"What?" I tried to ask him, but he was already gone. He was walking straight for the bar, right to a girl sitting a tight dress and tall heels. He put his hand on her back getting her attention.
"Did you drive here?" the girl asked, catching my attention again. Sasha. I thought I remembered Don calling her Sasha.
"Yeah, why?" I asked. And right then, I got the answer to my own question. Don had picked her up for me and she wanted to get out of here.
"I didn't. I could use a ride home," she said flirtatiously.
"You still want that second drink?"
"Nope," she said. She was excited. I could tell by the way she was leaning forward into me. I glanced at the bar and saw Don with his arms around the girl he had been talking to. She was laughing, and he was kissing her neck or whispering in her ear. One look at them and it was obvious where it was going. One of them wasn't getting home tonight. I looked back over at Sasha.
"Let's go," I said. I downed the rest of my beer and held my hand out to take hers. She grinned, coming out of the booth and following me out of the bar. Her hand felt weird. It was a little bigger than Ron's and she was wearing rings. Ron never wore rings.
Stop it, I thought. You really want to think about that now?
I led her to my car and opened the passenger side for her. She grabbed my hand as I turned to get to the driver's side. I turned to ask her what was up, but I didn't get it out. She slammed into me, kissing me. I was stunned for a second before I kissed her back. I put my hands on her hips and pressed her into me. She parted her lips, and I felt her tongue against mine.
That was what did it. I pulled away.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
Everything was. Her touch, her kiss, her everything. She wasn't Ron. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't right. I didn't want to touch her. It should have been Ron I was spending the night with tonight. Not this girl.
"I can't do this," I admitted.
"Did I do something?"
"No. This was a bad idea. I'm sorry. Can you tell me where you live? I'll drop you off." Her arms dropped to her sides when she realized I was serious.
"Is it because of your ex?"
"Yeah," I admitted heavily. Why lie about it now? I had already turned her down. She crossed her arms like she was cold suddenly.
"Well, I hope you two can work it out," she said shrugging. I apologized again and helped her into the car. I dropped her off and drove back to my place. I sat in the car for about ten minutes before going inside. It was empty when I did, and that sucked. I could have had her tonight. Sasha. I could have fucked her right against the door. Right then, nothing else would have mattered.
I shook my head, taking my shirt off, getting ready for bed. It wasn't going to happen like that. It would take more than some shots and beer to forget Veronica. I didn't know what would have been worse – Screwing that girl and smelling Ron on my sheets the whole time, or being alone and smelling her anyway.
Both sucked either way. Did it matter which was worse?
Chapter Thirty Two
Veronica
I remembered what I felt the first time I saw it. I hadn't been expecting it. We'd been outside, having a picnic then he just told me to shut my eyes and gave me this gift box. It was bittersweet, thinking about it now. A week after he had given it to me, we had broken up and he had left. I had come so close to getting rid of it, but I never had. It was like I had known somehow that this day was coming.
I rubbed the pink stone between my fingers and played with the gold chain. After he had dumped me, I had felt like the necklace was an insult. I hadn't really worn it at all since he had left the first time. It just brought so much back up.
It would always be associated with him, not just because he'd given it to me, but because of when he gave it to me. It sort of signified the second part of our relationship, when our feelings just stewed over thousands of miles. The time when we had both tried to get on with our lives, but hadn't managed to leave each other behind.
The sun might have been setting outside, I wasn't sure. My blinds had been closed since I had gotten home. I wasn't looking forward to the weekend. I had been waiting for today to come and now that it was almost over, I wondered where he was. Was he still close enough for me to get to? His house, or the airport. Maybe he had been gone for hours already.
It didn't feel good to admit, but this time was easier. The past two weeks had passed robotically. I had gone to class, studied, hung out with Tiff once or twice, even gone to see my parents. I had been in control of the separation this time, but he had made it easy for me. He hadn't called. He hadn't tried to text me or come see me. Nothing.
This was the way I wanted it to be. This was why I told him I didn't want to be together anymore. So he could have the future he always wanted. The one he deserved.
I put the necklace down on the nightstand and rolled onto my face. I had been spending a lot of time in bed, a pathetic attempt to self-soothe. I was doing the right thing by him. He didn't owe me this. I could never ask him for it, I had no right. With the way I had been feeling lately, convincing myself that this wasn't a mistake had been getting a little difficult. Hopefully, once I knew he was gone, a switch would flip and I wouldn't feel like this anymore.
My phone broke me out of my thoughts. It was Tiffany. She had offered to come over tonight with food, and I hadn't had a good enough reason to tell her not to. I didn't figure I'd be very good company, but I had to do something. If she was worried, she wasn't showing it. She wasn't showing it if she was onto me, either. I had made a point to not ask about Roman so I didn't know what if anything they had said to each other.