s going on with you,” I chided.
“Well, it’s not like we’re spending a whole lot of time sitting around talking,” he replied.
“Probably because you’re on your phone all the time,” I grinned, trying to lighten the mood. His face darkened briefly before he looked over and saw me smiling.
“Touché,” he said as he returned my grin. “Fine, let’s talk then.”
“I’ve already started the conversation,” I pointed out. “I asked what you’re doing to get me home.”
“I’ve got a plan that I’m working on with a couple of former SEAL buddies,” he admitted. “I’m not sure how it’s going to play out, so I don’t want to say anything before we get the pieces in place, but I should know more this evening, and if I do, I’ll tell you then.”
“Is that what all the texting is about?” I asked.
“Um, no, not really,” he stammered as he looked away.
“Then what is it?” I probed.
“Ava, I think there are some things better left alone, okay?” he said. The look on his face begged me not to push, so I let it go.
“Fine, whatever,” I said as I turned back around and looked at my homework. Tears began to well up in my eyes as I thought about how he was shutting me out when I had let him into the darkest parts of my life, but I was determined not to let him see me break down.
“Ava,” Brian whispered in my ear making me jump. He’d gotten up and silently moved across the room. “You can push me away all you want, but at the end of the day I’m still going to be here.”
“But only because you’re being paid to be here,” I whispered at the desk as I bowed my head and I fought back the tears. I was not going to cry.
“Is that what you think?” he said softly as he ran his fingers through my hair and pulled it away from my face. “Do you think I’m only here because I’m being paid to be here?”
I nodded, unable to speak without giving away my fragile emotional state. Brian bent down and scooped me up off of the chair and carried me to the couch, where he gently set me down and then sat across from me. He took my hand and looked into my eyes for a long while.
“I’m not here just for the paycheck,” he said. “Let’s get that cleared up. I’m here because your father hired me, that’s for sure, but I stay because of you, Ava.” He stopped and let that sink in as I looked back at him.
“You’re not going to leave as soon as this is all over?” I asked. “You’ll stay with me?”
“Well, that’s a difficult one, you know?” he replied. “My job requires me to travel, and you’re still in college. You’ve got so much to do and see and experience, and I’ve…well, I’ve lived a really different life.”
“So, you’ll just pack up and leave when this is over?” I said defensively.
“I didn’t say that,” he smiled as he held my hand tightly. “I just said that there were going to be a lot of challenges for us to face. You sound like you want me to stay.”
I nodded, and then the dam broke and I began to cry. I cried not only because I wanted him to stay, but because I was tired of living a life where everyone left. I was tired of being shuttled around from place to place and having nowhere to call home. I was tired of feeling like an outsider in my own life. Brian moved forward and pulled me into his arms. He held me as I cried, sobbed really, just stroking my back and saying “It’ll be okay” over and over.
When the tears finally subsided, I felt as if I’d run a marathon. I was exhausted and hungry. Brian called down and ordered a huge dinner for both of us, and then went into the bathroom and ran a tub full of hot bubbles before coming out and telling me to go take advantage of it before the dinner arrived. I stood up and nearly stumbled. Brian swiftly caught me and carried me to the bathroom, where he gently removed my clothes before depositing me in the hot, scented water.
“Don’t drown,” he warned as he went out to the living area to set up for dinner. I giggled a little and nodded, indicating that I’d do my best to obey his order. As I lay in the tub, I felt the stress of the day sliding away, and I closed my eyes as I tried to relax.
I had no idea how this was all going to work out, but maybe, for once in my life, things would work out in a way that didn’t leave me feeling alone.
**
***
I emerged from the bathroom feeling relaxed and drowsy, and found Brian setting up the dinner dishes that the room server had delivered. It was a veritable feast, and my mouth watered as I looked at the plates full of crisp field greens mixed with bright red tomatoes and pale green cucumbers next to dinner plates containing perfectly grilled filets, baked potatoes bursting out of their skins as they dripped butter and sour cream, and pan-fried asparagus stalks coated in bread crumbs and parmesan cheese. I wouldn’t have known all of this had Brian not handed me the menu that accompanied the meal.
“Madame,” he said with a big grin as he pulled out a chair for me and motioned me to sit down. I laughed and sat. The smell of the food made my stomach growl as I remembered that I’d not eaten anything since breakfast.
“This looks amazing,” I complimented him. “Perhaps I should let you order all of my food from now on.”