"Just decent, hmm?" The handsome boy in front of me pulled me closer as the music slowed. "I'm thinking someone as interesting as yourself shouldn't be tied down. You need to live a little and date a lot."
"Interesting? You barely know me." I finished my beer and handed the empty to Amy as she gave me another one. She should have been dancing with the guy, not me.
"What if I want to get to know you?" He ran his hand over my lower back, pressing in softly and forcing me flush against him. The strong muscles of his chest felt good, but one dance was all I had in me. I wasn't interested in a friendship with anyone that looked as good as this guy. He was just after one thing, and I wasn't interested.
I almost wished I could be. Jealousy ran through me for people that could simply show up to a party, find a good partner for the night, and get lost in the pleasure of being touched, fucked, and held. I wasn't that girl, though I wanted to be.
Only needy people do that.
My internal thoughts were starting to sound more and more like my mother. It was disturbing on far too many levels to think too much about.
"You want sex. I'm here to drink, dance, and laugh with my friends. Sleeping with some random guy isn't going to happen. Boyfriend. Remember?" I tried to force the logical side of my mind to close down for a few minutes. I wasn't going to go upstairs with the guy, but that didn't mean that I needed to come back at him with a rational thought to shove in his face every time he spoke.
"Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your boyfriend headed upstairs about twenty minutes ago with a blonde who looked like she ate grown men for breakfast." He touched the side of my face as my heart almost stopped in my chest. "And, I'm not thinking they’re playing poker up there."
"What?" I pulled away from him and glanced up toward the stairs. I wasn't head over heels in love with Paul, but there was no way in hell I was letting him cheat on me. I was a lot of things, but a fool wasn't one of them.
"Come back down here after you rip his throat out, and I'll make things better." Kade released me and walked back into the kitchen.
I moved to the bottom of the stairs as indecision tore through me. Someone gripped my elbow and pulled a little. Katelyn.
"Hey. Where have you been? I was looking all over this fucking place for you. You can't answer your phone?" She gave me a stern look.
I patted my butt and front pockets. "Dammit. I must have left it in my car that's getting towed. Figures."
"Getting towed?" Her face paled. "Did you get in an accident? Are you hurt?"
Martin moved up beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. His curly brown hair made him look like a teenage boy, and his smile made it even worse. He was one of the few good guys left. They seemed to be a dying breed, or maybe I was just being negative.
"No. The battery failed again, so some guy pulled over and checked it out for me. Can we talk about this later? Some guy just told me that Paul went upstairs with someone half an hour ago." I gripped the banisters and started up the stairs as anger burned through the center of my chest.
"Oh no," Katelyn mumbled behind me, but I ignored her.
I needed to let my angst out on someone or something. It might as well be my cheating-ass boyfriend. Some part of me hoped that it was anyone but Carolyn Jacobs. It had to be her, and chewing her out for being a huge slut would only be the beginning of my attack against her – but then again, to have to put so much emotional energy into something sounded heinous.
I heard three different couples having sex or starting to by the time I stopped and listened through the last door in the hallway. The sound of Paul's grunts sickened me, and I wondered again for the hundredth time that day why I wasn't enough. Why I wasn't more than enough for him. For any of them.
"No. You don't get to turn this around on you. It's about him being a bastard, not you being worthless." I reached out for the door as the burn of tears gave me pause. I didn't want to see him with Carolyn, and yet I couldn't walk away. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that it had nothing to do with me, the feeling of inadequacy wouldn't stop crashing against me.
I opened the door and moved in as I took a quick breath.
Paul had someone pressed to the wall with his pants down and his ugly white ass showing. His grunting didn't stop, and I had my answer as to who he was with as she cried out his name.
"Paul. Harder. Fuck me harder." Carolyn Jacobs.
"Am I interrupting? Cause I can come back." I lifted my beer to my lips and forced myself to remain calm as Paul jerked back and pulled up his jeans.
"Oh my God. Val. It's not what it looks like." He worked on his pants as he walked toward me.
I lifted my hand to stop him. "No? It looks like your fucking Carolyn against the wall at a party we're supposed to be at together."
"Because that's exactly what it is. If you put out more often this kind of stuff-" She'd made the mistake of stopping in front of me, and I did the only thing I could think to do.
I slapped her. Hard.
She recoiled and let out and angry sound as I stood there in shock. "Paul, don't let her attack me!"
"Shut up, Carolyn." He kept his attention on me. "Baby. Seriously. I had too much to drink."