Brian started to object, then stopped and looked away. “Fine,” he mumbled. “I’ll stay on my side of the suite and maintain constant vigilance.”
I couldn’t tell if he was mocking me or being serious, but for the time being, I didn’t care. I’d dealt with the situation, and now it was time to get to class.
“Get dressed,” I said. “I don’t want to be late to class.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with a snappy salute before quickly pulling on his clothes and heading out to the main room.
I felt a twinge of sadness as I watched him walk through the door, but I took a deep breath and pushe
d it aside.
*****
On the ride back to the dorm, Brian rolled down the window and let the breeze blow through the SUV. He fiddled with the stereo for a while before turning it off and plunging the interior into silence. I looked out the passenger side window at the buildings flying by and wondered how I’d wound up here. I’d made some poor decisions, for certain, but somehow, it didn’t all add up.
“You know, Ava, what we did last night isn’t something to be ashamed of,” Brian’s voice cut through my silent thoughts.
“I know,” I replied.
“It’s totally normal for people who’ve been abused to transfer feelings from one situation to another,” he continued. “It’s perfectly understandable if you feel uncomfortable, but I promise you that I didn’t use you last night.”
“What are you talking about?” I snapped.
“I’m saying that I didn’t use you,” he continued. “And it wasn’t my intent to make you feel used.”
“I don’t feel used in the least.” I was getting progressively more irritated with his attempt at playing therapist. “In fact, I don’t feel anything.”
“Oh, I see.” His voice sounded both hurt and patronizing, and I wondered how that was possible.
“Look, I’m not saying it was bad or that I think you did anything wrong,” I backpedaled, and tried to soothe his obviously hurt feelings. “I’m just saying that I appreciate you being there for me last night. It was kind of you, and I’m grateful that you were there, but I don’t feel more than that and I’d like to keep it professional from now on.”
“Sure,” came the terse reply.
“But really, thank you,” I said quietly. “You were really great.”
My backhanded compliment was met with a stony silence that lasted until we arrived at the dorm.
*****
After I’d stopped in my room to change my clothes and grab my books, Brian and I walked toward the quad in silence. I felt bad that I’d basically shot him down in the car when he was trying so hard to be nice, but I couldn’t see any good coming of us continuing down the path of some fake romance that was brought about by my situation. All I wanted was to let him do his job so I could walk around campus safe from the fear of being attacked by Dominic and his illusions about our future.
I looked over my shoulder for the third time, and caught Brian doing what he had been doing for the past 24 hours; scanning the landscape, looking for threats to my safety. I sighed as I looked ahead, trying to find Lara and Jessie in the crowd on the quad. When I finally located them, I waved and walked quickly towards the spot where the two of them had camped out with their books and computers. Neither one was studying, but they’d managed to set a very convincing scene.
“What are you two doing?” I demanded to know.
“We’re studying,” Jessie whined as she sipped a diet soda as her textbook lay open on the ground, well out of reach.
“Oh, really?” I laughed. “It doesn’t exactly look like A+ central here with all your stuff spread out across the quad.”
“Hey, we’re taking it all in and thinking about the most efficient method of processing the information,” Lara said as she looked at me with wide, innocent eyes.
“You’re so full of it!” I laughed harder as I dropped down and sat next to her. “Do you have the Psych study guide?”
“Yeah, it’s somewhere here,” Lara dug into her backpack and searched for the guide, triumphantly holding it over her head once she’d found it.
“Where’s the hottie?” Jessie asked as she sat up and leaned on one elbow, scanning the quad for Brian.
“Dunno, somewhere around here,” I said as I waved my hand distractedly. “I’m sure he’s casing the quad, making sure I won’t trip over an errant blade of grass or a soda can or something.”